My bf of 6 years accidentally said I have big beautiful brown eyes, while on the phone with me, but I have green eyes. He said it was just a mistake, instead of say big beautiful eyes and brown hair he mixed them it it just slipped out and felt really bad about it but I’m really triggered now. we had a long talk and I feel I trust him but anyone else in the world would say it’s a red flag. And I get why. So I keep thinking about what others may think and that they are right even though I know him more than others. And I have no one to talk to about this.

I thought I was doing so well. But then my partner accidentally & unknowingly triggered me by jokingly saying about himself that “he’s pretty ugly anyways.” My thought of thinking he looks ugly sometimes is the main thing my ocd revolves around. Now I feel like I SHOULD be distressed over this thought after him jokingly saying this. Ugh

Yesterday something happened with my partner and I can’t stop thinking about it, even though it’s technically “resolved.” We were listening to music and he was singing along to a song that had the word “hoes” in it (like in the offensive way, referring to women). I told him that I didn’t like him singing that part. He first said that the word wasn’t even in the song. We rewound it – and it was in there. What triggered me wasn’t even the lyric itself, but his reaction. When I said something like “Oh, I must’ve misheard,” he didn’t say anything. No “Yeah, maybe” or “Oh no, you were right” – just silence. That moment really stuck with me. To me, it felt like he knew it was in the song but didn’t want to admit it. I also doubt his honesty because of that silence. It’s like my brain says: “If he were being honest, he would’ve just confirmed it.” Later on, he explained that he didn’t really notice what he was singing, and he hadn’t been paying attention to that part. So technically, we talked about it. But my brain won’t let go of that one moment where he stayed silent. Now I feel this strong urge to bring it up again, just to “make sure” nothing was hidden or dishonest – but I don’t want to, because I’ve already brought up similar things before and I know it’s hard on him. I feel stuck between: “Something’s off, you should talk about it again.” and “It’s your OCD, let it go.” Does this sound like ROCD to you? Or is it reasonable to be upset about this? Has anyone experienced something like this – where a small moment of silence or weird reaction makes your brain spiral?

Hi all. I’m writing this because I can’t stop spiraling and I don’t know who to talk to without feeling judged. I (27F) have OCD, so emotional safety and perceived red flags are something I hyper-analyze. My boyfriend (24M) and I are in a long-distance relationship, Im just on vacation right now . We’ve had our ups and downs, but overall, it’s a loving connection. That’s why this particular moment is bothering me so much. Last night, we were on a video call, flirting. At one point I said, “Go to the bathroom first,” before things got more intimate (he has a roommate and wanted privacy). After a few minutes, he came back and said, “Okay I’m alone.” But I hesitated. I was acting playfully shy and holding back. That’s when he said something like, “You said if I went to the bathroom, you’d show me something. This isn’t my (my name)—she’s not shy with me.” He said it smiling, and I was smiling too, but later it started to gnaw at me. My OCD kicked in. I started spiraling: Did that cross a line? Was that pressuring? I brought it up to him, and while he tried to be supportive, I could tell he was caught off guard. He said something like, “I’m trying my best to support you, but I feel sad that you would think I’d ever pressure you like that.” And then, in what he admitted later was a “dumb joke,” he said: “I’m not like your dad—I won’t get mad if you say no or disagree with something.” (For context: I’ve told him before about my father’s anger issues from my childhood. It’s a very sensitive topic.) I got upset and told him never to bring my father into things like that. He immediately apologized and said, “I realized it right after—that the thing I said as a joke to get you out of overthinking was serious. I’m so sorry again, and I feel really bad right now. I respect you and I respect everyone in your family.” After that, he was very gentle. We stayed on the call for a while longer, I felt heard, and we ended things with “I love you.” But today I still feel emotionally sore. Not because I think he’s abusive or manipulative—he isn’t—but because I felt something shift. He saw me cry like that for the first time, and now I feel exposed and over-analytical. My OCD brain is stuck on what if this was a red flag? Even though he apologized and explained himself, I still feel unsettled. What’s making it harder is that I haven’t even told my best friend. I usually tell her everything, but I’m scared to bring this up. I know she already has reservations about him (she’s very protective of me), and I feel like if I share this, she’ll just add it to the “reasons he’s not right for you” list. But I don’t want her judgment—I want clarity. I’m scared that sharing it will make things worse instead of better, and that’s an isolating feeling. I want this relationship to work. I don’t usually cry like that in front of people. I don’t usually feel safe enough to. And he did show up in the end. But now I don’t know how to trust myself—is this a moment to work through together, or am I ignoring something important? Would love some kind, grounded perspective. Thanks for reading.