Tw: Anyone out there go through Suicidal ocd ERP? Mind mentioning some of your erp that you did with an ocd therapist ?! Anyone out there who has suicidal ocd have tips for dealing with intrusive thoughts ?

I’m completely scared of anything to do with it heck I cringe when I read the word, I understand somewhat. Try to remember it isint an order it is ocd it is an intrusive thought that isn’t true.

I have been slowly reading articles, just exposing myself and not avoiding it. I’m actually watching a documentary about a writer (who dies by suicide) and I have been trying my best not to do any compulsions! I’m sitting here and sitting through the anxiety. Also, if there is anything that triggers you - knives, belts, pills - just making sure you try and use those things in exposure!

Mine is about other peoples mental state if that makes any sort of sense, I think about my friends with severe depression and then I think about knives and how one moment they were ok and then the next they were self harming so now I avoid things like that I won’t watch and I can’t bear to listen to anything my friends talk about that involves it like the other day they were talking about the show 13 reasons why and I started crying.

Also, my therapist said that it doesn’t have to be “what if” statements but they can also come in form of commands too- that’s ocd trying to scare you.

I also have suicidal ocd and idk how to approach erp, I was thinking about maybe watching a movie with it in it but I’m too scared. I’m having a hard time coping with the thoughts tn :(

I wanted to ask you something...I have suicidal OCD too, I can't afford a therapist, but I know what I have to do in order to be ok. One of my triggers was to pronounce or to hear the word: "suicide" (idk if any of you can relate), I feel like if I say the word itself I will definitely kill myself (like, in an obligatory way, where I can't chose whether to act or not, since, it is an "order"), If I only hear it then I feel like having an urge to kill myself (but not in an obligatory way). So you can imagine what my ERP would probably be, to pronounce the word "suicide" and to listen many time the word itself, and I decided to act on, on my own. I was out of my balcony and I was talking with a friend of mine of depression, suicidal ideation and so on, and when I was about to pronounce the word "suicide" i felt a lot of anxiety, but I decided to ignore it, and to pronounce it the same, but as I did I got so triggerd, that my OCD would change form: instead of coming at me as a question "what if?" As always, now it would come at me as an order, and that's order is to kill myself. OCD took my trigger as a form to come with. Idk what to do, could you possibly help me by giving some advice? Thank you