- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Every day, it’s what it does to you. Makes you doubt things you know are true deep down. I do get it though sometimes you’d give anything to take this pain away but if you’re happy in your relationship and it’s not toxic etc then leaving will probably only make this feeling follow you around, it latches onto what you care about
- Date posted
- 4y
Yeah I suppose that makes sense. I just don’t know if I am happy. I’ve never really been in a relationship before this one, so it’s hard to tell. I just can’t see how I’m going to feel better if I don’t get out, you know?
- Date posted
- 4y
@🌹 I experienced the same doubts you did, I felt miserable for months until I realised it was more about myself than my partner and that it wasn’t his job to make me happy and that happiness isn’t something that is permanently there it fluctuates and that’s really normal. My break up urges got so bad we ended up splitting up and my bad thoughts left but the sadness and realisation that it wasn’t him hit me very quickly, so we got back together. Have you spoken to your partner about it?
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- 4y
@sophiewren I’m glad you’ve managed to make some progress!! I haven’t spoken to him about it. It’s very new to me, and I’ve not been able to speak to a therapist yet, so I wanted to make sure I had a handle on it before I worry him. I’m just not sure if he can help much, and therefore if it’s worth telling him?
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- 4y
@sophiewren Oh my god. That's very true. I feel like I just cannot live on my own and make myself happy so I rely and demand too much from him. It's even unfair to do... High expectations ruin things
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- 4y
@Daria Alexandrovna It is so common because when we are actually single for a period of time we rely on ourselves for our own happiness and then as soon as we get into a relationship we suddenly depend on someone else? I put so much pressure on him in a global pandemic to lift my moods especially! When his life was exactly the same and it was an unfair expectation
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- 4y
It’s quite scary when it happens the first time, it really knocked me back and I felt paralysed. A dangerous trap I got into was relying so much on him to reassure me that we were okay and that they were just thoughts and I always had such an intrusive urge to explain everything that was going on in my head but that just feeds the cycle. I’m having my first ERP session tomorrow I’ll keep you posted on how it goes! There’s also some good Facebook groups you could join if you search ROCD you should be able to find them and work out what’s best to help you
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- 4y
Yeah it’s such a shock; it was all so overnight. I know I would rely on him too much as well, but I’m also conscious that I’m keeping quite a big thing from him. Good luck with your ERP, I’d love to hear how it goes :)
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi there! Glad to hear that I am not alone. My Compulsions are about basically spelling out alllll of the things he does wrong and that he is not my soulmate because I don’t “feel” it. I’m so lost at this point but I’m waiting to see if treatment helps before making any harsh decision and also because I Iove him and I love to our lives :(
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- 4y
I am kinda feeling like I’m in the opposite boat. Like I really should leave my relationship but I can’t for some unknown reason. We both are in a weird situation where he keeps goading me to break up with him, like he wants to end the relationship but can’t bring himseld to actually break up with me so he wants me to do it for him. He has actually accused me of “hoarding him” because he knows I have a hoarding disorder (plus it’s kind of obvious even though it’s way more under control than it used to be). I was so offended when he said that but maybe it’s true?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w
I am scared the relationship i am in is karmic and i am just scared like its for lessons as it matches with everything that is said..how do i know that it will work and the feeling of it not working with every fight weakening us more than strengthen cause we were never meant to be and should have called it off a while ago after the first few good times cause then we got attached and are dragging it? and i feel it just cant be like intuition wise and if intuition what else can be questioned cause if so and i know breakup not meant to be very different want different things cant change and dragging as i said above and if i know and feel it is not going to work no matter how much we try after fight cause we just are incompatible fundamentally then it is so and idk what we are doing as i feel numb and dissociated and sooner or later will break-up cause not meant to be and is just stretching cause of habit…and none of this is ocd but actually coming up from actual relationship problems so it cant be ocd but the wrong relationship…
- Date posted
- 14w
I feel like I shouldn’t be with my partner anymore, but I have no clear reason why. I feel sad every single day, I have a constant heaviness in my chest, I cry often, and I start arguments with him. I can’t remember the good memories. Everything feels distant, fake, or tainted. I don’t know why I love him — and all my thoughts tell me that I never truly did, that I only wanted to feel something, and now I finally see the truth. The worst part is that it all feels so real. I feel lost. I feel numb. I feel guilty. I can’t feel love right now, but some part of me still wants to hold on, still wants help. I don’t want to make any decisions right now. I just want to know I’m not alone. Has anyone else gone through this?
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- 14w
Everyday I wake up and start searching for reason to breakup with my partner. I feel utterly confused by relationships and dating. Not to mention, I’m autistic and this has always been a huge struggle for me. In fact, it led me to both diagnoses of ASD and OCD. I can see there are some things I am not happy with in my current relationship and I understand that, but when does it become too much? I started having limerence over a random person because my brain just wants an out so fast. I told myself that I wouldn’t until I get proper help (medication, constant erp therapy etc). Every time I think about breaking up I start sobbing and my body vehemently rejects it. Its really confusing and disorienting for me and cant trust a damn thought in me. I’m scared that I’m just taking him along for the ride and potentially will severely fuck him up emotionally because of this. I guess thats where I can feel the OCD. My fear of being a bad person and the people around me being bad people. I dont know if I need advice because I think this may be me searching for a compulsion to do. But I just want to get this out of my system. I have severe Disney-like unrealistic expectations sometimes. I had to maladaptive daydream all the time growing up to get out of my traumatic upbringing and brain (tbh). I still do. I am aware of that and try to put myself into check. I just cant stop comparing my friends own beautiful relationships to my own. Most of them are in the “engagement” stage of their relationships. Even though it’s ridiculous, all of them have worked on it for many years at this point.
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