- Username
- Madison the ERP Ninja
- Date posted
- 3y ago
It's hard but we can handle these rough times. When I'm going through a rough time with ocd (nonstop rumination, more negative intrusive thoughts, anxious physical sensations) I remind myself that I have experienced good days before and I will experience them again... it sucks but we can do it ❤
Thanks so much 😢 I have had a really bad backdoor spike for the past 2 and a half months, I feel so hopeless! I was feeling really amazing before but I’ve relapsed and I’m really frustrated with myself. I’m on the verge of tears right now, I so badly want to be better. 😢 sorry for ranting haha. I hope you are doing good!! Do you still experience good days even after bad times of OCD?
Yes!!! It’s hard to get back up but we have to!!!☀️
@Madison The last 3 days have been great!
@Alimoon So glad!!!
Emotional perfectionism is: * Urgent: “I must relate to this effectively right now!” * Critical: “I know what to do. Why can’t I do it?!?” * Comparative: “Other people don’t have this problem or are better at relating to it. What’s wrong with me?” * Compulsive: “What do I feel? What am I thinking? What I feel now? Oh no, where did that thought come from? What does that mean? Am I better? Will I get better? Is that surrender? Oh no, why do I have that feeling now? What does that mean? Am I better? Will I get better?” A curious and compassionate attitude towards recovery is: * Patient: “Some triggers are harder than others for me. I’m going to focus on my next step and take pride in my process.” * Compassionate: “Even though I intellectually know what to do, practicing it is really challenging. I’m very uncomfortable and it is really courageous to stay with this experience.” * Self-respectful: “Other people may have a different process than I do, but I choose to own my own process." * Curious: “I’m noticing some sensations showing up. Let me describe them to myself. I’m noticing some thoughts too. Interesting. Is the content signaling anything to me or are my thoughts just sticky noise that showed up because I’m sensitized? Do I have any feelings now? Interesting. Maybe I have more than one feeling. Interesting…” If your belief is that you will be better when you no longer experience anxiety or OCD, then checking whether you are experiencing anxiety and OCD is reasonable. Hopefully this explanation has helped you understand why recovery is about how you relate to your experience, not whether anxiety and OCD show up. If you must check, check on your attitude. Is your self-talk patient, compassionate, self-respectful, and curious? If not, we’ll be curious about that together. You are an anxiety patient until you no longer need help being patient with your anxiety.
I'm not feeling my best today to so we can gère for each other 💖
Totally we are here for one another!
Ocd is so weird….it’s dormant then It’s not…mine is up and down all over but the one thing I’m trying to to think about process not perfection…don’t beat yourself up….I’m going to copy and paste something I read today that might help
I’ve had that! Go months then boom I’m in corner crying!
Yessss
I’ve been there madi
I saw this today and really related !!!
I hope this might help…I like the part about self-talk and checking on attitude because I always forget this and end up mad that I had a great day then a big spike again..,🙏🏻🌈
Thanks for pasting that! That is so interesting! I am really hard on myself and definitely need to practice more self compassion. I try to make a list of things I’m thankful for and good things I did today, but all I can see is the overwhelming fact that I’ve been struggling for months, and that makes me so sad 😢
I know, me too!!! I have to read that and add to my list of what to pay attention to because it one of the most important things …self compassion and I am very hard on myself …ocd takes so much work. I also heard a therapist say ocd work is literally second to second and so I try to remember what I thought 2 seconds ago is over and to try not to ruminate about not getting it right….and move on to the next second. If you were having a great month, it means you will again…I had a good day today then of course I got stuck later…keep working and going.,. We are in it together!!🌈☀️🙏🏻🙏🏻
Yayyyy! I’ll do the same, that actually really helped to hear you say that…the little things are the most important. Always here if you want to chat 🙏🏻🌷
Hey, how are you doing today?
Thank you so much 💖
Ah, I’m Sorry! I felt that way yesterday and told her how failed I felt….and hopeless it can feel,…she said it’s normal, it’s ocd and ocd does this …we just need to not engage…which is the trick and ocd is sooooo tricky. It’s always messing with us. I need to practice more and also not try such hard ERP exposures. Let’s reset for tomorrow and start over! In it with ya! 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
Thanks so much! It is so hard not to engage, it feels like it happens automatically even though I know it’s in my control and that’s the most frustrating part, I wish I could just STOP 😔 I hope tomorrow is better for both of us!!
❤️❤️❤️🙏🏻
Let’s check in tomorrow!
How are you doing?
I’m up and down….trying to recognize and accept more today…it’s amazing how I’m totally good one minute and a second later there it is!! It’s so annoying and scary and frustrating…especially when you feel that grip. But trying to let it pass without getting involved . How are you??
