- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m exactly the same! OCD feels so unbelievably real. But if you fear it, you don’t desire it. It’s not what you want, and your OCD knows that, so it’s latching onto it. And of course there will be times when you experience no anxiety towards the idea of it, but don’t mistake that for WANTING it. You probably just think about it so much that your brain doesn’t question it. Have you stated therapy?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
OMG I HAVE THIS EXACT THING TOO!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Well I got Harm OCD in December 2018 and then the thought of wanting to be a boy popped up into my head randomly one day and then basically took over. I don’t really get Harm thoughts any more as I constantly think about “what if I’m a boy” or “what if I want to be a boy” or “what if one day I actually become a boy” and stuff like that and it’s gotten really bad the last 2 days!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sorry I’ve been out all weekend and have only just been able to reply to this now! This obsession started for me a few days before Christmas and it was awful for the first week. My Christmas sucked because the intrusive thoughts were so bad. And my harm OCD has also somehow just vanished which of course I am thankful for, but I miss having my identify. I deffo had very vague thoughts before that about being a guy (but I think that was slightly linked to POCD as I feared that being a man would make me more dangerous etc). This trans OCD does suck though and it’s hard because there’s soo much doubt involved.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It’s just so hard to deal with! Sometimes I feel fine and I’ve got in under control but then like 2 minutes later I have all these doubts and thoughts. It’s just horrible and scary. I just want it to go!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah it’s crazy how quickly our brains just go from happy and stable to anxious and stressed. Unfortunately wishing it would go away does nothing (as much as I’d love it to!). You are at the stage that I 100% was at when this all started but I can hereby PROMISE you that the anxiety will die down a lot in these next couple weeks (or even days, we’re all different!). Once you start to let the thoughts sit and stop trying to fight them off with the usual ‘no but I am a girl, I love girly things’ etc, they lose their grip. It’s so horrible and so scary and I know that, but it’s also just a thought and an idea. It knows you don’t like it, so it’s just trying to piss you off! Pay minimum attention to it.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I have some good days and some bad days, how about you
- Date posted
- 6y ago
If you feel distressed about it, I’d imagine it’s most likely OCD. Why’d you stop wearing makeup?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I get bad anxiety when putting on makeup because it’s like my minds telling me it’s wrong
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It started with harm OCD for me, about 5 weeks prior (ironic) and I’m a teenager too. I was watching a film and then the intrusive thoughts hit me. For the first few weeks I was so distressed and worried until I found another person on this app going through it. And it’s been about a month now, but I’m glad I’ve found you too! We can help each other out with it :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Wait so you have thoughts about being a boy as well?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I hate it. I feel like I’ve lost myself
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah I always say how I don’t want to be a guy but then all these thoughts in my head give me all the reasons as to why I do want to be a guy and that being a guy wouldn’t be so bad then I get anxious cause It makes me think I want to be one! I’ve never ever questioned my gender before this so it’s just so confusing and I’m scared that one day I’ll actually listen to them.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It’s so cool to finally talk to people who get exactly the same thoughts as me lmao. Literally everything you’re saying I can relate to. But we’ve gotta remember that OCD is allllll about doubt. Doubting love for people, doubting whether or not you could hurt people, doubting gender, sexuality evvvveeeeyytthiiinngg. And of course it’s scary and sucks (and feels insanely real ALL the time) but at the end of the day, it’s all lies. All of it. There is no truth backing up anything that we think, they are simply just dumb intrusive thoughts. Mine hit me bad in the morning and at weird times at school and stuff, but I try my best to just let em pass. They don’t mean anything! Just bare that in mind ?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah but I realised that I was reassuring myself and that’s a compulsion so I stopped. Obvi I still do it from time to time, but a lot less!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
When did this obsession start for you?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Okay thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it!?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Aw you’re welcome, and thank you as well for making me feel less alone! And if you ever get a crazy amount of anxiety because of it or have a really bad OCD day, don’t hesitate to just comment on this post and I’ll reply :)
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Okay thank you so much
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hey, just checking how you’re doing. Do you feel less anxious these days or not so much?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Mines gone a bit weird again but I’m trying my best to let the thoughts pass without anxiety ://
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hey, how’s your ocd going? The last month has been really good for me and then all of a sudden I went to another therapy session for the first time in a months and it spiked everything and now I’m back at square one:/
