- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you, zg23. I believe I gave you that advice in your own post. I appreciate it and I’m glad it helps you. I’m not looking for advice. I’m just sharing. I’m handling it
- Date posted
- 6y
Hi there, sounds pretty rough. I am currently going through a similar situation but just remember these thoughts aren’t you- they don’t make you who you are. OCD messes with your worst fears and turns them around. The best thing for me is to be around kids it’s the best exposure therapy I can get because it makes me realise how much I care for them. These thoughts are so mentally draining and nerve wracking but you have to tell ocd to shut the fuck up. Every time you feel yourself ruminating breathe and say nope thought I see you, I’m not reacting to you and focus your attention on something else. Try your best to act normal around the kids. Cuddle your son. When bathing the child, bathe him normally if you look you look, it’s a normal psychogical response for humans to stare. I wish you the best of luck and stay strong!
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh yes! Thank you for your post. I wish you the best of luck! Be sure to share your progress
- Date posted
- 6y
You are incredible. That is some next level bravery, the kind of fear and torment that people going to war face. Sending you lots of light as you push through the next couple days.
- Date posted
- 6y
My progress is that I didn’t sleep at all last night because I’d fall asleep and have dreams I was masturbating and enjoying it then I’d realize where I was, in a room with two sleeping children, and I’d wake myself up to find I wasn’t doing anything and it was only a dream. So I’d fall back asleep and there goes that dream again. I’m just so tired and annoyed and disgusted. It’s not really shame or guilt that I feel, I’m just really REALLY annoyed with intrusive thoughts. Like leave me alone already. Have you ever heard that analogy people have used for intrusive thoughts that goes something like it feels like someone is tapping you on your shoulder and you know they’re harmless but they keeping doing it and you’re like Could you please stop? But they don’t stop. And you try anything. Acknowledge them. Ignore them. Accept them. Let them be and go about your business. But they’re still following you around and tapping you. Yeah, that’s where I’m at. I wanna cut off this person’s finger and feed it to the wolves. I think they come most at night because the kids are asleep so they’re the most vulnerable at that moment therefore I’m the most vulnerable at that moment.
- Date posted
- 6y
I know exactly how you feel. Stay strong and keep posting! ❤️
- Date posted
- 6y
And I should add: that’s exactly the kind of bravery it takes for people with OCD to reclaim their lives.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you, Fivel ❤️
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w
Hi NOCD community, I was hoping to get some advice from fellow sufferers. In December we welcomed the first baby into the family, my beautiful niece. Since then, my POCD has been awful, which I know is probably very normal. Last week, in the middle of a very high stress day in my family, I was changing my niece and as usually happens, I got intrusive thoughts about awful things people do to babies when changing them. The thoughts were so harrowing to have as I was also changing her at the exact same time, and I felt my hands just quickly want to finish patting her dry before putting her nappy on, and for some reason, my heart dropped with that hand movement, because I was afraid that I had acted out the awful thoughts in my head, in a moment of mania because my morals, values and heart do not align with abuse of any kind, especially to children. My niece is my everything, and I know I would never want harm to come to her in any way, shape or form. I love her endlessly. I am having therapy, but have only had a couple of sessions. But, I cannot shake the 'what if'. I am tortured over trying to remember what it was I did that made my heart drop, but I can't, and its getting fuzzier and fuzzier the more I try to remember. Could anyone offer any advice on this please? Thank you.
- Date posted
- 21w
TW- POCD people only please. Am I a criminal hiding behind a diagnosis? I woke up in the middle of the night breathing and I was having groinals because she laying across me. My mind told me I had already hurt her so might as well do something else. I then was like well I have nothing to lose and I had to think of what to do. The only thing I could think to do was move my elbow towards her groin area to cause a feeling. Well I did that and my elbow touched her groin and caused an unwanted feeling. I then immediately asked my child to move. After that, I went back to sleep but I believe in a state of shock as to what happened. I woke up panicking completely thinking I have done ruined my life. I was going to prison and would lose my child. Since then, I haven't stopped ruminating. I have had days where I feel okay, but then there are days where I can't stop crying. Thinking I don't deserve my child, and I deserve to be in the ground. I was on a new medication that was causing me to spiral and giving me insomnia during this time. I wasn't getting much sleep at all. Since then, I've slept on the floor, and I eventually got my child to sleep in their own bed to avoid this happening again. I got off the medication and feel so much better with my thoughts and sleeping so much better. My daughter tells me how wonderful I am often, but I don't feel that I even deserve to celebrate Mother's Day this year. I'm not a good mom. I was four months ago before I spiraled. What's wrong with me? (edited)
- Date posted
- 17w
Advice, coping techniques, just distraction needed. Yesterday night, my parents asked me if I could take care of my baby brother and I’ve been wanting to help them out so of course I said yes, and I was taking care of him with my other brother. A big fear of mine that I’ve told my therapist about is that my OCD will latch on to my new baby brother. It hasn’t happened since he has come home with us, but now I feel like something is brewing. My little brother is prone to throwing up so he already got the shirt He was wearing all dirty so I went to my mom‘s room and decided to change his onesie. I called my other brother for help by helping me sit him up while I put the shirt over his head after the shirt went over his head. My other brother was walking out and that’s when I clipped the buttons on the bottom of the onesie and continued to carry him around the house, but it’s that action that my mind is obsessing over. Me clipping the buttons of my baby brother’s onesie. I can’t get over it. My mind keeps replaying that one thing because my thoughts are saying “oh what if you accidentally inappropriately touched him “ and I even went out of my way to avoid touching his diaper because I knew my head would start spinning shit like this. But ever since last night, I can’t stop thinking if I accidentally traumatized my little brother some how. I know I didn’t do anything wrong. I’ve helped my mom change my brother‘s clothes before. My parents literally check his diaper if he soiled himself, but when I do anything that has to do with making sure my brother is clean and healthy my head tries to make me feel sick and crazy. The thoughts are getting worse and getting to the point where my head is trying to make me feel like I’m weird for wanting to change my brother out of his dirty clothes. I’m just so scared that these thoughts are gonna get worse and I’m trying not to freak out right now so I went for a walk outside. But im still getting such intense anxiety. I dont know how to cope or what to do advice coping techniques would be a such a help ive been doing so good with avoiding compulsions. I just need help to ground myself. I dont want to go to my mom with this ill feel worse. Is me writing this a compulsion?
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