Aghhhh, I’m sorry!! You have the same as me right ? HOCD ? I’ve been trying to figure out the feelings today that happen when the thought pops or sometimes it’s just this heaviness that makes the thought pop up or the reminder…my ocd loves to keep reminding me I should start thinking about it which is when I am trying to call it out hard…and spot the moment then not address..:the hardest part is when I get this very confusing urge to think about it, like this gross urge and it is like so crazy hard not to spiral when this happens . Ugh, at least we are not alone …no one understands the feelings and lost life quality unless they go through it. Let’s stay strong⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I manage my HOCD super well now but my big one now is ruminating about ruminating, I’m obsessed with if I’m doing ERP right or not, so stupid right? OCD is so illogical 😭 But I totally understand that, no one truly knows the pain and the lost quality of life unless they’ve lived this. HOCD was so horrible for me too but you got this! You are putting up such a good fight, keep it up!! 🌻
Oh, ok!! Yes I find myself reading sites for reassurance also! When it happens I remind myself I have OCD, sometimes that helps me be kinder to myself…because I’m so willing to get mad and frustrated…I read this quote …recovery is about how you relate to your experience…not whether anxiety and ocd show up. If you must check, check on your attitude. Is your self talk patient, compassionate, self-respectful, and curious? I liked this ! Maybe will help..I have to keep reminding myself 🙄🙄✔️🌷
That is so true! It’s so difficult to find a balance between being patient with the process and not getting frustrated, but also pushing myself to try harder and not give in. I need to find a good balance of both! 😖😖 Love that outlook though! How was your day today? Did you do anything fun or good for yourself? 🌸🌻
Hi! Thank you! Yes, good day! I did some nice things 🌷🌷🌷🌷I hope you have a good day today 🥰
Hey how are you today? 💖
Hi, I’m ok!! How about you?❣️
Struggling but I did good on some exposures with my therapist!! 😁 full of doubt, but trying to move on anyway. How are you?
I had my therapy today too! It was good…but need to not keep worrying now that my more peaceful week is going to go away and I’ll lose the practice or I’ll start worrying again it’s not ocd…I’ve been really good at recognizing it …so always panic I’ll lose the focus…but I have to realize that’s ocd too …questioning it…I feel that way about doubt also…definitely the answer is to move away otherwise it turns into ruminating….but glad you’re doing well on the exposures. Yay! I need to find more to do! I went to the bookstore yesterday and was surprisingly triggered by the psychology section. I went for an ocd book then saw all the books about sociopaths and pyschoaths but was proud of myself for reaching for the ocd book instead! 😀❣️
Hey I am so sorry I didn’t respond to this! Don’t let me forget about this! I gotta go to my therapy session rn but don’t let me forget to respond to this I am so curious how you are doing today!!
Hey Madison! Thank you!! No worries, I appreciate it! I’m up and down just did a scary movie erp and that is scary! I have a bunch of different themes popping up but talked about with my therapist yesterday so I’m starting more erp with those. It never ends, but exciting to be aware of them and to remind myself.. it’s not easy. I hope you’re ok, and have a good session!!🌷
Wow!!! I am so proud of you! Recovery is a bumpy road so don’t worry if it gets harder here and there, if we just keep moving eventually the bumps smooth out and we get better and better! I am literally so excited and happy for you! Congrats on doing that scary ERP! It’s no easy thing and we are soooo brave!! ☀️ How are you today? Yesterday I had a pretty good today, but OCD tends to react to my progress after a good day and is like “wait I’m still here you gotta solve me before you can have a good day like that again!” so I am being aware of that, and knowing that is what it will try to do, instead of be discouraged. There will be highs and lows but the important thing is that I move forward!
