Horrorgamer_35
- Date posted
- 4y
charissepisces2021charissepisc...
- Date posted
- 4y
I feel the same right now. I hate this. You aren't a punching bag though ❤.
Horrorgamer_35Horrorgamer_35
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m so done with it. I just want to have a normal life, like most people I know.
AnxiousaddieAnxiousaddie
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I don't think God is doing this to you. God isn't out to get us. We live in a fallen world and that means pain and suffering but God wants us to come near to Him in our hurt not push Him away. Its complicated and I am no expert but I am.here to talk more if you want ❤ you don't have to die
AnxiousaddieAnxiousaddie
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous There is nothing than can separate us from God's love (Romans 8:38-39) I don't fully understand God's goodness either but I do unerstand that he sent his son to die for me and that He says nothing can separate us from His love. Knowing that nothing can separate me from His love is all I have to hold onto sometimes with OCD. Sin can be forgiven. I don't know what you did but God forgave Paul (who was literally murdering Chrisitians) and He was an awesome disciple for Christ. I too have struggled in my OCD with God thinking Why? Why me? Why now? Why this? But I have come to learn that God did not just zap me with OCD. These things happen because of the fallen world I believe. God wants us to lean on Him in these times. If I didn't have OCD I would have never been able to share my faith with others with OCD and support them in their OCD journeys so in a weird way I am thankful for it. I have also learned to let God take the reigns of my life and the guilt and shame because I have no other choice sometimes. If you have any more questions or want any more verses I'm here, if you just want to rant or explain more about your OCD story, I will listen. You are not alone 🌟
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous That was amazing what you shared....your a true Christian.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous God bless you. I am a believer as well and I remember the first day when everything went down hill. The intrusive thought came in like a swarm of bees and I convinced myself I was hearing voices. If it wasn’t for Gods grace and mercy I wouldn’t have made it that day. Mom my called me out of nowhere and she tell something was wrong. I tried to hide it but my Mom knew something was wrong. God is so good and to this day I still struggle a lot with my mental health but it’s also help me to lean on God.❤️
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I had a similar post to this earlier but deleted it. I need to be careful what I say because I don't want to stress you out. I feel exactly like you do--- OCD is a terrible thing......I have to take my own advice on this as I think God is in control but it's the devil that trashes or tries to trash our lives-----I have had about 3 long talks with my mom in the last week and have been suicidal and I just know that we have to dig in to prayer and eat good and stay out of stress as much as possible....
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
It says in the bible what "Satan intends for evil God will work for good."........I know I am selfish and talking about my own pain but somehow I need to see this work for good...
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
I don't know...I don't know how to explain....your probably not supposed to go into detail but there is a chance it could be like a minor type of sexual assault doing something inappropriate and I was just checking---- I don't know I will spend half a day praying about it arguing with God if it was even a sin but when I just think about it there is no way it's probably not some type of sin. I talked to a therapist and she said it wasn't sexual assault on an animal but I don't think I believe her....my "intent" was not to harm and that is true....but there was some type of guilt either true or false guilt or both......I just can't believe in my lifetime that I did something that could be considered sexual assault even if it was an accident....I told my dad I am going to "hell" and he deciphered right that it has something to do with the cat so it is doubly embarrassing because my dad knows something happened and I bet in his mind he knows it is something weird/sexual so it's like God allowed my sin to be kind of public....God is chastising me.......its so embarrassing....its too much...
AnxiousaddieAnxiousaddie
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
The truth is I don't need to know what you did. God forgives all sin if we ask and believe in Jesus. We can't earn our way to heaven, Jesus payed for our sins. It may be you did something wrong or it may be your OCD messing with you as well, I don't know, either way God has grace for you: I know that. Also is your therapist trained in OCD? Perhaps you could ask her to do an ERP for this or to help you with these fears
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous I appreciate it.....I know I am being selfish but I have been battling OCD for a long time and tried my hardest to never cross a boundary but it's like I got complacent and thought I had more control over my OCD and something weird happened......my story isn't like a kid that didn't realize what they were doing......well I didn't realize the possible outcome I was a full adult...I am not even a young adult I am probably one of the older people on here. Maybe I am being proud but when your older there is a difference and I just can't accept what happened and I know I am being proud......I always say the Lords prayer in the morning and I knew I had sexual OCD issues and it was important for me not to act on them....I have been in OCD counseling before and something happened....it was a really awkward thing and I was nervous that I felt something in my groin...I had a coat and a flannel shirt there between me and the cat but something still kind of happened........I actually can see Gods grace for those that were teenagers and younger as it's different in a way if you did something weird when you were young. especially if your under 12....your right you can't earn Gods grace but there is just some things that shouldn't if your fully grown adult...I'm over 35...even older.....Real Event OCD is just brutal.
AnonymousAnonymous
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous even though I was complacent I knew I needed medication...my OCD got worse over the pandemic.
AnxiousaddieAnxiousaddie
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous I am so sorry you are in so much pain about this. I have experienced real event as well and it is brutal. Sorry I didn't respond sooner I fell asleep and forgot to reply. I don't know exactly what you have done or anything but I do know that God can forgive anyone of anything. I know there can still be shame and guilt with that I have felt it for my own mistakes but He didn't send his son saying he would die for only certain people or certain sins but ALL sins. I definitely would try an OCD therapist especially if you can find a Christian one. I have found my OCD therapist so helpful.
AnxiousaddieAnxiousaddie
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Anonymous And I am sorry you were denied meds. My OCD got to its worst over the pandemic too and I felt like I was going insane
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izenap
- Date posted
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...
i feel depressed. i’m so tired of living with constant guilt, fear, and pain. i feel so lost and lifeless. i feel like i’m not living for myself anymore. i'm so done with my life. i really hate myself. it’s all my fault. everything that goes wrong and everything that keeps happening to me is all my fault. i feel sorry for the people who have me in their lives. they don’t deserve someone like me. this world doesn’t deserve a person like me. i can’t do this anymore. every night, i keep crying. i just don’t want to wake up the next morning, yet i keep waking up. for me, another day is another suffering. i hate myself so much. i don’t deserve anything good. i hate my really bad and dark thoughts, and i can’t tell whether they are truly mine or not. the guilt is eating me alive, and i feel hopeless and undeserving of forgiveness. my family doesn’t know about my struggles, and i don’t want them to. i don’t want to be a burden or make them feel like they failed as parents. i don’t want to make their lives any harder. i just hate my religious ocd. sometimes i think i’m just making it an excuse. i feel sorry for God and Jesus for being this kind of person. i wish i wasn’t born into this world. i can’t continue living like this. i feel like i’m going insane. i’m just accepting that i’m horrible, and that all those bad thoughts are mine. that i'm disrespectful and a terrible person. i'm not suicidal. i’m just so tired of living like this. i'm not expecting happiness or anything good because i don’t deserve any of it. i feel like a disgusting person. i hate that someone like me still has the courage to show up every day around other people. i deserve all the pain and to drown in it. i just want to vent about what i really feel right now because it feels so heavy and unbearable. i don’t want to make others’ lives miserable or hurt God anymore.
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