pls help!! so something that really helped me calm down when I’m having a OCD attack is that, before HOCD, I knew all my life that I was straight. But now, my brain is trying to tell me that I didn’t know that I was straight bc subconsciously I was always questioning. What do I do?? I thought I knew I was straight all my life before this, but now my hocd is making me believe that I didn’t actually know and I was always doubting my sexuality. Is this still HOCD? Can someone relatevvv

i actually questioned my sexuality before and it makes me feel sick because honestly what if i am just in denial

I can relate. But do yourself a favor and stop asking this question because it does not matter. Asking yourself these questions and searching for answers in your brain will not get you anywhere. You can do this. Don’t let the thoughts bully you.

I’m convinced I’ve always questioned too even though I literally remember having another ocd theme as a really little kid where I was convinced the doctors made a mistake and I was actually biologically a boy (incredibly ridiculous and based off of a lack of knowledge of human anatomy) and I was crying because I thought it meant I had to marry a girl (I know this is problematic in so many ways now but it was the very early 2000s)

When you keep reminding yourself about being straight before HOCD, you are reassuring yourself which will only bring the OCD thoughts back thus perpetuating the cycle. All your mine will do is bring you the same question yet it will use anything from a different perspective (and I mean anything) to try to make the answer to that question uncertain. Your best bet is to try to not engage or answer any question your mind posses and if your mind tries to throw a thought at you that you suddenly worry that it could be true, tell you mind "sure, fuck it why not. Hey who's to say???" If you are persistent with that mind set (and even then it's not easy as I slip up from time to time), it becomes easier to disarm the thoughts...