- Date posted
- 4y
- Date posted
- 4y
Are you seeing a therapist?
- Date posted
- 4y
You may be feeling a little gloomy because of the weather and seasons changing. Change can always throw people with ocd off balance and make their anxiety worsen which leads to some depressive times. No one hates you! That’s just your ocd trying to bring you down. I would talk to your therapist if you have one to see if your anxiety is relating to your depression. I feel like I have depression but I don’t feel gloomy all year round. Only at sometimes. Just know that it will pass and it won’t last forever ❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Hi Lilly. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. I felt basically identical feelings about a year ago. I told everyone in my family I decided I was going to start taking depression medication because I literally could not handle it anymore. But my mom who has her own phobias is terrified of medication and got me all freaked out so I started looking more into OCD which I knew I had but didn’t know how much it was affecting. Everything has changed since then. I did not take medication, I met with a therapist only twice, and did everything else with the help of one book, a couple apps, and research. I did have great support from my boyfriend (now fiancé) and a good friend who has OCD but I still can’t believe how much better I’m feeling just a year later and I’m telling you this because I promise you can too! I’m going to follow up with a long post that I actually just shared on the community and I really hope it helps. Feel free to ask me any questions in regards to it all.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
EXTRA RESOURCES THAT HELPED ME I’ve had OCD my whole life and it’s changed over and over from contamination to sexual orientation to relationship. Most of my life it was contamination and “just right” stuff, but after going through a massive existential crisis, I started getting all kinds of uncontrollable thoughts. It got to the point where I actually didn’t think I could ever get better. Every day, I was waiting for someone in my family to tell me they were taking me to an institution and I expected I would be there forever. This was roughly from the end of 2017 through 2020 with some “okay” months thrown in. But one day last spring I decided I wanted to live a “normal” life. And here’s everything that got me there. First, I LOVE this video on intrusive thoughts. This guy is amazing and he breaks down what an OCD brain feels like in such a simple and understandable way: https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=laeYq51SYA0 Next, an OCD therapist told me about the book “Freedom from OCD” by Jonathan Grayson. I only met with this therapist twice because the book is what changed everything for me. One of my best friends also has OCD and just telling her parts of the book helped her. Also just a note, I had seen a cognitive behavioral therapist and an art therapist before her and therapy MAY work for you but if, like me, it doesn’t (or you can’t afford it), there are still ways to get yourself out of your OCD prison. Another resource that really helped me (and I still use when I feel OCD trying to push through) is the GGOCD app. It’s so easy and seems like no work at all but will literally change the thoughts in your head or at least give you the power to change them. There is a general GGOCD app and then a specific GGRO app for relationship OCD. I used both daily for only a couple of days before I started noticing changes in my thinking. OCD podcasts are also super helpful to learn how multiple people have gotten better because honestly it seems different for everyone. Try “OCD Stories” or “Your Anxiety Toolkit”. I’ve also read only pages of this ebook: https://7c6cb58d-d959-49fd-9965-36a82fbeca9e.filesusr.com/ugd/f87cc1_d1904df30a1d4beba1c0eee6084c257d.pdf but just the description of the concept at the beginning had a big impact on me and my friend with OCD is the one who recommended it and said every word is like “medicine.” You’ll hear from different people that ERP isn’t the only way. It may be the best way for you, but you may find something else that works better. I’ve been learning so much over the last year and I can finally confidently say I’m overcoming my OCD. I got engaged last October and I was worried OCD would ruin it but I just booked my wedding and feel more control each and every day. I can think about pregnancy without a panic attack. I can hear the word cancer without breaking down and I can challenge my brain for the first time I can remember. I tried ERP (self-guided through the book) a few times and I think it helped me in the beginning but then started making me feel like I had to hate a part of myself. That’s just my feelings and you might feel different but for me a podcast from an OCD therapist that actually HAD ocd said he didn’t think ERP was good and actually just works on helping his clients (successfully) stop ruminating by helping them learn to “do nothing”. It’s hard but it’s not impossible, and for a lot of us, I think it’s not even as hard as we are told it is from people or therapists who haven’t experienced it. Wishing you peace, health and happiness ✌️
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nocd4nicole Thank you so much for posting this! I can’t wait to read that link you posted and watch that YouTube video. I’ll definitely be looking into the book you recommended on here as well☺️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@LuLaBelle95! Yay! I’m so glad you’ll be taking a look at it all and I hope it helps you too! Your motivation is amazing 🙌☺️
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nocd4nicole Thank you so much for all of this, I will look into all of it! Honestly - I’m very well versed on OCD, and I do often listen to that podcast etc, but I don’t know whether my OCD is necessarily intertwined with my depression. But I will 100% look into all of those, I’ll book mark it. Thank you so much for going out of your way, that is so kind of you❤️
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lilly Oh gotcha! Yeah mental health can be so messy and confusing. 🤔 I hope any of the new resources can help in some way! Sending healing thoughts!
