I just read this post about Colin Underwood the ex Bachelor star & ex NFL player coming out as gay, and in the article it said “he lived with this uncertainty about his sexuality for a while before coming to terms with his sexuality.” Lol this rly triggered me, as the whole point in our recovery is living with uncertainty. I don’t want to live w uncertainty to one day find out I’m truly lesbian and have been lying to everyone & myself :/ :( I guess he probably did not have OCD, and in the article it said he knew “something was different” by the age of 6. I guess I’m just overthinking but 😭 it sent my anxiety through the roof

There’s a difference between struggling with uncertainty all of your life and having a sudden influx of intrusive thoughts. I’m a lesbian and although I dealt with uncertainty/anxiety about my sexuality, it wasn’t because I wasn’t sure if I was gay or not. I knew from a very early age. Just like most gay people do. Accept the fact that you may be a lesbian in the future. Allow yourself to feel all the bad things that come with that and then go on with your day. The thoughts will be less scary after you let them be there without resistance

You’re not alone! It was triggering, just because I have soo much anxiety about lying to my boyfriend and not knowing and sometimes feeling like I am a lesbian because of all the thoughts! Even when he said he knew something was different, ocd said “you did too! That’s why you never wanted anyone to think you were a lesbian because you got aroused by lesbian sex via porn and so on” but I decided not to go further into figuring it out and living with the uncertainty! Try not to compare, it’s a tricky compulsion that we all fall into sometimes!

This was so triggering for me! I wanted to look up his story to find differences from mine and provide reassurance by comparing. I pretty much did neither! But my heart is still in my throat haha. I’m going to look at this news, say “that’s a possibility “ and make myself a good meal haha

I literally came on here looking to see if anyone else was triggered by this cos it made me so scared. We must not look for reassurance and how he ‘knew something was different when he was six’ as that is a compulsion, finding differences between that and yourself as reassurance. I’m struggling with it but you have to think yeah this happens, it could happen to me, it also could not and try and leave it. Easier said than done, trust me I know.

I was so triggered by this today as well! I ended up feeling so anxious that I used the interview as ERP and watched it several times until my anxiety went down. You are definitely not alone! ❤️

It got me this morning. First thing I saw when I got on Facebook. Love that journey for him but not for me. Hocd sucks. Because I'll get lost in thoughts and it seems so real but once I snap back to reality I don't want to be with a woman like that at all then I start to freak out. It didn't that with pocd for about a year.

Thanks!