It stops me from doing whatever I want to ... It tells me that if you do this thing I will destroy you with horribly feelings ...So I trust it and do nothing all day but cry... I have tried once to fight it I did the thing I wanted but it was right ... It started to destroy me with those heavy feelings ... I feel that nothing can work for me ... I am desperate

For 3 days I had a feeling that came up pretty often and I cant name it, I dont know what is it and the more i try to see what is it the more i feel worse. Usually letting feeling be and letting yourself experience it helps but not with this. I find myself feel grumpier, triggered and more angry. Its a mix of fear, but then i get angry too and I dont find letting myself experience it helpful cause I just stuck there. It feels like its in my chest and when it gets triggered it makes things hard to enjoy. I tried to be kind with myself and see what causes it but trying to be kind with myself triggers this annoying feeling and it just gets worse... i dont know what helps thats why i ask your help, if you ever experienced this... also i what i almlst forgot to mention, what is really important is that i became really sensitive to every thought, and any thought can trigger this feeling or any thought can trigger a negative feeling that will trigger this feeling. And honestly the "just accept it and let yourself feel what you feel" doesnt helps here cause i find myself really angry that i have to let myself feel the emotions that are triggered by these intrusive thoughts...

so its been three days now its it really bad, Im trying to just "tolerate and allow the feelings to be here for as long as it wants," not fixing it, not figuring it out, just allowing it to be a cloud raining on me while im doing my thing, but it doesnt work!! It gives me these intesne, loud, real feeelings that make me feel like i am gay and that I just need to accept it. Like its the hyperfocusing that I cant control that makes me focus on the feelings when im trying to do something else, allowing it to be there but still doing my own thing however Im still paying attention to the feeling, and the thoughts feel intense, and its like this ALLLL DAY, for three days straight. I dont know what to do anymore, because ERP doesnt seem to be working.

I know I keep talking about This but I’m too tired :( I’m really struggling and I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel like I might be the only person who experiences this in the way I do. It’s gotten so bad that during intimacy or self-pleasure, I feel like I’m acting on a thought — like my body is moving because of it. It’s terrifying and deeply hurtful. The moment it happens, I immediately panic, try to rewind everything in my head, and ruminate to figure out what I was thinking at that exact second… but I can never remember. That makes it even worse. feel so lost and hopeless, like I’ll never be able to heal or move on from this. People tell me “it’s just OCD,” but it doesn’t feel like OCD to me. It feels like I’m the exception — like no one else truly experiences it like this, especially the part where it feels like I physically responded to a thought. I know people say “others go through this too,” but my mind keeps saying, “not like this, not this specific thing.”Sometimes I just wish I could go back and relive those moments so I could be sure what happened, but I know that’s not possible. I feel so stuck in guilt and doubt that I don’t even know who I am anymore. I’m scared I’m a bad person and that I’ll always feel this way. I’ll never be free or be the same again everyday I live with deep depression