Hi, I love how positive you are! Yes, to moving forward! I have, embrace moving forward on my wall which helps . I’m so happy that you are doing well. I know the exact feeling you are talking about though, I had a great day yesterday and yet at the end of the day the HOCD came in suddenly and ‘reminded’ me that I still have it and so don’t get too happy....ugh…we just need to remember it’s a lifelong illness but can be managed. I always tell myself that, so I can’t expect it to be gone but can decide not to ruminate or do a compulsion and sit with the discomfort and anxiety. So glad we have tools to use!! Have a great day, talk soon!🌸🌸🌸
For sure!! My therapist has been telling me to take it with me as my buddy instead of trying to feel better or make it go away before I live with my life. And honestly, embracing it lessens its power quite a bit!! I used a massive trigger as a HUGE exposure today. It was so hard to resist compulsions. I was pretty uncomfortable for like an hour. Trying to resist mental checking and move on tho. ✊ I hope you are having a great day and had a good weekend! Don’t forget to do something kind for yourself ❤️
That is great advice, to think of as a buddy! Thank you.😊 And congratulations on the big ERP and one hour for a massive trigger isn’t bad…so good you did it. Is your therapist with NOCD? It’s such a great place. I also really like the live talks they give. I can never learn enough about this subject. Have a great week…as ok also thank you for the reminder to do something nice …always forget…hope you treated yourself too!😘
Yes my therapist is with NOCD! I really love NOCD! I haven’t been to the zoom sessions but I want to go sometime. How have you been doing lately? And thank youuu hehe I made myself an ice cream sundae 🤣
Ugh! I’m sorry and I definitely have that too.,.It feels like once the ball gets rolling on compulsions and ruminating it’s hard to stop the ball from rolling… and mine just is literally going into a new theme as I speak ….which is stemming from someone who works for me who is using passive aggressive behavior on me and I am having so much OCD about his passive aggressive behavior and how to handle it. My whole day has been getting into arguments in my head with him…also about am I being irrational and making his behavior bigger than it is…ocd is so distorting …I really have to sit and not engage with these thoughts but soooo hard! And your day will turn around tomorrow ! I know it!! Thank you for sharing and listening 🌸🌸🌸🌸🌸
I’m so sorry you’re getting this new obsession! OCD is so tricky sometimes — it doesn’t want to leave! It can be so tricky and hard but if we don’t give up and keep resisting these compulsions the best we can, eventually it gets easier ❤️ I hope you will do something kind for yourself today! Especially putting yo with that behavior AND OCD distorting it! ❤️
Aw, thank you!!! Yes, Getting a facial tomorrow!!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
That sounds SO fun!! Enjoy!!! 💖
Thank you!! Where are you from ? I’m in New York!
I am in Florida!! I’ve always wanted to go to New York! 🗽
It’s awesome!
Hi, I’m ok…always a new pop up but navigating! How are you?!
That’s good to hear! I know this is sooooo rough! But so proud of you keeping up with this journey! ❤️ My last 2-3 days have been really good! Not perfect, but good. Bit of a backdoor spike today but not too terrible, and I really enjoyed working on my passions ❤️ Have you been able to do anything kind for yourself today?
Thank you so much!! That’s a great tip from a therapist too. I really hope I’ll get through this! Yes we are in this together 🙏 I’m practicing some self care right now, I put on cozy socks and a sweater and am having a treat. Because why not 🤷🏻♀️ I hope you will do something good for yourself after a rough day🙏🙏
Hi! Thank you! I’m ok, had a rough few days but met with my therapist today and that helped. How are you today?
I’m so glad your therapist helped!! I had a couple slightly better days but a really hard day today, I feel pretty hopeless :(
Hi!
That is always so so tough!! I hate that grip feeling. Good on you for keeping on!!! I’m doing really terrible today, horrible anxiety and tons of compulsions. I wish I could just stop, I’m so frustrated I want to cry. 😭
Thank you, so encouraging!!! I also have the rumination issue…have you read anything by Michael Greenberg? He talks a lot about ruminating. Maybe could be interesting! Have a good day 🌷🌷🌷🌷
Yes I have! Ironically I have read almost his entire website and had to stop because I was using them for reassurance. 😅 That’s why I’m so frustrated, I know I can just STOP but it’s so hard for me to do for whatever reason!!!
How are you doing today? The last 2 days have been really good for me, but then today I’m hitting a flare again. I guess this happens with recovery — highs and lows but we just have to surf the waves!
Hi Madison, yes I love NOCD so much! I’ve been pretty good lately but my themes keep switching and I’m obsessing over other things😭 I can see it when it happens and it’s so crazy but I’m trying to recognize it quickly…Such as worrying if I said the wrong thing is that person mad at me does that person hate me now did I put the wrong price on some thing I’m selling… it’s never ending! But it helps to keep learning more about it! how about you ? what happened with the flare today?? Unless it’s personal I totally understand!!🌸💕💕🌸
So relatable!!! OCD attaches itself to nearly EVERYTHING! Lol! It can help to have a structure list of exposures and then tackle them one by one and see your progress! Well a couple days ago I had 2 good days, and then the next day I hit a bad flare. My obsession is about doing the therapy right or wrong when resisting rumination or trying to live my life without “fixing” OCD first. And I sunk back into a lot of compulsions again and same thing today and now I’m really discouraged and sad.
Oh! I love Florida!! 😎
How are you doing friend? 💖
I know I shouldn’t, but is there any chance I can get some reassurance or some talking to. I just had the scariest thought and it sent me into panic
Hiii. So I’ve been having not so great a day today and recently. It’s honestly not even involving OCD and more my general anxiety and depression. It’s just stemming from an issue that I’m stressing over and struggling with. I’ve been feeling kind of alone, but I’ve been reminding myself of the community I have on here and that’s a great comfort. If anyone is in need of any help please let me know. I’d love to help ❤️❤️
I’d love some encouragement from anyone who is willing to send it my way. I’m having a hard time really leaning into uncertainty and my exposures. I know I need to take a leap if I’m going to get better, but I just don’t want to! I struggle to stop myself from ritualizing and I put off doing my exposure tasks too. Any support would be greatly welcomed. Thanks everyone.
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