anonk
- Date posted
- 6y
ρєαcнєѕρєαcнєѕ
- Date posted
- 6y
I know I always feel like deep down, I’m some kind of weird sicko. And the worst part is I believe it. I just wish I could look and a kid and see a kid and move on. I hate OCD
horchataweekendhorchataweekend
- Date posted
- 6y
i know it doesn’t make sense. but i feel like we just get so caught up into our heads. and we overthink things so much. it scares us. just remember you unwanted thoughts are not real and they dont define you. ocd is a pain in the ass. remember to breathe and to meditate
SoniclenSoniclen
- Date posted
- 6y
I feel you @isai. It’s always perplexing to me that the brain goes so haywire. @carrot a vulnerable self theme means areas where a person’s sense of self or identity can more easily be damaged or undermined. It’s not uncommon for pretty much every OCD sufferer to have had some dichotomous experiences in childhood, be it abuse, bullying, inconsistent parenting. Stuff that creates a conflict in your fundamental environments. This conflict becomes internalised and leads to a vulnerable self theme in key domains (sexuality, morality, scrupulosity). Doesn’t mean they have or do change, but you as a person or vulnerable to being influenced by others, or your own inner critic so to speak. We know there is no conflict but we feel one. And that often originated in childhood. So the increased need for control provides comfort even if it’s small magical beliefs. But an unstable environment means this childlike thinking hangs around more than it should, and it grows like the psychological cancer that it is. Until you hit life stressors like leaving home, starting college, your first job, major relationship breakup. Then the ‘ocd’ takes it’s mask off
carrotcarrot
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm struggling from the same. Honestly though it's extremely debilitating.. all I guess is it's HOW you respond. With this theme it's controversial. The right kind of CBT is needed
SoniclenSoniclen
- Date posted
- 6y
No. Your brain is just very aware. I’m getting there now and I’m bringing the pictures on. I’m fucking sick to death of being bullied! Problem for now is this latest bout has made me anxious during sex so struggle for ages to get a proper hard on even if I either let or even encourage the paedophilic imagery to be there. You gotta do the same. You’ll never find yourself again until you turn on the dragon and find you for yourself-not from constant reassurance gathering here on this app. I’m gonna use it once a day and wean myself off. I need to believe in myself, based on absolutely no one else’s input.
SoniclenSoniclen
- Date posted
- 6y
Never forget that at the heart of OCD is a vulnerable self theme in key domains. That is what needs to be challenged. And the work needs to be done to meet that challenge.
carrotcarrot
- Date posted
- 6y
What's a vulnerable self theme
isaiisai
- Date posted
- 6y
I totally get this, while my medication has been helping and I feel better I still can feel spikes with certain things and it’s not always but sometimes when I see pictures of kids I’ll spike and sometimes I won’t but I realized I can’t let this hold me back. It’s been really hard to be intimate with my boyfriend but I’ve pushed through recently a few times because I refuse to let it ruin my intimacy. It makes it hard for me to enjoy things but I’m trying, I try to focus on him and the moment. It’s also like it’s become like anything sexually. Like even adults being sexual triggers me? I’m just like what the hell there’s nothing wrong with THIS I think my brain just gets scared and wants to avoid anything sexual now.
Related posts
Shaodidi
- Date posted
- 25w
Pocd be feelin too real
I get thoughts of kids Whever I think or see an image of someone my age, like for example today I saw a bikini pic of a girl my age and it randomly reminded me of a pic of a kid in a bikini I saw a month ago, is this a sign of something bad? My thought usually come up when I think abt someone my age I’m into, and they also feel like I’m purposely thinking of them, I’m not sure if it intrusive thoughts or not, it feels difficult to figure out. These thoughts also don’t distress me anymore, idk if it means something bad or not, but I do not wish to be a pedo, I hope to eventually have a relationship with a girl my age. Alongside all of that, sometimes when I see a kid I get a sense of attraction, but I’m not sure if it is false or not, to me it feels so real, but I don’t wanna be attracted to kids. I’ve just started therapy, I’m currently trying to find a way to get a diagnosis, I really hope I’m not diagnosed as a pedo. Ik that false attraction comes with negative emotion, but I don’t feel negative emotion when I get what I hope is false attraction, I keep trying to figure out if what I’m feeling is false or true because I don’t feel negative emotions, it makes me worried that it’s real and that I really am a pedo. Not looking for reassurance but can someone tell me if these are pure o ocd symptoms or something actually bad?
caffelattino
- Date posted
- 25w
pocd?
I'm 21 and eventually I would like to have a child. I am terrified about the fact that I could have sexual thoughts about them... So now I am filled with intrusive thoughts. How should I respond to these? "So yes, what if I will have intrusive thoughts about that?" But im terrified because a normal person shouldnt think about even that at all. I am so scared. I cannot respond "what if" because this is too serious and it makes me so bad if i respond "what if"
happygirl15
- Date posted
- 22w
POCD/ Intrusive thoughts & Images
so I’ve been seeking therapy for my OCD for a few years. The theme that I’ve been dealing with most recently is the fear of becoming a pedophile, which then has led to intrusive images of me doing things to kids.Which now is just causing me so much distress and 24/7 constant thought cycle. I am starting to not be able to tell the difference between thoughts that are wanted/ unwanted- the line has become some blurry and these things are starting to feel like someothing i want to do. My brain keeps telling me to just test these thoughts and the “maybe”or”i don’t know” isn’t working. This has become such a barrier because the second layer is that I’m afraid that if I just let the thoughts be there it’ll make me be OK with doing those things and the fear is what’s keeping me from actually doing something inappropriate. It’s also transitioned into intrusive thoughts and images of me doing something very disgusting to my dog and that when I’m cuddling with him I get the thoughts to just do it or try it to see if i am actually a p*do. it’s almost like the compulsion would be to do the inappropriate thing, even though I know it’s wrong just to see how it would make me feel. I feel like i can’t control these urges even though i’ve never acted on it. At any point i could just do it. I’ve never had these thoughts before up until about a year and a half ago when my friend‘s boyfriend got arrested for soliciting a minor then all these thoughts came to life.Has anyone experienced something like this and have any advice?
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