Hi guys I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I have struggled with ROCD for a long time now and it has been hard on my relationship. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and 2 weeks ago he admitted to me that he finds other girls attractive. It seems innocent to me and I know it is normal to find beauty in other people even when in a relationship. I know it’s normal, but I still cannot stop worrying about it. I worry he may find these girls more attractive than me and will develop feelings for them. My boyfriend says he doesn’t find them more attractive and that he only wants to be with me, but I can’t stop these thoughts. I have tried ERP exercises, talked to my therapist and asked my partner for reassurance which only helps temporarily and then the constant worry and agonizing intrusive thoughts come back. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to worry about this anymore. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I just want to be able to accept this and move on.

me and my boyfriend have had periods where we fight a lot recently. Ever since then, a lot of people, strangers, coworkers, classmates, anytime, I am around them, I find them attractive, or find qualities about them that are attractive. I feel like maybe this happens because I am lacking something that my boyfriend is not giving me. I just don’t know what, I’m really sad because I really do love my boyfriend and I don’t want anyone else, but these thoughts are really hard to deal with. I also have coworkers that are males that I speak to at work, and I always get intrusive thoughts while I’m talking to them or after. I’m really scared. This means I’m a cheater, or about to cheat. A lot of things have happened to me and my boyfriend’s relationship, not cheating at all but you know there’s way more than that that can happen. I feel like a lot of things have happened that we need to discuss and it’s been weighing on me and causing these thoughts. I feel like maybe I have these thoughts about other people, but my OCD makes it more than what it is and gives me anxiety. Help :(

I get thoughts a lot that say people are attractive or not attractive, some of my compulsions are “checking” to make sure I don’t find them attractive or see if my thoughts are actually true… I know that doesn’t help ocd at all - I get that, but cmon you’ve all done compulsions before that’s a part of our disease. All I’m asking is if anyone else does these compulsions but hates doing it, it’s just because of fear or sometimes disgust that you’re having those thoughts - mind you I do understand it’s okay to find people attractive in a relationship, but my thoughts that pop up are alot to do with past people or people I just don’t want to think about. And sometimes when I have seen a look alike actor to one of those people it’ll start saying you find them hot, good looking, etc… when I confessed to my partner he told me just not to do that, like the checking stuff and analysing… so that makes me feel even more anxious and feel like I’m hyper focused on it now, like trying not to do it but when the thoughts come in I feel like I automatically try and reassure myself. I guess I’m asking if this is me doing something betraying to my partner or if it’s actually a compulsion and I know I should avoid any compulsions… but I don’t want to feel, on top of doing compulsions that I’m actually betraying my boyfriend, because he doesn’t understand some compulsions and probably thinks well why can’t you just not do that compulsion cause it makes him uncomfortable, and so now I just feel like if I do any checking compulsion I’m actually betraying him. :(

I think I have relationship OCD. I will be doing great with my boyfriend then out of no where I get this intrusive thought that he thinks other people are attractive and has a wandering eye for others and I need reassurance immediately. And when he gives me reassurance, I think he’s lying. After like an hour of back and forth repetitive conversation I feel better, then the next day it happens again. Every. Single. Day. I freak out and blow up and need reassurance. I can’t tell if I’m getting these thoughts because they are true or because I’ve been with someone in the past who has cheated on me so I believe that all people get these thoughts. I’m so ready for a cure. Does anyone know what to do? I don’t want to live with this