- Date posted
- 4y ago
- Date posted
- 4y ago
There’s a difference between struggling with uncertainty all of your life and having a sudden influx of intrusive thoughts. I’m a lesbian and although I dealt with uncertainty/anxiety about my sexuality, it wasn’t because I wasn’t sure if I was gay or not. I knew from a very early age. Just like most gay people do. Accept the fact that you may be a lesbian in the future. Allow yourself to feel all the bad things that come with that and then go on with your day. The thoughts will be less scary after you let them be there without resistance
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thank you for sharing this was super insightful
- Date posted
- 4y ago
You’re not alone! It was triggering, just because I have soo much anxiety about lying to my boyfriend and not knowing and sometimes feeling like I am a lesbian because of all the thoughts! Even when he said he knew something was different, ocd said “you did too! That’s why you never wanted anyone to think you were a lesbian because you got aroused by lesbian sex via porn and so on” but I decided not to go further into figuring it out and living with the uncertainty! Try not to compare, it’s a tricky compulsion that we all fall into sometimes!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
@Ope Omg same!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
This was so triggering for me! I wanted to look up his story to find differences from mine and provide reassurance by comparing. I pretty much did neither! But my heart is still in my throat haha. I’m going to look at this news, say “that’s a possibility “ and make myself a good meal haha
- Date posted
- 4y ago
That’s perfect!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
good job!!! Unintentional erp !
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I literally came on here looking to see if anyone else was triggered by this cos it made me so scared. We must not look for reassurance and how he ‘knew something was different when he was six’ as that is a compulsion, finding differences between that and yourself as reassurance. I’m struggling with it but you have to think yeah this happens, it could happen to me, it also could not and try and leave it. Easier said than done, trust me I know.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Exactly!!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
yes, exactly! ty
- Date posted
- 4y ago
I was so triggered by this today as well! I ended up feeling so anxious that I used the interview as ERP and watched it several times until my anxiety went down. You are definitely not alone! ❤️
- Date posted
- 4y ago
It got me this morning. First thing I saw when I got on Facebook. Love that journey for him but not for me. Hocd sucks. Because I'll get lost in thoughts and it seems so real but once I snap back to reality I don't want to be with a woman like that at all then I start to freak out. It didn't that with pocd for about a year.
- Date posted
- 4y ago
yep, I feel you 100%. It sucks so much. I’m so sorry 😓 you aren’t alone!!!!
- Date posted
- 4y ago
Thanks!
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 9w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
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