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m doing okay! I still get affected from time to time but I’m definitely getting over it. That’s not to say it won’t affect me again in the future, but if it does, so be it. I guess for me, when I first got this theme, I didn’t realise it was a common part of OCD. And then when I found out other people suffer from TOCD too, I felt better because I wasn’t alone. But anyways. Don’t lose hope! You may feel like you’re back at square one, but don’t forget all the progress you’ve made this last month. Therapy can definitely be triggering at times, but what was it that made you stop? The fact that you felt better? Just wondering!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It just feels so real though, I constantly have anxiety in my stomach and feel low because it’s always on my mind. It’s trying to trick me saying that it’s not ocd and it’s what I want! Ughhh I need this shit to leaveeee
- Date posted
- 6y ago
The more you push it away, the worse it’ll be, trust me.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m very nervous that it’s not that though, I’m scared that I want to actually be a boy
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah I’m doing therapy but it doesn’t seem to be working! My thoughts make me believe that I actually want to be a boy but the thing is I’m not in happy being a girl. I just want the thoughts to go!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Unhappy**
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yep. Unfortunately the only way to make the thoughts go is to just accept them. Not necessarily saying ‘ah okay I’m a boy them’ but just accepting that you do not know. It’s weird and it feels odd but it’s been proven to work with OCD. I’m still trying hard to accept the uncertainty. I just hate the idea of being a guy because I like being a girl and stuff. And then I doubt myself and ask if I even like being a girl. Ugh it’s just annoying but we’ll be okay!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
then*
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Do you ever sometimes actually believe that it’s true and then you manage to talk yourself out of it or try calm yourself down?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Hey, it’s completely up to you, but there’s another girl on this app that I’ve talked to suffering from TOCD and we decided to chat on snapchat instead as it’s just slightly easier. If you want, maybe we could make a group chat? Just let me know! I won’t be offended if you don’t want to, I get it haha
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yeah! Sure
- Date posted
- 6y ago
What’s your username?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I think I added you?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@garden @cato4 hey, I’m 16 and a girl and I have been suffering from what I believe is TOCD. I don’t want to be a boy, and I never have, but I’m getting so much anxiety with all of these intrusive thoughts. One that is lingering is “what if when I’m older I get a boyfriend or start a family and then realise that I am actually transgender and that I have to transition”. I honestly don’t know what’s real and what’s not. I hope you guys see this and I hope you have over come this theme, maybe you could give me some tips?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hey!! I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this theme. There’s a groupchat on Snapchat with 6 or so TOCD sufferers that I can add you to? We help eachother out with it, but also with general worries or other themes. Everything you’ve said (fear of growing up and realising you’re trans) is exactly what we’ve all feared too so I promise you, you aren’t alone. If you need any support, let me know if you’d wanna join the chat! But if not we can’t talk on here :)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@garden Omg, you don’t know how much this means to me omg. Thank you so much. My snap is: ty_lee22 ❤️❤️❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I'm so tired 😭 I've been dealing with severe trans ocd for a month. My ocd is making me worry I'm a trans man. The thing is. I'm already out as nonbinary. I also compulsively confessed to my mom and told her I'm anxious I'll realize I'm a trans man and that I'm scared she'll hate me/abandon me. And she told me she would support me through it and my life even if she didn't understand it and that she wouldn't abandon me. I do like some masculine terms and I like he pronouns, I prefer they/them though. And I don't mind she, but I dont let people use it because I know they'll use it to misgender me. and that doesnt mean im a man. But I also don't know what I actually like/feel or what's OCD making me think I like/feel.. I can't stop ruminating and feeling like I need to label my gender pass nonbinary and think about if I feel like a man or not. So even when my biggest fear was denied I'm still anxious.
- Date posted
- 10w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- Date posted
- 4w ago
I cant do anything anymore without my brain dregdging up proof from my past that I was actually trans and didn't know it, and it all seems so plausible. like I said in my last post its unearthing memories that I didn't even know I have. ik this is just ocd tricking me but I feel like I need to review every moment thoroughly bc I have questioned my gender in the past but always concluded that'd I'd happier as a girl (which is true). everything feels so real and it feels like I am just super in denial. also, how do I tell people about this? I made the mistake of confessing to a teacher on a note and only a couple friends of mine understand the thoughts I get, but I don't tell them everything. however its very hard for me to do basic responsibilities like school work and I always end up overwhelmed, so I'm thinking I may need accomdations. I need to get in touch with my counselor but i'm unsure how to explain all of this to her, being that I don't have a diagnosis....also I feel like I can't talk about this with the majority of my friends because gender ocd is rare to have (increasing my doubts) and, at least school-wise, i'm in very accepting environment for lgbtq and I'm afraid they're just gonna tell me to accept myself. I'm scared of doing erp for this because what if I like it (also cant afford therapy). ive also felt very apprehensive around some of my trans friends and classmates because my brain is going crazy asking "what if you're like them?" and I feel so bad and transphobic for these thoughts. i'm genuinely so tired. one of my closest friends died last year, but my father pointed out that my recent mood has been even worse than it was during that time. i tend to bottle up my emotions a lot, so everyone's just telling me to "let it go" and tell people, but if I do that I feel like i'll end up confessing. i'm so tired and lost.
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