- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It’s just like we’ve been robbed of our true selves and we have to fight to find who we once were :( it’s horrible. But we aren’t our thoughts. We really aren’t :( as much as we think we are
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Pauline/Ashley I can relate to you both. I’m also in a LDR and suffer from ROCD and I feel like it keeps me from being my true self - I avoid going out or hanging out with friends and hobbies because of it. LDR and ROCD I think is very hard - I think in the end not sustainable, more so than LDR without ocd (which is hard enough). It’s too easy to get stuck in your own head and it’s almost like the person you love is not there to jolt you out of it..what helps me is making sure we talk everyday, even if it’s for a few minutes, stay in touch as much as possible, etc and accept the thoughts without acting on them (super hard I’m not a pro at this at all). But I’ve noticed anytime I act on the anxiety or ocd I’m worse for the wear so I just try to leave them be and not react. It’s just too easy to get stuck in your head with ROCD and LDR...ugh
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It’s so horrible
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Agreed! Your thoughts and feelings don’t control you and people with OCD are hardcore living proof of that. The good thing about folks like us is that we learn not to be slaves to our emotions, like so many people in this world are...
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m scared my brain will push me to that as well. I hate it. I don’t feel like myself. I can’t feel the love. It’s horrible! I’ve been through this before and it did go away and when it did I was so happy it did. I was more in love than ever. I’m right back to having horrible Rocd thoughts again ?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I’m so sorry :( it’s scary isn’t it. I wish we could get through this easier. Or that it was something that didn’t hurt us so much. It SUCKS :( have you tried any therapy or medications?
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes. I’ve been in therapy for 4 years and I’m currently on 80mg Prozac. I’ve gotten better but I’m currently in a relapse of symptoms so it’s very hard.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I also wish the ocd didn’t attack someone that I love and care about so much
- Date posted
- 6y ago
:( you’ve done amazingly to persist for 4 years. I admire you so much for that. You’re very brave. And you’re not letting the ocd win!
- Date posted
- 6y ago
@pauline421 your statement is so true. I am so lost because of this disorder. I have to work so hard just to find myself again. I’m scared. I’m depressed. I’m tired of this!! Every day is a battle
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Unfortunately, the way out is through. It’s saying to yourself, “maybe I won’t ever feel that love again.” But regardless of your thoughts or feelings, you always have the power to make choices. So if you really want to stay with your boyfriend, you can do that, no matter what your thoughts and feelings seem to say! I promise I understand how hard this is. I’ve been struggling with ROCD, but I’m still going to get married in a month, because that’s what I want to do, even if OCD says otherwise.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
No I’m not but I feel so close to all the time. It truly is the worst thing I’ve ever been through ? I miss myself
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Yes it’s horrible. We’ve been dealt a shit card, that’s for sure. My ocd started in my early 20s - I remember a time I had relationships with no ROCD. How I long for those days! Some days are torture for sure...! Do your have friends you can hang out with?
Related posts
- Date posted
- 18w ago
I’ve just recently found out that Relationship OCD is a thing. I feel like I relate but it also feels like relationship trauma. I’m in a fairly new relationship and I keep telling myself that things are going great, we are good, he cares for me, but does he? There’s this unbelievable amount of self doubt that sits in me because of what my ex did to me many months ago. I kept getting told that I do too much, i smother, need constant reassurance, then got told that I don’t care enough, the things I do aren’t enough and that I’m not enough. I feel like I am waiting for the day that I get broken up with because of these “problems” just so I can be proven right at the fact that I should be considered unlovable. I go through this every month around my period because I get so emotional and nervous that I stress over the idea that he doesn’t like me. How does someone continue a relationship with Relationship OCD? How do I explain it?
- Date posted
- 11w ago
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
- Date posted
- 6w ago
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
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