- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I would be careful asking this. You have some sort of fear (that your relationship needs fixing) and are looking for some sort of strategy to fix the problem which is not recommended for those that struggle with OCD. There may or may not be problems in your relationship. Right now, if you are struggling with ROCD, you may not be in a place to know, because everything is a problem with ROCD. So the first step is really to focus on recovery rather than trying to fix a problem with the relationship. With that said, I have been practicing ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy; it was recommended on the OCD Stories Podcast) approaches and exercises lately to help with intrusive thoughts and rumination, and those have helped me deal with feelings of disconnection from my gf when my intrusive thoughts appear. And of course check out some resources on ERP as well.
- Date posted
- 3y
I love you name on here! And yes I agree with that! Asking for reassurance isn't going to help in the long run :(
- Date posted
- 3y
Ugh...following. same. I blame ocd
- Date posted
- 3y
I had that in the past. And it still happens to me sometimes. Just remember it's just another way for the ocd to get your attention. When my ocd was at its worst I was so confused about my feelings, because anxiety took its place. Now when I feel like that I try (I know it's hard) to ignore the feeling and live like it wasn't there. Because for me at least, the feeling of disconnect/not knowing him comes when my anxiety spikes (even though every time I think oh no this time it is true, but it never turns out to be lol) . And when it goes down again I can't even relate to that feeling anymore, so for me it's a theme. But if you truly feel disconnected and it's not a theme (which I can fully understand bc ocd can be so isolating) , then you can just try to maybe open up more to him, or go on nice dates with another. Be kind to him and let him be kind to you. Maybe light some candles and watch a movie, just be romantic and allow yourself to relax, not expecting to feel anything.
- Date posted
- 3y
But yeah I think my personal experience is that it's a theme. So don't give it attention, and don't forget doing your erp's :)
- Date posted
- 3y
i don’t even have any anxiety with the thoughts right now because i’m so numb to everything
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Have your feelings come back for your bf? I find that my anxiety has gone away, as so have most of the Intrusive thoughts, but 4 months later and I still don’t have feelings for my bf. I know I love him but I just wanna feel that love
- Date posted
- 3y
my anxiety has also gone away. yet i feel so numb to everything still especially him
- Date posted
- 3y
I have been there too. I mean it's so different for everyone and I can only speak for myself. But often my ocd tried to convince myself that not feeling overly excited all the time means I don't love him, but that's not true. Anxiety can makes us so depressed that it's just hard to feel things. Anxiety makes you numb. If you say you know you love him then trust your feeling. But remember. Love isn't always infatuation or intense feelings. It can just be expressed in wanting to spend time with someone and just liking their company. Love isn't always super intense.
- Date posted
- 3y
Also: for me ocd tried to convince me that I wasn't anxious anymore, that now the thoughts were just true. Turns out, once again that was a lie for me. I was anxious but it didn't feel like it
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Yea that’s how my ocd tells me to.
- Date posted
- 3y
feeling the exact same way also like i don’t even care anymore
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
My boyfriend told me that he feels like he’s losing me, that I’ve changed, and that I don’t seem happy to see him anymore. I know that this should hurt me deeply, but when he said it, I didn’t feel anything. And now I’m terrified. Why didn’t I react? Why didn’t I feel instant sadness or guilt? It’s like I was emotionally blocked, like I didn’t care at all—and that thought is destroying me. What if this means I don’t love him? What if I’ve just been lying to myself and I don’t want to accept the truth? I feel so disconnected and numb. My brain keeps telling me: “If you really cared, you would feel something.” But instead, I feel nothing. And the fact that I feel nothing makes me panic even more. I don’t know what’s happening to me. I used to feel so much, and now it’s like I can’t access my emotions at all. I don’t want to lose him. I don’t want to feel like this forever. I just want to feel normal again
- Date posted
- 23w
Lately, I’ve been feeling so disconnected from my boyfriend, and I don’t understand why. When I look at him, it feels like I’m looking at a stranger, and my mind keeps telling me that I don’t like him, that I never really loved him, or that I was just attached and comfortable. It feels real, and that terrifies me. I know logically that ROCD makes me overanalyze every little feeling, but it doesn’t make this any easier. I keep waiting to feel something—love, excitement, even relief—but instead, I just feel numb and distant. When we talk, I feel weird. When he kisses me, I don’t feel much. I keep thinking, ‘If I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel something?’ And the fact that I don’t just fuels my anxiety even more. It scares me that I can’t remember how I felt before ROCD took over. I look at old pictures, and my brain tells me, ‘That wasn’t real, you were just excited to have a relationship.’ And because I can’t access those feelings right now, it makes me doubt everything even more. I also feel guilty because my boyfriend is so loving and patient, but I feel like I’m hurting him. He tells me he doesn’t feel loved by me anymore, and I hate that I can’t just snap out of this and be the way I was before. It’s exhausting. I don’t know what’s real anymore. I keep checking how I feel every second, and it just makes me feel worse. I know that’s a compulsion, but it’s so hard to stop. I keep searching for certainty, but no answer satisfies me. Even when I try to accept the uncertainty, my mind screams, ‘But what if you don’t love him? What if you’re just lying to yourself?’ I want to be present with him. I want to feel love naturally again. But I don’t know how to get there, and it’s terrifying.”
- Date posted
- 13w
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
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