DON’T GOOGLE! It will just give your OCD ideas. People survived before Google. All their worst fears didn’t come true just because they didn’t Google it. Even if you found that bit of reassurance, it will never be enough.

I used to have Harm OCD but ever since I watched that Black Mirror episode called “Shut Up and Dance” my obsession has been on POCD. For a long time I was petrified of typing “child porn” into google so I did a lot of avoiding. But then I started trying to get reassurance that nothing bad would pop up if you googled it anyway. I got so fed up with the thought that I ended up typing it in myself. I felt disgusted and guilty, and was naive enough to think I would at least no longer have to worry about typing that anymore. But then all these what ifs pooped up like “you didn’t check Bing, Twitter, Yahoo, etc”. So I ended up checking again to ensure myself that nothing would pop up. Then it got worse where I typed in some really disgusting things into google again because I just couldn’t handle the anxiety and uncertainty. I felt stupid every time and powerless. I managed to go about a week without checking but today an intrusive memory came back about a youtube link that had a questionable title in it when I google searched. So ended up going back and checked the video only to of course see that it was nothing horrible. I feel scared and paranoid. Like I have no control of myself. I hate this compulsion and I can’t love myself for doing all this. I’ve suffered from groinal responses and other sexual intrusive thoughts involving this theme but I just want someone to tell me I’m being paranoid. My mind won’t shut up about all this. It just wants me to keep checking and checking to make sure google is safe. How can I possibly love myself after all this? I don’t want this but the anxiety is unbearable and I can barely breathe. I didn’t think it would ever get this bad and it feels like even when I resist OCD wins anyway... or at least I hope it’s OCD.

Decided to Google my thoughts to see if anyone else had them and that’s the worst thing I could have done. All googling has done is make my anxiety worse. My therapist told me not to Google anything because it’s not helpful and I didn’t listen and now reading different things have made me scared. So learn from me guys, refrain from Googling your thoughts it doesn’t help.

Can someone give me advice on how to deal with a bad ocd day please. Last night I had a bit of a bad episode with ocd looking for reassurance on here and googling and the googling didn’t help which I should of know at the start..and I’m just dealing with the aftermath of anxiety.