Does anyone else with ROCD feel like the love may never come back? That you’ve been in this cycle for so long that your love just won’t ever be the same or the relationship is forever changed? I often look at my boyfriend and panic I’m in the wrong relationship because I can’t imagine us together in 50 years. We are in a VERY LDR (I’m talking opposite sides of the world) we were physically together for over a year before he went back, and I never questioned my love for him. Now I question it all the time and wonder if I’ll ever be capable of love, towards him or anyone else. I don’t even know who I am myself anymore and it’s a very vicious ocd cycle. Just when I feel better I’m not. What can I do? My anxiety is getting worse and I’m scared my brain will push me to leave when I don’t want to because he’s always been the person I’ve wanted.

It’s just like we’ve been robbed of our true selves and we have to fight to find who we once were :( it’s horrible. But we aren’t our thoughts. We really aren’t :( as much as we think we are

Pauline/Ashley I can relate to you both. I’m also in a LDR and suffer from ROCD and I feel like it keeps me from being my true self - I avoid going out or hanging out with friends and hobbies because of it. LDR and ROCD I think is very hard - I think in the end not sustainable, more so than LDR without ocd (which is hard enough). It’s too easy to get stuck in your own head and it’s almost like the person you love is not there to jolt you out of it..what helps me is making sure we talk everyday, even if it’s for a few minutes, stay in touch as much as possible, etc and accept the thoughts without acting on them (super hard I’m not a pro at this at all). But I’ve noticed anytime I act on the anxiety or ocd I’m worse for the wear so I just try to leave them be and not react. It’s just too easy to get stuck in your head with ROCD and LDR...ugh

It’s so horrible

Agreed! Your thoughts and feelings don’t control you and people with OCD are hardcore living proof of that. The good thing about folks like us is that we learn not to be slaves to our emotions, like so many people in this world are...

I’m scared my brain will push me to that as well. I hate it. I don’t feel like myself. I can’t feel the love. It’s horrible! I’ve been through this before and it did go away and when it did I was so happy it did. I was more in love than ever. I’m right back to having horrible Rocd thoughts again ?

I’m so sorry :( it’s scary isn’t it. I wish we could get through this easier. Or that it was something that didn’t hurt us so much. It SUCKS :( have you tried any therapy or medications?

Yes. I’ve been in therapy for 4 years and I’m currently on 80mg Prozac. I’ve gotten better but I’m currently in a relapse of symptoms so it’s very hard.

I also wish the ocd didn’t attack someone that I love and care about so much

:( you’ve done amazingly to persist for 4 years. I admire you so much for that. You’re very brave. And you’re not letting the ocd win!

@pauline421 your statement is so true. I am so lost because of this disorder. I have to work so hard just to find myself again. I’m scared. I’m depressed. I’m tired of this!! Every day is a battle

Unfortunately, the way out is through. It’s saying to yourself, “maybe I won’t ever feel that love again.” But regardless of your thoughts or feelings, you always have the power to make choices. So if you really want to stay with your boyfriend, you can do that, no matter what your thoughts and feelings seem to say! I promise I understand how hard this is. I’ve been struggling with ROCD, but I’m still going to get married in a month, because that’s what I want to do, even if OCD says otherwise.

No I’m not but I feel so close to all the time. It truly is the worst thing I’ve ever been through ? I miss myself

Yes it’s horrible. We’ve been dealt a shit card, that’s for sure. My ocd started in my early 20s - I remember a time I had relationships with no ROCD. How I long for those days! Some days are torture for sure...! Do your have friends you can hang out with?