- Username
- Ocd brain
- Date posted
- 3y ago
This is hard! You are not alone in feeling this way. It’s sounds like a compulsion of yours is to ask him for reassurance- “checking to make sure he still likes you”. Next time, maybe try to see how long you can go without asking for reassurance. Instead, distract yourself by going outside, singing a song, etc. Try to have longer and longer time intervals from feeling the anxiety and the time You ask for reassurance. It’s hard! It makes you feel lonely, worried you might lose him, etc. He has stayed even during the times you thought he was going to leave.
Thank you! I really appreciate your response. I am starting today about trying to stop asking for reassurance. It is difficult! I did do ERP today, and my ERP exercise was geared more towards it is possible “x” can happen or it is possible “y” can happen and to just be okay with the uncertainty and listening to my recordings over and over again until I feel okay with it. Getting out of the house also helps a lot. Thank you 😊
If you can, don't try ignore your OCD - challenge it. Tell yourself that yeah, he might find other girls attractive, but he trusts me enough to say so. What's more loyal than that?
If you've really tried everything, I don't know. It's hard to say. But tbh, you're lucky right now. Now I don't mean what you're going through is good, it's not. We guys says stupid stuff all the time. But honestly if he can admit that to you straight up that he can find other girls attractive and still daybthat he wants to be with you than you must be a prize to him. You need to not worry about something like this, I know it's hard with uncertainty but it doesn't seem like he'll just ditch you.
Thank you! I appreciate this because I know what you mean, the situation could be much worse. My boyfriend is very loving and supportive of me and I know he would never do anything to hurt me… I don’t know why this bothers me so much, but I’m trying to work and get a handle on it now
me and my boyfriend have had periods where we fight a lot recently. Ever since then, a lot of people, strangers, coworkers, classmates, anytime, I am around them, I find them attractive, or find qualities about them that are attractive. I feel like maybe this happens because I am lacking something that my boyfriend is not giving me. I just don’t know what, I’m really sad because I really do love my boyfriend and I don’t want anyone else, but these thoughts are really hard to deal with. I also have coworkers that are males that I speak to at work, and I always get intrusive thoughts while I’m talking to them or after. I’m really scared. This means I’m a cheater, or about to cheat. A lot of things have happened to me and my boyfriend’s relationship, not cheating at all but you know there’s way more than that that can happen. I feel like a lot of things have happened that we need to discuss and it’s been weighing on me and causing these thoughts. I feel like maybe I have these thoughts about other people, but my OCD makes it more than what it is and gives me anxiety. Help :(
I get thoughts a lot that say people are attractive or not attractive, some of my compulsions are “checking” to make sure I don’t find them attractive or see if my thoughts are actually true… I know that doesn’t help ocd at all - I get that, but cmon you’ve all done compulsions before that’s a part of our disease. All I’m asking is if anyone else does these compulsions but hates doing it, it’s just because of fear or sometimes disgust that you’re having those thoughts - mind you I do understand it’s okay to find people attractive in a relationship, but my thoughts that pop up are alot to do with past people or people I just don’t want to think about. And sometimes when I have seen a look alike actor to one of those people it’ll start saying you find them hot, good looking, etc… when I confessed to my partner he told me just not to do that, like the checking stuff and analysing… so that makes me feel even more anxious and feel like I’m hyper focused on it now, like trying not to do it but when the thoughts come in I feel like I automatically try and reassure myself. I guess I’m asking if this is me doing something betraying to my partner or if it’s actually a compulsion and I know I should avoid any compulsions… but I don’t want to feel, on top of doing compulsions that I’m actually betraying my boyfriend, because he doesn’t understand some compulsions and probably thinks well why can’t you just not do that compulsion cause it makes him uncomfortable, and so now I just feel like if I do any checking compulsion I’m actually betraying him. :(
I think I have relationship OCD. I will be doing great with my boyfriend then out of no where I get this intrusive thought that he thinks other people are attractive and has a wandering eye for others and I need reassurance immediately. And when he gives me reassurance, I think he’s lying. After like an hour of back and forth repetitive conversation I feel better, then the next day it happens again. Every. Single. Day. I freak out and blow up and need reassurance. I can’t tell if I’m getting these thoughts because they are true or because I’ve been with someone in the past who has cheated on me so I believe that all people get these thoughts. I’m so ready for a cure. Does anyone know what to do? I don’t want to live with this
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