- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
It's alright.. it was all in the past and what matters is that you want to be good and don't want to bully
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t think you did anything wrong. Even if you were a bully it doesn’t mean anything about who you are today
- Date posted
- 6y
all of it is over now and no matter how much you try, you can’t change what happened. but, you’re intentions were good because you thought you were doing right by trying to save animals which is a good thing. a bully is someone who thrives by making others hurt, and obviously you don’t seem to be happy with what happened between you and the kid. so in my opinion, i don’t think that makes you a bully.
- Date posted
- 6y
It totally matters if you had a younger mind. Kids do things they later regret because their thinking changes.
- Date posted
- 6y
I believe your intention was good. Bullies don’t have good intentions.
- Date posted
- 6y
Definitely reassurance. I too will keep asking til my mind accept the “correct” answer. No you weren’t bullying him, you just needed to know for sure to calm your mind. He was probably upset because you kept asking him because I’m pretty sure you asked many times. I experience this many times and people get annoyed. Then after I get my correct answer I’m okay. Reassuring does make everything worse because you will try and use it every time.
- Date posted
- 6y
I didn’t mean it in a bad way, @Tum98. I just thought I’d tell you because seeking reassurance that you’re not actually a bully will make your problem worse. That’s giving in to the compulsion. We all do that every once in a while and it’s normal (we’re just human), but the more you can just accept those terrible feelings without looking for reassurance, the faster you’ll recover.
- Date posted
- 6y
Okay, I get it. Sometimes it’s hard not to look for reassurance. I’ve been there. I wish you the best ?
- Date posted
- 6y
Yeah it is hard I definitely understand what your saying I’m not trying to come across mean or what ever sorry if you felt that way and thankyou
- Date posted
- 6y
Dude no you’re 100% justified in yelling at someone if you know they mistreat animals. That doesn’t make you a bully at all!
- Date posted
- 6y
I just feel so bad I would never want to be a bully ?
- Date posted
- 6y
But does it mean I was a bully
- Date posted
- 6y
So it didn’t make me a bully
- Date posted
- 6y
I think I just feel bad incase he felt like I was being a bully I think he just got sick of me asking him questions and it’s making me think did he go home and cry and then I’m thinking did he run home it’s all just in my head
- Date posted
- 6y
Thankyou I’m not known to be a horrible nasty person I’m known to be loving caring and always put others first I think that’s why it bothers me so much
- Date posted
- 6y
You’re looking for reassurance. That will make your ocd worse.
- Date posted
- 6y
I needed help so I reached out.
- Date posted
- 6y
I understand where your both coming from but it’s like it never goes it will then badger me for months I just needed some help I know about reassurance and how it’s not helpful in the long run but sometimes I just need a bit of help
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w
When I was a child 7-10, I had this wonderful dog. I loved him so much. However sometimes, I would hit him out of either anger or because I liked the way he would lick my hand to say 'sorry'. At age 13, my OCD sparked up badly. I had no idea what it was, but I would bully him. Badly. He was never hurt, but he was agitated. Then I found some kittens and saved them just after turning 14. I let them stay in my room with me for a few weeks to help them. One very early morning, however, they raged me so bad that I began hitting them nonstop. They didn't cry, nor do run away. Hell, all of my pets were never ever scared of me. They loved me for some reason. For so long I've been doing my best to help animals and adore my pets, and I've sworn to never EVER hurt an animal again. I love them so much. I remember though I would never hit them so hard to make them cry out, because I've been inflicting the way I hit them onto my arms and thighs to see how bad it hurt, and gladly, it didn't really hurt. Stung a bit, at most, but doesn't make what I did anymore okay. Do I deserve my babies anymore? Do I deserve to even live? I feel so ashamed and I don't want to use my OCD as an excuse, nor say that maybe I was traumatised because of it because people have been through worse than me, so I don't want to compare. Any small comment will do, thank you for reading
- Young adults with OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Real Events OCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Harm OCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Date posted
- 11w
When I was around 19-20 I believe I showed my then 8-9 cousin crude pictures (e.g a cartoon image of a butt). I don’t know how many times I did this but I believe I was trying to be predatory by giving me control over her (not sexual just the feeling of wanting control)and also cuz I thought it was funny. For some reason this didn’t really start bothering me until now (I’m now 22). I don’t have any desire to hurt children. I’m scared by what I feel I’ve done. Should I go to the police?