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nocd4nicole I’ve already downloaded the app and the ebook!! App has been super helpful so far. I think some people are so hellbent on ERP (which is valid because it’s the most proven and effective treatment out there for OCD) but you can still treat other underlying issues that will illiviate your OCD. I only developed OCD after the pandemic - I know - people have it for their whole lives, but I just didn’t. I notice that when I’m in a happy and healthy space, I don’t have OCD!
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lilly That’s so great Lilly! 🥳 And I think a lot of people with OCD (even their whole life like me) feel that way too - like when things are good, it’s all good! But when things are bad, it’s all bad 🙁 Interesting you made the point about “treating underlying issues” because even ERP is about getting at the actual underlying fear. You probably know that already lol but yeah I agree there’s other ways to address the fears and handle them without building up immense anxiety to do so. I do yoga and just started meditating too which helps so much. But I suppose it does all depend on personality types and what people are willing and able to do. OCD is definitely not simple haha.
- Date posted
- 4y
@Nocd4nicole Yeah!! When I say other ‘underlying issues’, I’m just referring to anxiet, etc. ERP does remove most of your OCD, but the first step is to minimise your anxiety so that you can approach ERP in a stable way, as it’s tough. ERP has helped with one of my other themes, but school stopped me from going the full mile - but, it definitely works. But as I say, treating anxiety (be it with medication or other methods) should be a first step for people prior to ERP! That’s all I’m sayinf 💕
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
@Lilly Totally agree with you!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 22w
This isn’t OCD related so I’m sorry, but I don’t know another platform like this where I can talk to other people and actually get responses. OCD has been a huge fucking setback for me in life. I had to drop classes, wasn’t able to do things, and just felt so shitty all the time because of it. I feel like I blame OCD for everything I’m not. I constantly feel like I’m not good enough. Just today I saw someone I once knew and felt all of those feelings I used to have that made me miserable. Anyways, I tried taking my driver’s test a couple days ago but I wasn’t able to. The DMV only accepted cash. I felt upset but it was whatever. I’m almost 19, and I don’t have a driver’s license. So passing it would mean a lot to me. I compare myself to others my age; they have cars, hobbies, friends, go to college, etc… I don’t have any of that. Maybe comparing myself and all of that is my fault. My family says it’s my fault I’m sad because I just wallow in it. Hearing them say that makes me frustrated and hurt, but maybe they’re right. My mom texted a couple of my siblings in a group chat I wasn’t a part of, “He wants to wallow and be depressed. And woe is me, wah wah wah.” That made me really angry because my siblings were agreeing with her. Maybe they are right. Maybe I am selfish and think the world revolves around me. My sister tells me I need to advocate for myself more, I just don’t want to be a burden. I’ve only been a burden my whole life. My OCD created this whole issue in my family and I hate that. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want an answer. Am I really a loser? Do I really wallow in it? Am I not trying like my family says? I just want to talk to someone.
