- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Every day, it’s what it does to you. Makes you doubt things you know are true deep down. I do get it though sometimes you’d give anything to take this pain away but if you’re happy in your relationship and it’s not toxic etc then leaving will probably only make this feeling follow you around, it latches onto what you care about
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah I suppose that makes sense. I just don’t know if I am happy. I’ve never really been in a relationship before this one, so it’s hard to tell. I just can’t see how I’m going to feel better if I don’t get out, you know?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@🌹 I experienced the same doubts you did, I felt miserable for months until I realised it was more about myself than my partner and that it wasn’t his job to make me happy and that happiness isn’t something that is permanently there it fluctuates and that’s really normal. My break up urges got so bad we ended up splitting up and my bad thoughts left but the sadness and realisation that it wasn’t him hit me very quickly, so we got back together. Have you spoken to your partner about it?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@sophiewren I’m glad you’ve managed to make some progress!! I haven’t spoken to him about it. It’s very new to me, and I’ve not been able to speak to a therapist yet, so I wanted to make sure I had a handle on it before I worry him. I’m just not sure if he can help much, and therefore if it’s worth telling him?
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@sophiewren Oh my god. That's very true. I feel like I just cannot live on my own and make myself happy so I rely and demand too much from him. It's even unfair to do... High expectations ruin things
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Daria Alexandrovna It is so common because when we are actually single for a period of time we rely on ourselves for our own happiness and then as soon as we get into a relationship we suddenly depend on someone else? I put so much pressure on him in a global pandemic to lift my moods especially! When his life was exactly the same and it was an unfair expectation
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It’s quite scary when it happens the first time, it really knocked me back and I felt paralysed. A dangerous trap I got into was relying so much on him to reassure me that we were okay and that they were just thoughts and I always had such an intrusive urge to explain everything that was going on in my head but that just feeds the cycle. I’m having my first ERP session tomorrow I’ll keep you posted on how it goes! There’s also some good Facebook groups you could join if you search ROCD you should be able to find them and work out what’s best to help you
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Yeah it’s such a shock; it was all so overnight. I know I would rely on him too much as well, but I’m also conscious that I’m keeping quite a big thing from him. Good luck with your ERP, I’d love to hear how it goes :)
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Hi there! Glad to hear that I am not alone. My Compulsions are about basically spelling out alllll of the things he does wrong and that he is not my soulmate because I don’t “feel” it. I’m so lost at this point but I’m waiting to see if treatment helps before making any harsh decision and also because I Iove him and I love to our lives :(
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I am kinda feeling like I’m in the opposite boat. Like I really should leave my relationship but I can’t for some unknown reason. We both are in a weird situation where he keeps goading me to break up with him, like he wants to end the relationship but can’t bring himseld to actually break up with me so he wants me to do it for him. He has actually accused me of “hoarding him” because he knows I have a hoarding disorder (plus it’s kind of obvious even though it’s way more under control than it used to be). I was so offended when he said that but maybe it’s true?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
- Date posted
- 20w ago
I’ve been struggling with relationship OCD and differentiating between what is an intrusive thought and what is a real doubt. I was really happy with my partner then I got one aggressive thought that I didn’t love him and this spiralled into noticing all his flaws. I struggle being around him because I feel a huge sense of guilt that these thoughts even come into my head and I cannot figure out if this is my brain lying to me or this is how I feel. It’s really impacting a relationship that is so important to me.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
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