- Username
- Anonymous
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Oh man, I’ve been here. But let me tell you that you’re worth more than you think. You deserve more and you are loved. I love you very much and I don’t know you because I can feel your pain. I know how that feeling of condemnation and depression can sink in and make you think you’re a monster. But you’re not, you’re beautiful, caring, magnificent and a great person. Please, please eat and remember that you don’t deserve to rot in bed. Truly, you don’t. Have mercy and love yourself. If you don’t love yourself, remember that I’m here and I love you. That’s good enough right? Consider me your virtual shoulder to cry on. I will be here for you and love you. God bless, stay strong ok? 💕
Thank u so much 🥺❤
I've bee. Right where you are with harm ocd directed toward my own children! I've had ocd all my life but ocd has a way of getting finding the one thing you are unable to accept. This to me is my kids....I love them so much that that is exactly what ocd latched on to. I still feel anxious and guilty for the thoughts and compultions associated. Erp is hard....very hard for me and has even made some new obsessions....but I know that the only way through ocd is through it. Staying in bed and not eating is so tempting and I've been there before....but it doesn't help on the journey through it. Make one small goal a day for 365 days and you will be surprised how far you can go.
Of course you deserve to live. You deserve everything good in your life. Who gets to decide you don’t deserve these things? Isn’t this just opinion? I believe everyone deserves to live. We all cause harm to others. It doesn’t mean we are worthless pieces of shit.
Please consider ERP. You need to speak to a professional who specializes in OCD. That will change everything. You have to be proactive or you won’t improve. So be brave and reach out for help if you haven’t yet.
Ypu seriously need to stop seeking reassurance and making yourself so sick. You’re making it worse for yourself at this point.
But I don't deserve anything, I don't know what to do
I feel suicidal Bc I have felt aroused by children and I can't make it go away. I'm convinced I'm a pedo and that's a death sentence for me. Ive felt arousal for same sex, animals, children, family members. I'm sick. And I feel hopeless.
Serious trigger warning here for POCD and suicide. I have these thoughts, urges, and feelings that are terrifying. I don’t act on them and I believe I would never act on them but it feels so real and horrible. I don’t know how this started and I want to believe I am a good person but I’m just so scared that I’m going to do something terrible. And even just these thoughts scare me to my core and make me think, “oh what if I am a pedophile” even though I know I’m not, and I don’t know how to deal with them. When I can keep myself busy it gets easier to forget this stuff, but if I have downtime I can’t get it out of my head. I had a young girl, most likely middle school age, come into my work with her parents today and I was terrified of the idea that I could be attracted to her. I don’t believe I truly am but my thoughts get so aggressive that I don’t even know what to believe. I avoid a lot of things but sometimes you don’t have the option to avoid and it just gets things further stuck in my head and I end up fixating on awful things. I wake up with this stuff floating around my mind and I can’t get it to go away. I’ve even considered just ending it to all to make it easier on myself and to make sure that I never have the opportunity to act on these horrible thoughts and feelings. I don’t ever want to do these things and I know it may sound ridiculous, but the consequences of these actions I haven’t committed scare me as well such as people no longer trusting or loving me, prison, hurting someone else in any way, not being a good person, etc. I just can’t find anything that helps fix this. I have broken down many times due to this issue and I feel like it’ll never go away. I know killing my sled is not the answer and I know I will never act on any of this but the thoughts and feelings are so aggressive that I live in an almost constant state of fear of my own mind and body. I hate this. What did I do to deserve to suffer this way? Why me? Why can’t I just be a normal person with normal human thoughts and why of all forms of OCD did it’s have to be this one? I don’t know what to do. Someone please help me fix this before I lose hope.
I’m actually convinced I’m a p…. I feel as though I’m a fraud faking to myself and everyone around me. I feel like I shouldn’t deserve to have friends or be around anyone because I am a p. Every thing I see, hear, it could be not child related, or it could, 24/7 I am getting intrusive thoughts saying these things to me. I get groinal responses that make it worse. I cry everyday. This has gotten so much worse. I am so sad. I don’t know what to do with myself I really want to give up. I just miss being a little kid, oblivious to the bad around me and I didn’t question if I was a bad person 24/7 all the time. I hate this so so bad I feel like I’m a bad person who doesn’t deserve anything in life, I don’t even feel like I deserve my family or to have a family of my own in the future.
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