It stops me from doing whatever I want to ... It tells me that if you do this thing I will destroy you with horribly feelings ...So I trust it and do nothing all day but cry... I have tried once to fight it I did the thing I wanted but it was right ... It started to destroy me with those heavy feelings ... I feel that nothing can work for me ... I am desperate

I think you should do what you want and ignore those horrible feelings that ocd makes you feel. Even after those feelings continue your life, i know it may be difficult, but try ignoring them to get out of that cycle,

I struggled with this as well and I still do sometimes. It was really disturbing and frustrating. I can understand how unsettling it must be for you right now.

Do you know how to fight it because I can stand it anymore I am trying to avoid but I feel worse

It was hard for me to fight it as well. It got better when I started therapy, though. I was afraid to go against the intrusive thoughts on my own, but when my therapist told me that it was ok to do that and that I should most definatley do that, I started to feel more brave in doing what the thoughts told me not to. I don’t know if this helps you at all and I’m sorry I don’t have better advice for you. But I think that you should know that no matter what ocd tells you, it’s ok to go against it, it’s ok to take that leap of faith and get your life back because you don’t deserve to be controlled by your intrusive thoughts.

I can't find the right therapist they don't undnerstand Thank you for the help

I’m sorry to hear that. I also had a bad experience with a therapist recently so I can imagine how unpleasant it must be for you. Have you considered trying signing up for the support groups organized by NOCD? Maybe talking it out and receiving empathy and support verbally might help? I’m really sorry you’re going through this and I hope that things will somehow change for the better as soon as possible.

I can't have access because it isn't available in my country

Oh, I understood that while therapy is not available in countries outside the US, the groups are open regardless of the country you live in. But I can be mistaken 🤔

Yes this is true

Actually if you check the message thread for the announcement of the community groups, it’s stated than anyone can join regardless of where they are.

What are these community groups sorry for bothering