- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s just like we’ve been robbed of our true selves and we have to fight to find who we once were :( it’s horrible. But we aren’t our thoughts. We really aren’t :( as much as we think we are
- Date posted
- 6y
Pauline/Ashley I can relate to you both. I’m also in a LDR and suffer from ROCD and I feel like it keeps me from being my true self - I avoid going out or hanging out with friends and hobbies because of it. LDR and ROCD I think is very hard - I think in the end not sustainable, more so than LDR without ocd (which is hard enough). It’s too easy to get stuck in your own head and it’s almost like the person you love is not there to jolt you out of it..what helps me is making sure we talk everyday, even if it’s for a few minutes, stay in touch as much as possible, etc and accept the thoughts without acting on them (super hard I’m not a pro at this at all). But I’ve noticed anytime I act on the anxiety or ocd I’m worse for the wear so I just try to leave them be and not react. It’s just too easy to get stuck in your head with ROCD and LDR...ugh
- Date posted
- 6y
It’s so horrible
- Date posted
- 6y
Agreed! Your thoughts and feelings don’t control you and people with OCD are hardcore living proof of that. The good thing about folks like us is that we learn not to be slaves to our emotions, like so many people in this world are...
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m scared my brain will push me to that as well. I hate it. I don’t feel like myself. I can’t feel the love. It’s horrible! I’ve been through this before and it did go away and when it did I was so happy it did. I was more in love than ever. I’m right back to having horrible Rocd thoughts again ?
- Date posted
- 6y
I’m so sorry :( it’s scary isn’t it. I wish we could get through this easier. Or that it was something that didn’t hurt us so much. It SUCKS :( have you tried any therapy or medications?
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes. I’ve been in therapy for 4 years and I’m currently on 80mg Prozac. I’ve gotten better but I’m currently in a relapse of symptoms so it’s very hard.
- Date posted
- 6y
I also wish the ocd didn’t attack someone that I love and care about so much
- Date posted
- 6y
:( you’ve done amazingly to persist for 4 years. I admire you so much for that. You’re very brave. And you’re not letting the ocd win!
- Date posted
- 6y
@pauline421 your statement is so true. I am so lost because of this disorder. I have to work so hard just to find myself again. I’m scared. I’m depressed. I’m tired of this!! Every day is a battle
- Date posted
- 6y
Unfortunately, the way out is through. It’s saying to yourself, “maybe I won’t ever feel that love again.” But regardless of your thoughts or feelings, you always have the power to make choices. So if you really want to stay with your boyfriend, you can do that, no matter what your thoughts and feelings seem to say! I promise I understand how hard this is. I’ve been struggling with ROCD, but I’m still going to get married in a month, because that’s what I want to do, even if OCD says otherwise.
- Date posted
- 6y
No I’m not but I feel so close to all the time. It truly is the worst thing I’ve ever been through ? I miss myself
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes it’s horrible. We’ve been dealt a shit card, that’s for sure. My ocd started in my early 20s - I remember a time I had relationships with no ROCD. How I long for those days! Some days are torture for sure...! Do your have friends you can hang out with?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
- Date posted
- 6w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
- Date posted
- 6w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
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