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- 4y
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- 4y
Every day, it’s what it does to you. Makes you doubt things you know are true deep down. I do get it though sometimes you’d give anything to take this pain away but if you’re happy in your relationship and it’s not toxic etc then leaving will probably only make this feeling follow you around, it latches onto what you care about
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- 4y
Yeah I suppose that makes sense. I just don’t know if I am happy. I’ve never really been in a relationship before this one, so it’s hard to tell. I just can’t see how I’m going to feel better if I don’t get out, you know?
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@🌹 I experienced the same doubts you did, I felt miserable for months until I realised it was more about myself than my partner and that it wasn’t his job to make me happy and that happiness isn’t something that is permanently there it fluctuates and that’s really normal. My break up urges got so bad we ended up splitting up and my bad thoughts left but the sadness and realisation that it wasn’t him hit me very quickly, so we got back together. Have you spoken to your partner about it?
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@sophiewren I’m glad you’ve managed to make some progress!! I haven’t spoken to him about it. It’s very new to me, and I’ve not been able to speak to a therapist yet, so I wanted to make sure I had a handle on it before I worry him. I’m just not sure if he can help much, and therefore if it’s worth telling him?
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@sophiewren Oh my god. That's very true. I feel like I just cannot live on my own and make myself happy so I rely and demand too much from him. It's even unfair to do... High expectations ruin things
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@Daria Alexandrovna It is so common because when we are actually single for a period of time we rely on ourselves for our own happiness and then as soon as we get into a relationship we suddenly depend on someone else? I put so much pressure on him in a global pandemic to lift my moods especially! When his life was exactly the same and it was an unfair expectation
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It’s quite scary when it happens the first time, it really knocked me back and I felt paralysed. A dangerous trap I got into was relying so much on him to reassure me that we were okay and that they were just thoughts and I always had such an intrusive urge to explain everything that was going on in my head but that just feeds the cycle. I’m having my first ERP session tomorrow I’ll keep you posted on how it goes! There’s also some good Facebook groups you could join if you search ROCD you should be able to find them and work out what’s best to help you
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- 4y
Yeah it’s such a shock; it was all so overnight. I know I would rely on him too much as well, but I’m also conscious that I’m keeping quite a big thing from him. Good luck with your ERP, I’d love to hear how it goes :)
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Hi there! Glad to hear that I am not alone. My Compulsions are about basically spelling out alllll of the things he does wrong and that he is not my soulmate because I don’t “feel” it. I’m so lost at this point but I’m waiting to see if treatment helps before making any harsh decision and also because I Iove him and I love to our lives :(
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I am kinda feeling like I’m in the opposite boat. Like I really should leave my relationship but I can’t for some unknown reason. We both are in a weird situation where he keeps goading me to break up with him, like he wants to end the relationship but can’t bring himseld to actually break up with me so he wants me to do it for him. He has actually accused me of “hoarding him” because he knows I have a hoarding disorder (plus it’s kind of obvious even though it’s way more under control than it used to be). I was so offended when he said that but maybe it’s true?
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