Does anyone else suffer from ‘Real life events’ OCD? I constantly worry about things I did as a teenager (from ages 15-19) I wasn’t a very nice person and think I was quite a toxic girlfriend in my first relationship. I’m always terrified that people are going to find out and that I’m going to lose my job or something awful. I also think that a lot of people would be so shocked if they knew some of the things that I’d done, and that they would think so much less of me. I feel a constant need to confess or apologise, and wish more than anything that I could erase that whole chapter of my life. Previously in counselling, we looked at ‘black and white thinking’, and I managed to rationalise that everyone makes mistakes and nothing I did was that bad, but I have this horrible feeling that one day this will all catch up with me. Is this just genuine guilt and remorse or is this a symptom of OCD? Thanks in advance.

Yes, all my OCD themes stem from real life events. As I said yesterday, we all do crazy, questionable and disgusting things when we're young. Most people do and most people forget. We just have to figure out a way to live with it.

Yes, however all those methods are easy to suggest and hard to apply, unfortunately. I haven't figured out how to apply them yet. ?

Same thing happened to me violet I will obsess over past real events and feel a need to confess. I'll go weeks or months not even worried about it and laughing at it and then I'll start giving the thought more power and it comes back

Same here, I had to contact people and apologise for trivial things that were 25 years ago. I had to ring ex girlfriends to see if I treated them badly, (turns out I didn’t). I went through the twelve steps for recovery of this OCD theme (didn’t know it was OCD at the time), and made amends to anyone that I felt I had wronged. The need to do this was of utmost importance and the feeling of urgency/anxiety I had was crazy!

Thanks deputydean. What are the best ways you suggest? Is it the things like mindfulness, meditation and living in the present?

Sorry to hear that ? but think the important word there is ‘yet’. I found this article online about real life events OCD: http://www.ocdspecialists.com/real-event-ocd/ I suppose if you’re already quite clued up on it, perhaps reading it might be a kind of reassurance or compulsion (I’m trying hard not to reread it) - but it reiterates that idea that we have to live with the uncertainty. We may never know if by doing these things we’re actually ‘bad’ people, or if we’ll ever be ‘found out’, we just have to manage that uncertainty. It feels so odd because I got over this and got to a point where I had a year of almost laughing at myself and my former worries, and now it’s back, my brain is almost shocked that I was able to spend a year not worrying about these things or trying to correct them in my head!! I guess it all comes back to the amount of power we give a memory or thought. Nothing has actually changed during the time that’s passed, other than the fact I’m giving that thought more power now...

Sorry to hear that j289l, it’s so hard isn’t it. I just took myself to a workout class, and just kept trying to tell myself ‘I can’t ruminate if I’m struggling to breathe ? and focusing on the next dance step’. Not sure if distraction through exercise is always the best way but I’m hoping the serotonin boost will help things? Thanks for your messages guys, you’re all so inspiring.