- Date posted
- 7w
I have a dear friend of mine who happens to be fat, and no shame in that, I just like to tease him because he's a bit shy, but it's playful not disrespectful. Like I used to tap his belly as a joke, i stopped that though. One day I was messing around with him and I thought it would be funny, because he was fat, to act like a creep and reach out with my hands with the grabbing motion as a joke, and I think I playfully pinched his man boobs (I don't really remember but I suppose and it's very probable that I did that). I wasn't really thinking much abt it, for me his man boobs were the same as touching his belly: funny, neutral and harmless. But I tried to pinch myself and I didn't like it, i think it feels violating and I'm afraid that's how he really felt. It was a joke and I didnt really put much thought to it when I did that as I didn't have ill intent, but I still made him uncomfortable, I'm afraid he actually felt molested and that I did SA. well he did say he felt molested but not in a very serious tone, but more like a midly uncomfortable awkward tone, like "pause, don't do that", and i was ok, but it didnt cross my mind until much later. i didnt mean it to make him feel that way, it was something fun like a tease, so for that I apologised much later when i realised it and the guilt was eating me, and then he said not to worry abt it. but it doesnt that change that i made him feel molested, i think it's because he's too nice. even though it was a joke. i take it as a lesson not to cross boundaries that have not been set yet, to be careful in the future to do physical touches as a joke, even though it might be normalized in the friend group. I hope it's just that and not something more serious like SA because I really didnt mean it that way, like im not even gay, but still. there wasnt much intention, but more like an impulsive joke that resulted inappropriate without me realising. Even though man boobs are not a se&ual body part I still should have not done that. One day I put an arm around him nothing weird and he told me he was uncomfortable with physical touch, so from then I understood where he was coming from. So I respected his wish and I stopped having physical contact with him entirely. Now lately I've been overwhelmed with a big guilt and a lot of anxiety over what I did that day. I stopped with the fat jokes and just started being more thoughtful with my approach as a friend, just giving him advices, but without trying to make him change anything or making him feel bad abt himself or give unwarranted critics as I did before. We kept being good friends despite that awkward event, and he probably forgot it and it doesn't weigh to him as much as it does for me for what I did. After some time when I was overwhelmed with guilt after realising what I did despite not having bad or se&ual intention, I apologised profusely for what I did that day and he was very chill and told me "relax, don't worry abt it, really". We went to the movies together and I bought him a nice present for his birthday that he appreciated a lot. He regularly talks with me without any problems, he supports me etc... I still feel guilt. I can't let this one go and I'm sure that you guys agree what I did was very wrong and I agree. Nothing changed, we're good friends. But I feel like I commited SA. It's a guilt that I can't let go and probably shouldnt. I feel ashamed. Even though I try to reassure myself because we have the same circle of friends and they touch me inappropriately all the time as a gay joke and they do that between themselves and do not think much abt it, and one time my same friend did laugh in the car when my other friend kept touching me inappropriately as a joke. I don't know. I don't ask for reassurance and forgiveness. I'm not the type of person to self-absolve his own sins. Recently I asked him abt it again and he didn't remember and preferred not to talk abt it. He mentioned to me that another friend, which I dislike because he's a creep, saw him and squeezed his chest and you could he didn't like that at all; i don't think he did it lightly, knowing that guy i think he did it hardly. Now I'm obsessing that if I actually did it, if I did it hard, which i didnt think so. There was no se&ual intention, and i dont think he perceived that action as se&ual, but i think it could be that such physical touch made him feel violated, because a friend of mine one day came behind to me and squeezed my butt and chest and i felt violated. So it could be the same. I think the only way I'm going to free myself from this is asking him abt it again, how can I present that question in a discrete way?
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