does anyone have any tips on connecting with your partner again? i feel so disconnected from him to the point where it feels like i don’t even know him and he’s a stranger.

I would be careful asking this. You have some sort of fear (that your relationship needs fixing) and are looking for some sort of strategy to fix the problem which is not recommended for those that struggle with OCD. There may or may not be problems in your relationship. Right now, if you are struggling with ROCD, you may not be in a place to know, because everything is a problem with ROCD. So the first step is really to focus on recovery rather than trying to fix a problem with the relationship. With that said, I have been practicing ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy; it was recommended on the OCD Stories Podcast) approaches and exercises lately to help with intrusive thoughts and rumination, and those have helped me deal with feelings of disconnection from my gf when my intrusive thoughts appear. And of course check out some resources on ERP as well.

Ugh...following. same. I blame ocd

I had that in the past. And it still happens to me sometimes. Just remember it's just another way for the ocd to get your attention. When my ocd was at its worst I was so confused about my feelings, because anxiety took its place. Now when I feel like that I try (I know it's hard) to ignore the feeling and live like it wasn't there. Because for me at least, the feeling of disconnect/not knowing him comes when my anxiety spikes (even though every time I think oh no this time it is true, but it never turns out to be lol) . And when it goes down again I can't even relate to that feeling anymore, so for me it's a theme. But if you truly feel disconnected and it's not a theme (which I can fully understand bc ocd can be so isolating) , then you can just try to maybe open up more to him, or go on nice dates with another. Be kind to him and let him be kind to you. Maybe light some candles and watch a movie, just be romantic and allow yourself to relax, not expecting to feel anything.

Have your feelings come back for your bf? I find that my anxiety has gone away, as so have most of the Intrusive thoughts, but 4 months later and I still don’t have feelings for my bf. I know I love him but I just wanna feel that love

I have been there too. I mean it's so different for everyone and I can only speak for myself. But often my ocd tried to convince myself that not feeling overly excited all the time means I don't love him, but that's not true. Anxiety can makes us so depressed that it's just hard to feel things. Anxiety makes you numb. If you say you know you love him then trust your feeling. But remember. Love isn't always infatuation or intense feelings. It can just be expressed in wanting to spend time with someone and just liking their company. Love isn't always super intense.

Also: for me ocd tried to convince me that I wasn't anxious anymore, that now the thoughts were just true. Turns out, once again that was a lie for me. I was anxious but it didn't feel like it

feeling the exact same way also like i don’t even care anymore