does anyone have any tips on connecting with your partner again? i feel so disconnected from him to the point where it feels like i don’t even know him and he’s a stranger.

Well my morning started off with the question “am I emotionally connected with my boyfriend?” It’s making me feel nervous and anxious. I’m scared again. I feel like I’m passed the whole “sexual attraction” thing. Now I’m just worried if I don’t connect with the opposite sex. My boyfriend is my best friend. We laugh together, we tell each other everything, we support each other. But I’m So scared. What if I don’t love him like I thought I did? I just now read articles on this stuff. “Signs you’re attached to your partner but not love them” , “signs you’re emotionally connected” , and all theses different ones. I hate this, why can I just be happy. Seriously, I can’t believe this Is happening to me. Can anyone give me any advice? Please.

I’m in a relapse of my rocd if we can call it that, it’s been months now and it’s so hard. I love my partner an amazing amount but everything I do tells me different. Rocd tells me I don’t love him, I don’t even like or care about him and it breaks my heart. All day long anytime I get excited or happy about something my rocd says that’s because you don’t love him anymore. It’s so hard as I have such a negative view of him with rocd and my mind won’t let me think of anything positive although I was so incredibly happy. He feels like a stranger to me I use to be so comfortable with him and he was my best friend and it just felt right. Even when I was experiencing rocd thoughts from my original episode I was able to work through and still be happy. This relapse is so hard. I’m not sure if I’m experiencing depersonalizations or not because when I read up what it is most people say they feel like they are in a dream. I don’t feel a dream as much as I don’t feel normal and don’t feel like me. I question everything I do from the time I get up till the time I go to bed. Before this relapse, would I have sat down and watched tv, would I have said or done this or that. Everything is a question and nothing feels normal. I don’t feel like me. Even being with my partner I wonder if I act/ think the same way. Would I normally say this in a text, would I normally sit beside him or was it okay if we didn’t cuddle every second we watched tv? When we slept before did I turn durning the night or did we cuddle the whole night? Did I give him a good morning kiss every morning? When I go to text him something my mind instantly checks to see if this was something I would have done before and then reminds me how everything feels so weird. Not just with him but with everything. Sometimes I look at my dog and I don’t even feel like she is the same. I’m just so worried I’m so focused on being normal again that I’ll never actually feel like me. Like I’ve been too far in this hole to get out.It just sucks and feels so wrong. I feel like others have days or moments when they get to feel somewhat normal around their partner but my rocd thoughts/ feelings just won’t let me. It’s been almost 4 months of waking up and not feeling the way I want to and feeling like a stranger. I’m in therapy, I’m doing other rocd work and it’s just sucks. I feel like I’m never going to be able to look or think about my partner and just be okay again. I don’t even care about feeling the in love feelings, I just want to feel like I’m fully committed to us and him again. He is my person and rocd is trying so hard to take him from me. I guess any tips for depersonalization that has lasted a long time?

I've delt with intrusive thoughts and feelings about my lack of emotional connection with my boyfriend for years. It's eating at me. I want to connect with him, and I want to feel it through me but I struggle so much and my brain is making me feel it's because I don't like him. But I know I do and I know he's my forever, but even as I write that I feel like a liar. I have a feeling my intrusive thoughts and feelings and depression have a lot to do with why I struggle on top of everything else that comes at our relationship, but as of late it feels like I don't care more casually. My chest doesn't tighten, I don't panic, I feel like it bother my less and I fucking hate it. I feel like I'm accepting some "truth" and I want it to piss me off but I just feel nothing. Have any of you experienced this? How do I fix it?