- Username
- Ríona
- Date posted
- 5y ago
Absolutely I do. I have gotten to the point that I start wondering if I felt something.
Hey what are pocd and bocd?
From the Mindfulness for OCD Workbook: “Mental checking is also very common with feelings and physical sensations. If you struggle with contamination OCD, you may check mentally to see if you feel clean enough. If you struggle with obsessions about violence, sexual thoughts, or morality, you might repeatedly check to see if the emotions you are having in response to an event are appropriate. Like physical checking, it’s typically a brief, but repeated, act of returning to a scene. Just as you might check your watch noncompulsively to see if you are on time, you might, from compulsion, mentally check an idea to make sure it’s where it belongs in your mind. Here are some common things that someone with OCD might mentally check: -Whether emotions are appropriate to an event -A mental image of a locked door or a shut light switch, and so on -A sensation in the groin in the presence of a sexual obsession -Whether a belief still seems valid”
I believe I experienced the arousal non concordance/groinal response very heavily back in January, and my mind has been messed up ever since. I was hanging out with a coworker after work, we were chilling out, having a blunt, then my mind went stupid and said “I wonder if this is gay” because he also told me that he was bi but I didn’t pay it no mind. But after that thought, I immediately thought I was attracted to him. I was scared, because it never happened to me before. This hasn’t happened previously, and it set me in depression(still does with doubting here and there) that I was changing into one of my biggest fears. Then I found out about HOCD. I remember that the feeling I had did not feel the same physical response when I see my girlfriend. This feeling I had immediately made me shiver and have to pee really bad. I still do that. Since then I gave up weed for a bit.
Ok so I’ve been kind of upset about this all day so I figured I would share this. I’m really nervous doing it because I don’t want to get judged for it. I feel so guilty about it all the time. So a couple of years ago I was babysitting a family friends kid, and they were crawling all over me, jumping up and down, and I wound up having a groinal response (I really don’t wanna say the kind.) I kind of put it in the back of my mind and forgot about it, but around last year I remembered and latched onto it and it threw me into my OCD spiral. I remembered this happened maybe two other times before that, and of course I felt weird and guilty by it. I didn’t experience any sexual arousal, yet this happened to me. I always had sexually intrusive thoughts ever since I was a little kid, so perhaps I was just having a groinal response to when that was happening because I was thinking “omg what if...” or whatever, but of course I can’t remember my thoughts. Now I know what a groinal response is and that they come in all shapes and sizes (lol) but because this happened *before* I realized I had POCD, my brain has convinced me that it was some kind of genuine attraction and that I wanted to do something bad
POCD TW. Need some help. So, I’ve been struggling with what I hope is POCD since October. I’m a lot better now, but some days are still a huge struggle. I’ve never really had any groinal movements at all, which I found weird but was happy about it. But today, a kid at my job leaned against me and it made me kind of anxious, and then out of nowhere I felt something down there. And it was kind of a lot, I instantly felt awful. And have been ruminating since. I hated every second of it. It feels like every step forward I take something new happens to send me back. Not sure if this just proves I am what I fear, or I’m in denial. Or what. I’m just scared.
Been ruminating a lot on the fact that the groinal responses that I got that caused my OCD all happened with kids of the same gender, that’s been terrifying me lately. It’s making it feel more real ya know? That if it was just OCD/intrusive thoughts it would be gender specific. Have any of you guys had anything like this, where the same type of kid caused your OCD to start?
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