- Username
- nohope123
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Please please don't take a pocket knife it's just going to make it worse. Eventually your OCD will convince you the knife isn't enough
This isn’t actually helpful. It’s a compulsion. And it’s a false method of protecting yourself from your obsession “coming true.” Are you seeing an ocd specialist? If not, it’s definitely time to. These extreme measures you’re taking are affecting your life. And through treatment, you can learn to deal with ocd without compulsions, manage the discomfort, and take more effective steps towards healing. What you’re doing, like all compulsions, only makes the obsessions worse and increases their power over time.
Tbh I wish I could afford a therapist . But If these extreme measures help me to atleast move my day I think It is worth it
@nohope123 It’s not worth it. It’s may make you feel better temporarily but in the long run your making your ocd so much worse.
@nohope123 i promise it won't help. maybe for a second you'll feel safer but it just puts a false narrative in your head that you should protect yourself. you have to sit with the uncertainty that these thoughts bring, that will make them less strong and take their power away
@nohope123 The therapy on this app is affordable and worth it 100%. It only costs me 50 dollars for every 1 hour session and $25 for the 30 minute ones (since I pay out of pocket and not through insurance) If you can afford this please book a call!
@Isabella Ya but this is not available outside us and uk
@nohope123 I’m sorry. Here are some resources for self treatment and symptom management. https://iocdf.org/expert-opinions/expert-opinion-self-directed-erp/ https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLRoIPZFFgHFj0Mk-qgDNYMOaDyjuaWP4Z https://youtu.be/7P9kvXIa7-0 I recommend using these techniques to help manage your symptoms. Don’t try any intense exposures before you are able to see a therapist. Hope this helps and good luck!
@Isabella Thankyou somuch I appreciate it
@nohope123 They aren’t actually helping you. They’re actually making your ocd worse over time. They help in the moment, temporarily, while simultaneously reinforcing your obsessions. Check out Beyond Borders CBT, they offer ocd treatment in a lot of countries: https://beyondborderscbt.com/ You can also look into online courses as an alternative: - CBT School: https://www.cbtschool.com/ - OCD and Anxiety Online: https://www.ocdandanxietyonline.com/ And you can get a workbook: - The Mindfulness Workbook for OCD: https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-mindfulness-workbook-for-ocd-a-guide-to-overcoming-obsessions-and-compulsions-using-mindfulness-and-cognitive-behavioral-therapy_jon-hershfield/9725959/ - The ACT Workbook for OCD: https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-mindfulness-and-acceptance-workbook-for-ocd-integrating-acceptance-and-commitment-therapy-and-exposure-and-response-prevention-to-live-well-with-obsessive-compulsive-disorder_marisa-t-mazza/23000486/
hey, please don't do this! that just fuels your thoughts more. you are not your thoughts!! you're obviously distressed by them showing that they're not your true values. however, if you were to carry a pocket knife then you would be fueling the thoughts by agreeing with them. and it's not about agreeing, it's about letting the thoughts flow and sitting with the uncertainty and not giving them any attention
sorry i worded that bad, i didn't mean that you'd agree with your thoughts in the sense that you're a pedophile, but just that you would pay more attention to them which makes them worse in the long run.