- Date posted
- 15w
Hello all, I don’t have insurance at the moment (lost eligibility due to me making more money, but not enough to afford medication and visits) and have been struggling a LOT. When I was going to therapy, I was diagnosed with Bipolar 2 Disorder. I never got to expand on other mental health concerns I had and it bothers me that I can’t receive the proper advice that I need. If this is not allowed, I completely understand (and you may delete) but I figured I’d give this app a shot to get some clarification and knowledge on the topic. I experience MANY intrusive thoughts that destabilize my relationships and daily mood. I always pitched it to be my B2D symptoms, but the more I read into OCD or rather, Relationship OCD, I feel connected to others’ experiences. My boyfriend has been cheated on in the past—to such a bad degree, that it can be hard for him to trust me. I have never been cheated on nor have I ever thought cheating was okay, but I experience nearly daily intrusive thoughts that I am a horrible partner. Even worse yet, the intrusive thoughts often include overanalyzing my body language and making myself believe that I am somehow presenting myself in a way that would make men “like” me and therefore convincing my boyfriend that I am or will cheat on him if given the chance. It gets so bad that when my boyfriend questions an interaction I have with a dude, I freeze and become so panicked that I feel as though I am “giving away” that I did something wrong—even though I didn’t do anything at all. I am fiercely loyal to people in my life and could never imagine hurting anyone, so the very thought that I could “potentially” do this gnaws away at my social comfortability and self-confidence. I always feel as though I’m a horrible person and I am constantly trying to “make up” for something I didn’t even do. I’ll cry myself to sleep ruminating on every detail of the moment I had these thoughts or when I spoke to my boyfriend about it. It just haunts my thoughts honestly and makes socializing impossible nearly all the time. Eye contact has been a huge problem for me lately even—as if eye contact seals the deal on me being an “unfaithful” partner. Or laughing! Because if I show any sort of interest in the conversation—no matter how respectful and short it is—I believe it’ll spiral into my boyfriend leaving me (which is completely ridiculous and not true!) It’s almost like imposter syndrome in a way—because I feel as though no amount of reassurance or truth that I am a kind, loyal girlfriend, I will eventually ruin it anyway so I don’t deserve respect or affirmations. And it’s not even just with my boyfriend. Friends I have lost in the past clutter my mind as well. I have constant guilt and regret over potentially being a horrible friend despite how hard I fought/fight to keep that person in my life. Honestly, it gets to a point now where I’m convinced I will mess up any form of relationship I have eventually so I suppress my feelings or thoughts that could potentially upset people or make them question if I am really valuable in their life (often I can feel detached from people while being physically present with them because I get so lost in my head about what-ifs or where to look or if I’m causing someone to feel uncomfortable or that what they are or I’m saying isn’t satisfying the “ideal” friendship) . I let people walk all over me, deal with uncomfortable settings to avoid conflict and struggle to assert myself or have any sense of who I truly am with other people. It has put such a strain on me and my relationships, especially my best friend and my boyfriend and I’s relationships—which hold highest priority in my life at the moment. It can be hard to “let go” of people because it’s just another person who I have failed—including my own family members whom have definitely given reason for me to be not close with them. I also struggle with perfectionism and order during “stressful” situations, to the point where I will put myself into an anxiety episode over the simplest changes, unexpected accidents or things not going to plan. Again, this could very well be a symptom of Bipolar, but it truly causes me to blow situations WAY out of proportion and convince myself that I will never resolve it or make things better unless I can set it exactly how it was supposed to be in my head. The executive dysfunction is real on that one…To some, it could be procrastination. Or even just my cycles rapidly changing. But it affects my outlook on most things—financial matters, relationships, responsibilities, hygiene, cleaning. I can go from having complete confidence in doing something, to being doubtful that I could even get myself to get out of bed because I know I won’t do what I need/want to do. Sometimes I’ll even elaborately plan a course of action the day before and then when the time comes to do it, I lose control of my will to do it due to my intrusive thoughts. I do NOT expect anyone to “diagnose” me and I’m not sway the audience into agreeing with me in any way. I truly only want to hear your experiences, and if you also struggle to differentiate if you’ve been properly diagnosed or have overlapping symptoms that you can relate in some way. I want to better understand OCD and possibly connect with people who have had the same experiences. I appreciate any feedback—as long as it’s beneficial to this discussion and helping anyone else who struggle with the same thoughts—or even struggling to identify yourself or afford treatment! I just am curious, and honestly needed to have a platform to express some deep stuff I haven’t really discussed with anyone else besides my boyfriend. Thank yall for reading/listening regardless!
- Date posted
- 11w
Lately I just feel like I’m on the verge of losing it and I don’t know why. I feel so uncomfortable in my own body. Physically and mentally. Not due to insecurity but just that something isn’t right… I never feel good, I’m always fatigued, my head hurts all the time, but my blood work comes back fine so doctor’s will do nothing. I have anxiety and panic attacks and recently I guess depression since I’m always down. I have relationship OCD so my partner deals with me not being sure of him constantly and it breaks my heart. I don’t want to leave him because he’s great but half the time my brain is telling me he isn’t the one. I keep counting as well, constantly counting every letter in every word and every word in every sentence… it just feels like I’m gonna go insane one of these days and I’m scared. When I talk to someone about this, they have no clue what to tell me or how to help. Am I alone in feeling this way??
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