artsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Grace_McLGrace_McL
- Date posted
- 4y
I’m completely scared of anything to do with it heck I cringe when I read the word, I understand somewhat. Try to remember it isint an order it is ocd it is an intrusive thought that isn’t true.
HebiHebi
- Date posted
- 4y
Thank you so much, we got this❤️
Maban Maban
- Date posted
- 4y
I have been slowly reading articles, just exposing myself and not avoiding it. I’m actually watching a documentary about a writer (who dies by suicide) and I have been trying my best not to do any compulsions! I’m sitting here and sitting through the anxiety. Also, if there is anything that triggers you - knives, belts, pills - just making sure you try and use those things in exposure!
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
When you say reading articles , would this be checking or is this something your therapist told you to do ? Curious about this. It seems like very few people have this and it’s been really hard to deal with.
Grace_McLGrace_McL
- Date posted
- 4y
Mine is about other peoples mental state if that makes any sort of sense, I think about my friends with severe depression and then I think about knives and how one moment they were ok and then the next they were self harming so now I avoid things like that I won’t watch and I can’t bear to listen to anything my friends talk about that involves it like the other day they were talking about the show 13 reasons why and I started crying.
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
This does make sense although it isn’t what I have. You obviously really love the people you care about. Definitely begin working with a therapist on this so you don’t avoid and let it spiral.
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Also, my therapist said that it doesn’t have to be “what if” statements but they can also come in form of commands too- that’s ocd trying to scare you.
lovelove
- Date posted
- 4y
I also have suicidal ocd and idk how to approach erp, I was thinking about maybe watching a movie with it in it but I’m too scared. I’m having a hard time coping with the thoughts tn :(
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
I’d definitely work with a therapist. I’m starting extremely small and wrote the word suicide on a notecard and have been carrying it in my pocket. It actually gives me a lot of anxiety. I’m hoping this helps bc this is so very difficult to live with.
kodabear1024kodabear1024
- Date posted
- 3y
@artsygirl - that was my first step of ERP straight from Dr. Phillipson's office in NYC. TRIGGER: So I did the note card, had the word su;;;;; on it, looked at it 9-12 times daily for a week and then it didn't do much for me, then I moved up the hierarchy ladder, Aaron Harvey's story from Made of Millions and how he wanted to commit sui'''' BECAUSE of his OCD/HARM-O, Until he found out what is actually was. Now I'm on my next stage... which is the hardest of them all.
HebiHebi
- Date posted
- 4y
I wanted to ask you something...I have suicidal OCD too, I can't afford a therapist, but I know what I have to do in order to be ok. One of my triggers was to pronounce or to hear the word: "suicide" (idk if any of you can relate), I feel like if I say the word itself I will definitely kill myself (like, in an obligatory way, where I can't chose whether to act or not, since, it is an "order"), If I only hear it then I feel like having an urge to kill myself (but not in an obligatory way). So you can imagine what my ERP would probably be, to pronounce the word "suicide" and to listen many time the word itself, and I decided to act on, on my own. I was out of my balcony and I was talking with a friend of mine of depression, suicidal ideation and so on, and when I was about to pronounce the word "suicide" i felt a lot of anxiety, but I decided to ignore it, and to pronounce it the same, but as I did I got so triggerd, that my OCD would change form: instead of coming at me as a question "what if?" As always, now it would come at me as an order, and that's order is to kill myself. OCD took my trigger as a form to come with. Idk what to do, could you possibly help me by giving some advice? Thank you
artsygirlartsygirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y
Ambra, I absolutely understand what you are going through. My suicidal ocd used to say “why don’t you kill yourself” but lately has morphed into “kill yourself.” I was so upset and the anxiety was causing such distress. I decided I HAD to do something even small to help because it was making me so depressed I thought this may get to the point that I want to do something. So, I wrote the word suicide on a notecard and it’s in my pocket. It gives me a lot of anxiety but sometimes I forget it’s there. It’s a beginning exposure you can do with almost any word.
HebiHebi
- Date posted
- 4y
@artsygirl Thank you so much for your precious help, really appreciated ❤️
kodabear1024kodabear1024
- Date posted
- 3y
@artsygirl - "I decided I HAD to do something even small to help because it was making me so depressed I thought this may get to the point that I want to do something." < so that was a great trigger.
Related posts
cows12465
- Date posted
- 25w
suic. ocd tips
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cows12465
- Date posted
- 25w
suic. ocd advice?
so I need to get back into ERP, but it’s so hard to manage these thoughts and learn to deal with them. like I swear my mind has to make everything about it. Like every time I clean my room, my mind’s like yup make sure it’s clean so when your parents find you, or something so stupid like if I get a headache, my mind convinces me that I like the pain and that that’s why I get my thoughts because I actually want to do it. It’s so exhausting. Because I know I would never want to take my life and I treasure my life so why does it do it to me? It’s hard to comprehend the fact of these thoughts too because I don’t know many people with this exact theme. It’s such a scary feeling. And I’m constantly questioning whether I have actual depression or if it’s just my OCD. Yes I have been diagnosed with suicidal OCD, but my mind still tries to convince me otherwise. I just don’t know how to let these just sit and pass without panicking.
Leo_Massie
- Date posted
- 23w
Constant intrusive thoughts about ending it (TW)
Starting in high school, I became very suicidal, and it became my “safety net” of all went wrong. I know it’s dark, but I was in a really bad head space and I saw suicide as my escape if I couldn’t fix my life. It got to the point where I was constantly thinking about suicide (literally every day, multiple times a day). Over the last year, I’ve gotten better and I think about it less. But then my OCD grabbed hold of it…. Now, if I do something wrong or embarrassing or if I struggle in a social situation (which is often 😅), my mind says “kys”, “jump off a bridge”, and so on. It’s like an automatic response with my OCD and it makes me so uncomfortable… I’m trying to get better. I don’t want to die. Sure, I still get pretty low, but I always push the thoughts away now instead of welcoming them like I used to. But with the intrusive thoughts being nearly constant now, it’s kind of scary. I dont know what to do to make them stop since the intrusive thoughts are just so automatic at the slightest feeling of discomfort. I have a therapist, but I dont know how to bring this up with her. I’m too nervous to even admit to suicidal thoughts, not to mention the intrusive thoughts they’ve turned into. It kind of feels like it’ll never go away.
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