Hi everyone, this is probably going to be long, so sorry for that I need some assurance.. Im going mad I don't see a doctor in 15 years because I thought that whatever I end up having I get better or I just die, so I have no ideia If I have OCD. But you know what Im afraid.. Being a pedophile. Im 30, and a week ago I was living my normal life and suddenly out of nowhere I get a horrrible thought.. Hurting a child. I realize that and start thinking what the hell, why did that pop in my head? And start analyzing it over and over in my head and I began being overwhelmed with thoughts of hurting children, and I worried more and more, couldnt stop thinking about it.. I barely slept that night When I woke up, the thoughts slowly came back but worse, now it was sexual related.. And thats when my life truly became hell on earth. These thoughts/images were pretty much in mind all the time and anything would trigger, sometimes not even a trigger is needed, they just appear and get stuck in my head.. Like there was two me in my mind. And without realizing, I started doubting myself.. Will I ever hurt children? Am I evil? Am I.. a pedo? I started walking inside my house randomly when it gets really bad, shaking my feet or legs when sitting, and I check my penis all the time now.. I even compare the size it is and sometimes if its even 1cm longer, I panic and do it all over again.. mind you I never got an erection.. I even torture myself thinking about these thoughts just to check and it pains me, makes me feel physically sick even. These things are pretty much automatic, I do them without even realizing it sometimes. I argue with myself in my mind, i seek comfort in memories but they are somewhat changed making me doubt even more.. I avoid thinking about my niece that I love and miss so much, just so these horrific images/thoughts don't show her. My head feels so heavy, like its about to explode, I thought about killing myself, I avoid children, just the mere mention of one makes me anxious and worried.. What if Im really a pedo? What if I end up hurting children? What if? What if? Always what ifs.. But then I get the thought that I am a pedo and have to accept it and I argue with that thought trying to prove its wrong and the reasons.. And so on and on I don't even masturbate anymore with these thoughts popping in my head I never had these thoughts before, always loved women and their body and never had thoughts about children like that in my life. My life was always a mess, depression, backstabs from people I trusted, anti-social and social awkward, emptyness, and so on... But then my niece was born and she was like a light in that sent my hollowness away.. She is 7 and she is a part of my life since she was born, we are very close.. Im not even joking when I say that when she was little, she would cry if I had to leave, but she wouldn't if her dad or mom went away as long as she was with me.. she gave my life a meaning, made me feel like someone important in this world and I vowed to protect her at all costs.. And now I am afraid if she comes near me, I am afraid she will think I don't love her.. Its breaking my heart just thinking about it.. She is the most important person to me in the world.. And now I need to protect her.. From me.. I cry everyday, I cant find comfort anywhere, I argue with myself all the time, I feel a demon.. Or even worse than that.. I honestly just want it to end, I pray for that everyday.. I can honestly say that this is and will always be the worst thing that happened to me and Im 100% sure of it. This is hell on earth for me, I would rather be dead, crazy, a killer, whatever.. I dont know for how long I can endure this.. Its pretty hard, trust me.. I cant enjoy what little life I had before.. I just want to die, I even told God to just kill me cause I cant take it anymore.. And its been only one week of this.. Ever since my hell started, I do google searches regarding these thoughts everyday and try to find some comfort and yesterday I posted my situation on a YouTube video of a girl talking about POCD and I felt much better that night.. Like I was me again, didnt have any of these thoughts but I could hear a low voice in my head all the time saying that I should worry, are you a pedo? You are a pedo, etc.. But I ignored it and it was a relief.. I always thought my life before this was baby, but that night my previous life looked like the best thing ever.. I was so happy, I thought about my niece clearly without any random shit that my brains decides to pop added, I cried, I thanked god, I thought I was myself again.. But then I woke up.. And for a while these thoughts and images were trying to gain control but I stood strong for a while.. And now Im here.. I lost the battle.. So.. Can I have some kind of OCD or am I just a monster? Please be honest.. Cause if I end up being indeed a pedo, I will make sure I will never see my niece again, never be near kids or watch shows with them, I will tell my family about the monster I am and will seek castration or something. BTW, like yesterday, talking about it is making me feel better.
I've got a horrible urge to search up CP and I don't know what to do. It feels like I really want to do it. I can't tell if I want to do it but it's telling me I want to and that I'll like it and I'll never enjoy anything again until I do it. How do I prevent myself from doing it, is this is a sign of ocd and how can I distract? I'm scared I'm a pedo but I'm perhaps more scared that this thought won't go unless I do it or that I'll do it because of ocd and then go to jail.
Constantly struggling with the thought of "Am I a pedophile?" I have never harmed a child but have had horrible thoughts. Where's the line? If I have to ask does that mean I am one? Feeling suicidal and in need of support.
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