Vika
- Date posted
- 7y
Mjs110160Mjs110160
- Date posted
- 7y
Vika I think something that helps me with ROCD is slowing down and letting life happen. Why does it help? By slowing down and accepting life- that may or may not work out like you think- you accept the uncertainty behind the thoughts more in your head. For example, imagine if you said: “I’m not sure what’s going to happen in my relationship, but I’ll accept that there is a lot of uncertainty and in the time being focus on choosing the right grad school for me.”
PineapplePineapple
- Date posted
- 7y
@P: If you weren’t in a relationship, do you think your OCD would take a different form from ROCD? As in, if you didn’t have these fears, it would just latch onto something else?
PP
- Date posted
- 7y
@pineapple - my therapist said that happens. I remember her mentioning it. For the quiet times, it becomes a double edged sword. I’m peaceful being alone, but terribly lonely and miss the closeness of a relationship. I’d rather be with my bf than be free of the ocd but I honestly have to remind myself of that often. I’ve even tried breaking it off with him b/c I can’t deal with the ROCD uncertainty and am utterly convinced he’s cheating but those moments are becoming less frequent and when they do happen I am getting better at talking myself off that ledge. But it’s incredibly hard. A daily struggle.
VikaVika
- Date posted
- 7y
Thank you for the advice, I do need to work on acceptance.
PP
- Date posted
- 7y
Hi Vika, I struggle with the same questions - my ROCD would be quiet and life would be easier if I weren’t in a relationship, of course. I struggle with this almost daily. But when confronted with actually breaking up, I can never bring myself to do it. I remind myself that I love my boyfriend and being a slave to my ocd thoughts would not make me happy, but my boyfriend does.
PineapplePineapple
- Date posted
- 7y
Gotcha, was just curious. I have obsessions that have stayed pretty consistent from the time my OCD first started, but I also have had obsessions that have come and gone during the time I’ve had OCD... maybe when my main obsessions weren’t as strong. I’m not sure to be honest.
PP
- Date posted
- 7y
@Pineapple: I’ve had years where I’ve not been in a relationship and it doesn’t really “latch onto” anything else - I have a heavy dose of perfectionism that makes music/art tough for me but the ocd is strictly limited to ROCD (for better or worse)...
VikaVika
- Date posted
- 7y
That’s awesome!! I know the struggle, sometimes I get so fed up and resentful because of it but I know my relationship is worth it. My OCD wasn’t originally around my relationship but it morphed into it and now it’s my worst obsession
PP
- Date posted
- 7y
@Vika - my therapist (I love and hate her sometimes) once called me on my shit (or, rather - called my ocd on its shit) and said “ok if you are really convinced he’s cheating on you and you have the proof you need and you don’t want to date someone who’s cheating on you, pick up the phone RIGHT NOW and break up with him!” Haha I couldn’t do it. That’s how I knew/know it’s ocd. When faced with the hard reality, I think it’s often if not always possible to tell the difference.
LilyLily
- Date posted
- 7y
Do you see therapy for ocd?
Related posts
Ladybruh
- Date posted
- 23w
Help
I feel like my Rocd has become more sophisticated. It’s made me feel as if my healthy loving boyfriend is this terrible person. Or I’ll be thinking to myself like “I love him”, and in middle thought I get “no you don’t”. It’s convinced me that our values and beliefs are just TOO different (we’ve only disagreed on one thing in our relationship, but we talk it out). It’s like my ocd is clinging on to every reason why I should break up, like I don’t want this anymore, even tho I do! It’s frustrating. And the idea of doing erp terrifies me. Because I’m afraid if I do erp statements, that I’ll agree with them. Can someone give insight
WhoAmIReally
- Date posted
- 22w
I am not doing well. ROCD
I feel like I want to break up with my partner and go off and experience things like falling in love and butterflies and magic again. My partner is my home and my family and my rock and we’re compatible but sometimes it feels like I have these unfulfilled needs. And then ocd comes in and SCREAMS about these things and pulls me away from my partner. We’ve been together ten years. It says leave leave leave leave leave. And I feel like deep down I don’t want to stay. But I know love is a choice. How can I choose to stay when my body is screaming rub. I know I have ocd, and this is what ocd feels like, and I also have a lot of trauma regards to attachment. Am I being a coward??? Will this ever end?
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 17w
please read
Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth
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