artsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Grace_McLGrace_McL
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’m completely scared of anything to do with it heck I cringe when I read the word, I understand somewhat. Try to remember it isint an order it is ocd it is an intrusive thought that isn’t true.
HebiHebi
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you so much, we got this❤️
Maban Maban
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I have been slowly reading articles, just exposing myself and not avoiding it. I’m actually watching a documentary about a writer (who dies by suicide) and I have been trying my best not to do any compulsions! I’m sitting here and sitting through the anxiety. Also, if there is anything that triggers you - knives, belts, pills - just making sure you try and use those things in exposure!
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
When you say reading articles , would this be checking or is this something your therapist told you to do ? Curious about this. It seems like very few people have this and it’s been really hard to deal with.
Grace_McLGrace_McL
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Mine is about other peoples mental state if that makes any sort of sense, I think about my friends with severe depression and then I think about knives and how one moment they were ok and then the next they were self harming so now I avoid things like that I won’t watch and I can’t bear to listen to anything my friends talk about that involves it like the other day they were talking about the show 13 reasons why and I started crying.
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
This does make sense although it isn’t what I have. You obviously really love the people you care about. Definitely begin working with a therapist on this so you don’t avoid and let it spiral.
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Also, my therapist said that it doesn’t have to be “what if” statements but they can also come in form of commands too- that’s ocd trying to scare you.
lovelove
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I also have suicidal ocd and idk how to approach erp, I was thinking about maybe watching a movie with it in it but I’m too scared. I’m having a hard time coping with the thoughts tn :(
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’d definitely work with a therapist. I’m starting extremely small and wrote the word suicide on a notecard and have been carrying it in my pocket. It actually gives me a lot of anxiety. I’m hoping this helps bc this is so very difficult to live with.
kodabear1024kodabear1024
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@artsygirl - that was my first step of ERP straight from Dr. Phillipson's office in NYC. TRIGGER: So I did the note card, had the word su;;;;; on it, looked at it 9-12 times daily for a week and then it didn't do much for me, then I moved up the hierarchy ladder, Aaron Harvey's story from Made of Millions and how he wanted to commit sui'''' BECAUSE of his OCD/HARM-O, Until he found out what is actually was. Now I'm on my next stage... which is the hardest of them all.
HebiHebi
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I wanted to ask you something...I have suicidal OCD too, I can't afford a therapist, but I know what I have to do in order to be ok. One of my triggers was to pronounce or to hear the word: "suicide" (idk if any of you can relate), I feel like if I say the word itself I will definitely kill myself (like, in an obligatory way, where I can't chose whether to act or not, since, it is an "order"), If I only hear it then I feel like having an urge to kill myself (but not in an obligatory way). So you can imagine what my ERP would probably be, to pronounce the word "suicide" and to listen many time the word itself, and I decided to act on, on my own. I was out of my balcony and I was talking with a friend of mine of depression, suicidal ideation and so on, and when I was about to pronounce the word "suicide" i felt a lot of anxiety, but I decided to ignore it, and to pronounce it the same, but as I did I got so triggerd, that my OCD would change form: instead of coming at me as a question "what if?" As always, now it would come at me as an order, and that's order is to kill myself. OCD took my trigger as a form to come with. Idk what to do, could you possibly help me by giving some advice? Thank you
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Ambra, I absolutely understand what you are going through. My suicidal ocd used to say “why don’t you kill yourself” but lately has morphed into “kill yourself.” I was so upset and the anxiety was causing such distress. I decided I HAD to do something even small to help because it was making me so depressed I thought this may get to the point that I want to do something. So, I wrote the word suicide on a notecard and it’s in my pocket. It gives me a lot of anxiety but sometimes I forget it’s there. It’s a beginning exposure you can do with almost any word.
HebiHebi
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@artsygirl Thank you so much for your precious help, really appreciated ❤️
kodabear1024kodabear1024
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@artsygirl - "I decided I HAD to do something even small to help because it was making me so depressed I thought this may get to the point that I want to do something." < so that was a great trigger.
Related posts
cows12465
- Date posted
- 24w ago
Advice please!! needed
The theme i struggle with most is suicidal OCD. And with September being “national suicide awareness month”, My anxiety is sky high. i’m back in my spiral. I’m back with the panic attacks. My mind keeps comparing itself to all of these people and now i’m convinced i want too or i have these symptoms and im next. i’m freaking myself out and idk what to do. I get scared i have suicidal ideation when i know i don’t because i would never ever actually kms nor hurt myself in anyway. Does anyone know how to comercome this??? I just got out of my spiral not even 1 months ago and im scared im going deeper this time. My mind is all over the place scared im actually going to do it when i know im not and i feel like i have to go to the hospital or something idk what to do.
blueberrybush3
- Date posted
- 23w ago
anyone with ocd knowledge can help me?
i would like some advice please and i didn't get any responses 😭.. apologies for reposting but just need some thoughts on this 🥲 //// after frustrations with erp not working, i intentionally brought up the intrusive mental images as well as sensations during an exposure in trying to practice desensitizing myself to them. but now im scared that me purposefully bringing on the images and especially the disturbing outward sensations means that i did something bad or acted on my thought since i took the action to purposefully create and bring the disturbing intrusive images and thoughts and feelings. now it feels like not just a fear but reality. and my anxiety levels are just too much. i'm just feeling terrible and would like some thoughts or support
cows12465
- Date posted
- 11w ago
please advice please!!!!
I feel like there’s no way out of this. everyday i’m anxious and depressed from these thoughts. i feel like i have to constantly question if it’s OCD or not. the panic attacks are insane and i freak out. and a compulsion i have is looking eveything up on the internet when im stressing to know that it’s just my OCD and im not in danger. but looking things up add on to my thoughts and i start thinking “what if” actual suidcal people think. do others with this theme whenever they do something like if im taking a picture it’ll be like “yeah you look happy people will wonder what happened when your gone” LIKE i DO NOT want to end my life. or even as simple as cleaning my room, “yup keep it clean so when your family goes through your stuff” then i panic and can’t even do anything. those thoughts distress me so bad. i’ll sit there and think how good my life is or when im having a good day my thoughts will be like “NOPEEE what if your just saying that to convince yourself” it never shuts up and genuinely makes me think i have SI or something. i hope this reaches the right people just to know im not alone. Even when i do get better in the back of my mind it’s always “people who want to are the same a day before too” im genuinely scared and im scared one day im going to just snap and do it because its “too much” do i need to go to a mental hospital! i feel insane.
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond