- Username
- Faye June
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Are you seeing a therapist?
You may be feeling a little gloomy because of the weather and seasons changing. Change can always throw people with ocd off balance and make their anxiety worsen which leads to some depressive times. No one hates you! That’s just your ocd trying to bring you down. I would talk to your therapist if you have one to see if your anxiety is relating to your depression. I feel like I have depression but I don’t feel gloomy all year round. Only at sometimes. Just know that it will pass and it won’t last forever ❤️
Hi Lilly. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I felt basically identical feelings about a year ago. I told everyone in my family I decided I was going to start taking depression medication because I literally could not handle it anymore. But my mom who has her own phobias is terrified of medication and got me all freaked out so I started looking more into OCD which I knew I had but didn’t know how much it was affecting. Everything has changed since then. I did not take medication, I met with a therapist only twice, and did everything else with the help of one book, a couple apps, and research. I did have great support from my boyfriend (now fiancé) and a good friend who has OCD but I still can’t believe how much better I’m feeling just a year later and I’m telling you this because I promise you can too! I’m going to follow up with a long post that I actually just shared on the community and I really hope it helps. Feel free to ask me any questions in regards to it all.
EXTRA RESOURCES THAT HELPED ME I’ve had OCD my whole life and it’s changed over and over from contamination to sexual orientation to relationship. Most of my life it was contamination and “just right” stuff, but after going through a massive existential crisis, I started getting all kinds of uncontrollable thoughts. It got to the point where I actually didn’t think I could ever get better. Every day, I was waiting for someone in my family to tell me they were taking me to an institution and I expected I would be there forever. This was roughly from the end of 2017 through 2020 with some “okay” months thrown in. But one day last spring I decided I wanted to live a “normal” life. And here’s everything that got me there. First, I LOVE this video on intrusive thoughts. This guy is amazing and he breaks down what an OCD brain feels like in such a simple and understandable way: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=laeYq51SYA0 Next, an OCD therapist told me about the book “Freedom from OCD” by Jonathan Grayson. I only met with this therapist twice because the book is what changed everything for me. One of my best friends also has OCD and just telling her parts of the book helped her. Also just a note, I had seen a cognitive behavioral therapist and an art therapist before her and therapy MAY work for you but if, like me, it doesn’t (or you can’t afford it), there are still ways to get yourself out of your OCD prison. Another resource that really helped me (and I still use when I feel OCD trying to push through) is the GGOCD app. It’s so easy and seems like no work at all but will literally change the thoughts in your head or at least give you the power to change them. There is a general GGOCD app and then a specific GGRO app for relationship OCD. I used both daily for only a couple of days before I started noticing changes in my thinking. OCD podcasts are also super helpful to learn how multiple people have gotten better because honestly it seems different for everyone. Try “OCD Stories” or “Your Anxiety Toolkit”. I’ve also read only pages of this ebook: https://7c6cb58d-d959-49fd-9965-36a82fbeca9e.filesusr.com/ugd/f87cc1_d1904df30a1d4beba1c0eee6084c257d.pdf but just the description of the concept at the beginning had a big impact on me and my friend with OCD is the one who recommended it and said every word is like “medicine.” You’ll hear from different people that ERP isn’t the only way. It may be the best way for you, but you may find something else that works better. I’ve been learning so much over the last year and I can finally confidently say I’m overcoming my OCD. I got engaged last October and I was worried OCD would ruin it but I just booked my wedding and feel more control each and every day. I can think about pregnancy without a panic attack. I can hear the word cancer without breaking down and I can challenge my brain for the first time I can remember. I tried ERP (self-guided through the book) a few times and I think it helped me in the beginning but then started making me feel like I had to hate a part of myself. That’s just my feelings and you might feel different but for me a podcast from an OCD therapist that actually HAD ocd said he didn’t think ERP was good and actually just works on helping his clients (successfully) stop ruminating by helping them learn to “do nothing”. It’s hard but it’s not impossible, and for a lot of us, I think it’s not even as hard as we are told it is from people or therapists who haven’t experienced it. Wishing you peace, health and happiness ✌️
@Nocd4nicole Thank you so much for posting this! I can’t wait to read that link you posted and watch that YouTube video. I’ll definitely be looking into the book you recommended on here as well☺️
@LuLaBelle95! Yay! I’m so glad you’ll be taking a look at it all and I hope it helps you too! Your motivation is amazing 🙌☺️
@Nocd4nicole Thank you so much for all of this, I will look into all of it! Honestly - I’m very well versed on OCD, and I do often listen to that podcast etc, but I don’t know whether my OCD is necessarily intertwined with my depression. But I will 100% look into all of those, I’ll book mark it. Thank you so much for going out of your way, that is so kind of you❤️
@Lilly Oh gotcha! Yeah mental health can be so messy and confusing. 🤔 I hope any of the new resources can help in some way! Sending healing thoughts!
@Nocd4nicole I’ve already downloaded the app and the ebook!! App has been super helpful so far. I think some people are so hellbent on ERP (which is valid because it’s the most proven and effective treatment out there for OCD) but you can still treat other underlying issues that will illiviate your OCD. I only developed OCD after the pandemic - I know - people have it for their whole lives, but I just didn’t. I notice that when I’m in a happy and healthy space, I don’t have OCD!
