Really really struggling with my ROCD today. I’ve been touring grad schools and I keep thinking if we broke up everything would be easier. How would I be able to differentiate actually wanting to break up from ocd?? I’m so stressed.

Vika I think something that helps me with ROCD is slowing down and letting life happen. Why does it help? By slowing down and accepting life- that may or may not work out like you think- you accept the uncertainty behind the thoughts more in your head. For example, imagine if you said: “I’m not sure what’s going to happen in my relationship, but I’ll accept that there is a lot of uncertainty and in the time being focus on choosing the right grad school for me.”

@P: If you weren’t in a relationship, do you think your OCD would take a different form from ROCD? As in, if you didn’t have these fears, it would just latch onto something else?

@pineapple - my therapist said that happens. I remember her mentioning it. For the quiet times, it becomes a double edged sword. I’m peaceful being alone, but terribly lonely and miss the closeness of a relationship. I’d rather be with my bf than be free of the ocd but I honestly have to remind myself of that often. I’ve even tried breaking it off with him b/c I can’t deal with the ROCD uncertainty and am utterly convinced he’s cheating but those moments are becoming less frequent and when they do happen I am getting better at talking myself off that ledge. But it’s incredibly hard. A daily struggle.

Thank you for the advice, I do need to work on acceptance.

Hi Vika, I struggle with the same questions - my ROCD would be quiet and life would be easier if I weren’t in a relationship, of course. I struggle with this almost daily. But when confronted with actually breaking up, I can never bring myself to do it. I remind myself that I love my boyfriend and being a slave to my ocd thoughts would not make me happy, but my boyfriend does.

Gotcha, was just curious. I have obsessions that have stayed pretty consistent from the time my OCD first started, but I also have had obsessions that have come and gone during the time I’ve had OCD... maybe when my main obsessions weren’t as strong. I’m not sure to be honest.

@Pineapple: I’ve had years where I’ve not been in a relationship and it doesn’t really “latch onto” anything else - I have a heavy dose of perfectionism that makes music/art tough for me but the ocd is strictly limited to ROCD (for better or worse)...

That’s awesome!! I know the struggle, sometimes I get so fed up and resentful because of it but I know my relationship is worth it. My OCD wasn’t originally around my relationship but it morphed into it and now it’s my worst obsession

@Vika - my therapist (I love and hate her sometimes) once called me on my shit (or, rather - called my ocd on its shit) and said “ok if you are really convinced he’s cheating on you and you have the proof you need and you don’t want to date someone who’s cheating on you, pick up the phone RIGHT NOW and break up with him!” Haha I couldn’t do it. That’s how I knew/know it’s ocd. When faced with the hard reality, I think it’s often if not always possible to tell the difference.

Do you see therapy for ocd?