Hi guys I was wondering if anyone could give me some advice. I have struggled with ROCD for a long time now and it has been hard on my relationship. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for a year and a half and 2 weeks ago he admitted to me that he finds other girls attractive. It seems innocent to me and I know it is normal to find beauty in other people even when in a relationship. I know it’s normal, but I still cannot stop worrying about it. I worry he may find these girls more attractive than me and will develop feelings for them. My boyfriend says he doesn’t find them more attractive and that he only wants to be with me, but I can’t stop these thoughts. I have tried ERP exercises, talked to my therapist and asked my partner for reassurance which only helps temporarily and then the constant worry and agonizing intrusive thoughts come back. I don’t know what to do, I don’t want to worry about this anymore. I don’t want to live like this anymore. I just want to be able to accept this and move on.

This is hard! You are not alone in feeling this way. It’s sounds like a compulsion of yours is to ask him for reassurance- “checking to make sure he still likes you”. Next time, maybe try to see how long you can go without asking for reassurance. Instead, distract yourself by going outside, singing a song, etc. Try to have longer and longer time intervals from feeling the anxiety and the time You ask for reassurance. It’s hard! It makes you feel lonely, worried you might lose him, etc. He has stayed even during the times you thought he was going to leave.

If you can, don't try ignore your OCD - challenge it. Tell yourself that yeah, he might find other girls attractive, but he trusts me enough to say so. What's more loyal than that?

If you've really tried everything, I don't know. It's hard to say. But tbh, you're lucky right now. Now I don't mean what you're going through is good, it's not. We guys says stupid stuff all the time. But honestly if he can admit that to you straight up that he can find other girls attractive and still daybthat he wants to be with you than you must be a prize to him. You need to not worry about something like this, I know it's hard with uncertainty but it doesn't seem like he'll just ditch you.