@Lilly That’s so great Lilly! 🥳 And I think a lot of people with OCD (even their whole life like me) feel that way too - like when things are good, it’s all good! But when things are bad, it’s all bad 🙁 Interesting you made the point about “treating underlying issues” because even ERP is about getting at the actual underlying fear. You probably know that already lol but yeah I agree there’s other ways to address the fears and handle them without building up immense anxiety to do so. I do yoga and just started meditating too which helps so much. But I suppose it does all depend on personality types and what people are willing and able to do. OCD is definitely not simple haha.
@Nocd4nicole Yeah!! When I say other ‘underlying issues’, I’m just referring to anxiet, etc. ERP does remove most of your OCD, but the first step is to minimise your anxiety so that you can approach ERP in a stable way, as it’s tough. ERP has helped with one of my other themes, but school stopped me from going the full mile - but, it definitely works. But as I say, treating anxiety (be it with medication or other methods) should be a first step for people prior to ERP! That’s all I’m sayinf 💕
@Lilly Totally agree with you!
I’ve never had an official diagnosis but I’m in a miserable place right now. I experience terrible anxiety (usually pass out whenever I have a panic attack) but what has been bothering me is this overwhelming sense of guilt. I keep ruminating over conversations and events, so much so that I feel ashamed of everything I’ve said or done. Moreover, every time I hear, watch or read something even remotely related to a less than positive experience in my life, I feel overcome with fear and tend to escape into this make-believe world where an idealized version of myself articulately clarifies whatever I’ve said or done. All this has reached a point where I feel racked with guilt even about the few things I might’ve achieved or the happy times I’ve had in the past: can’t help but think that the only reason I experienced them is because I had the comfort and opportunities to do so (I feel like I’ve robbed someone else of their chances because I haven’t earned any of this). I’ve started feeling like I lack a moral compass, and my thoughts are torturing me. Every time I overcome one intrusive thought, another come rushes in and so forth. It’s like I want to remain miserable. I posted it here because I’ve been trying to figure out what this isn’t and from whatever I’ve read so far, the symptoms seem most like ocd. I’m planning to go to a therapist soon but feel terrified about sharing all this!
How do I know when it’s time to call a crisis line? Or seek help? Has anybody actually been hospitalized for OCD? I’ve been crying everyday and I can’t stop worrying about everything and looking up stuff online and reading for hours a day about everything I think about. When I read things that confirm my suspicions I freak out and start shaking a little or jerking. But if I read things that confirm that I’m going to be okay, I start thinking of every single reason why it’s not going to be okay, and how could you ever think it’s going to be okay. I am not managing my life very well. I feel guilty about everything. I keep telling myself that I don’t deserve happiness and I don’t deserve food or nice things and I feel incredibly guilty every time I do something for myself like make food and I convince myself that it means I am the worst person and eating food when others can’t or don’t have food. And then I get sick and nauseous and anxious. I constantly have worries about my health and I’m constantly reading stuff online. I think I have schizophrenia sometimes cause of the voices I hear something when I’m stressed. So I spend so much time on forums looking for people who have disorder and comparing my experiences to theirs and then I keep thinking I’m faking symptoms for attention and can just stop doing things but then I do them again and I hate it. I am having a ton of false memories about what is real. I feel like the world is floaty and unreal. I just want this to stop.
Hey, just looking for some none-OCD advice, as at the moment I don’t really have anyone to talk to. I’m gonna try and keep it short, so I don’t bore you! So, I’m from England, and I’m 16. At 16 in the UK, you go from high school to 6th form, where you spend two years doing something called your ‘A levels’, and then you go to university at 18, like all countries. I’ve been in college for 8 months now, but I’d say 65-70% of my time has been spent online - so I’ve only had a relatively small amount of time to make true friends. I had solid friends throughout high school, and I say I tilt quite a lot towards being an extravert. Ever since coming to 6th form, a lot of the people who I was friends with, went to a different school, and some of the people who were acquaintances I barely see now, because the school is so large. Basically, since coming to college I only have 2 true friends, and one of those has basically separated herself from me (she’s a bit of a bitch, but that’s another story - we’ve basically been best friends since we were 4 but she routinely ditches me) I’ve found that no one ever messages me anymore. I’ve got plans to go to the city with me and 3 other girls next Sunday - but I organised it. They were all excited, but I’ve only been invited out once by one of my other friends. I just feel like no one likes me, and that I’m repulsive to people - I know it’s irrational, but the fear that I’m just unlikeable terrifies me, as I want nothing more than a big group of friends and that’s not what I have at the minute. I’m desperate for someone to be like “hey, Ellie do you wanna come and sit with us”, but they don’t. And I’m usually just sat with one of my close friends, who I love. She’s popular, and people like her more than me but she’s self-admittedly introverted and I’m not. Ugh, this is long now. But does anyone have any advice? I’ve made a lot of acquaintances, but they all have their own friendship groups from high school - but I don’t because a lot of my friends went to a different school. I’m miserable because of this at the moment, and I feel worthless.
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