pls help!! so something that really helped me calm down when I’m having a OCD attack is that, before HOCD, I knew all my life that I was straight. But now, my brain is trying to tell me that I didn’t know that I was straight bc subconsciously I was always questioning. What do I do?? I thought I knew I was straight all my life before this, but now my hocd is making me believe that I didn’t actually know and I was always doubting my sexuality. Is this still HOCD? Can someone relatevvv

Is it normal for even straight people to question their sexuality at times? Before HOCD I was like I’m probably bi or whatever based on NOO CONCRETE EVIDENCE bc in real life I was only attracted to men and am in a stable relationship with a boy...but I got these random thoughts and they didn’t bother me as much that’s until HOCD hit :( and now I’m like NO IM STRAIGHT STOP ?

I’m new to this app and just wanted to share my story. As a young girl I definitely had compulsions. My mom always told me she would take me to a psychiatrist (I would cry when people sat on my bed). Anyways, as I got older I definitely grew out of a lot of things. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD but I have GAD. I know I definitely have OCD because I have done a lot of research. Recently I have really, really been struggling with HOCD. I’ve never experienced this before, and that’s why it’s making it more scary. I’m a young adult woman and have been in a very serious relationship with a male for many years. I love him so much. I am also very athletic and not very girly. I always loved the fact that I was a guys gal, but lately it has made me super insecure. A lot of people at school assume I’m bisexual because I’m super pro LGBTQ rights and idk? Idk why I give off that “vibe”. It never bothered me, I always thought it was funny, and I have no issue with being gay, but I’m definitely not?! During this quarantine my guy friends have said I have way way more guy friends than girl friends, someone asked my teammate if I was bisexual, and I have never had an orgasm from my boyfriend. It started really getting in my head and I keep being like “am I gay and that’s why I don’t orgasm”. This seems so pathetic and writing this actually helps and makes me realize there is no way I like women. But anyways THE THOUGHTS DO NOT STOP. I keep worrying that I do not know myself, and maybe I don’t love my bf, and maybe other people see something I don’t. Anyways, how can I help myself? I am noticing I’m reassuring and checking and starting compulsions

So my hocd started over 2 years ago (I’m 20 yrs old now), when I was having a conversation with one of my friends and the thought popped into the back of my head what if the reason I don’t have a crush on any guys at my high school is because I’m a lesbian. Since then my sexuality has been on my mind 24/7 I didn’t know this was ocd until about a year ago but i’m only seeking treatment now. The hocd ramped up when I felt super aroused watching a movie with topless women, something that had never happened when watching men. Thing is I genuinely think I’m gay now, I’ve had this for so long that at first the thoughts disgusted me and caused me anxiety but now they don’t anymore. I saw so many tiktok videos about “pipelines” of certain interests gay people have that triggered me and read the comphet masterdoc which made me cry when I read it because I related to so much of it. When I was a child I was never boy crazy, I never really crushed on boys in my class (to be fair there were only 7) however I do remember writing a love note to a boy in first grade and having an immense celebrity crush on a disney channel star. I remember to certain things I did as a child that lead me to think I am gay and they keep replaying over and over in my head. Thing is over the past year I’ve had crushes on 3 guys I’ve met through dating apps. The last one I actually hung out with and I had my first kiss/makeout session 2 months ago. After that my hocd calmed down I enjoyed kissing him it felt euphoric the whole drive home just replaying our dates in my head. But now I can’t get the thought out of my head what if I didn’t like it enough? I didn’t get butterflies when we kissed (i do when I think back about it though) and didnt feel super aroused like that time I watched that movie. I feel nothing when I look at pictures and videos of men but with women I started getting this warm feeling in my chest which stressed me out even more. Idk what I am anymore and it is driving me insane. Does anyone relate?