🤎
- Date posted
- 3y
CaptainKierkegaardCaptainKierk...
- Date posted
- 3y
I would be careful asking this. You have some sort of fear (that your relationship needs fixing) and are looking for some sort of strategy to fix the problem which is not recommended for those that struggle with OCD. There may or may not be problems in your relationship. Right now, if you are struggling with ROCD, you may not be in a place to know, because everything is a problem with ROCD. So the first step is really to focus on recovery rather than trying to fix a problem with the relationship. With that said, I have been practicing ACT (Acceptance Commitment Therapy; it was recommended on the OCD Stories Podcast) approaches and exercises lately to help with intrusive thoughts and rumination, and those have helped me deal with feelings of disconnection from my gf when my intrusive thoughts appear. And of course check out some resources on ERP as well.
k-low k-low
- Date posted
- 3y
I love you name on here! And yes I agree with that! Asking for reassurance isn't going to help in the long run :(
nochristinanochristina
- Date posted
- 3y
Ugh...following. same. I blame ocd
k-low k-low
- Date posted
- 3y
I had that in the past. And it still happens to me sometimes. Just remember it's just another way for the ocd to get your attention. When my ocd was at its worst I was so confused about my feelings, because anxiety took its place. Now when I feel like that I try (I know it's hard) to ignore the feeling and live like it wasn't there. Because for me at least, the feeling of disconnect/not knowing him comes when my anxiety spikes (even though every time I think oh no this time it is true, but it never turns out to be lol) . And when it goes down again I can't even relate to that feeling anymore, so for me it's a theme. But if you truly feel disconnected and it's not a theme (which I can fully understand bc ocd can be so isolating) , then you can just try to maybe open up more to him, or go on nice dates with another. Be kind to him and let him be kind to you. Maybe light some candles and watch a movie, just be romantic and allow yourself to relax, not expecting to feel anything.
k-low k-low
- Date posted
- 3y
But yeah I think my personal experience is that it's a theme. So don't give it attention, and don't forget doing your erp's :)
🤎🤎
- Date posted
- 3y
i don’t even have any anxiety with the thoughts right now because i’m so numb to everything
LoverGirlLoverGirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Have your feelings come back for your bf? I find that my anxiety has gone away, as so have most of the Intrusive thoughts, but 4 months later and I still don’t have feelings for my bf. I know I love him but I just wanna feel that love
🤎🤎
- Date posted
- 3y
my anxiety has also gone away. yet i feel so numb to everything still especially him
k-low k-low
- Date posted
- 3y
I have been there too. I mean it's so different for everyone and I can only speak for myself. But often my ocd tried to convince myself that not feeling overly excited all the time means I don't love him, but that's not true. Anxiety can makes us so depressed that it's just hard to feel things. Anxiety makes you numb. If you say you know you love him then trust your feeling. But remember. Love isn't always infatuation or intense feelings. It can just be expressed in wanting to spend time with someone and just liking their company. Love isn't always super intense.
k-low k-low
- Date posted
- 3y
Also: for me ocd tried to convince me that I wasn't anxious anymore, that now the thoughts were just true. Turns out, once again that was a lie for me. I was anxious but it didn't feel like it
LoverGirlLoverGirl
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Yea that’s how my ocd tells me to.
getwellsoon getwellsoon
- Date posted
- 3y
feeling the exact same way also like i don’t even care anymore
Related posts
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 16w
would like a response
Lately, I’ve been feeling like something has changed in me — like I have changed, and like my feelings for my boyfriend have faded or shifted. It’s one of the worst sensations I’ve ever felt. I keep thinking things like “I don’t love him like before” or “I’ve changed too much to feel anything now.” Sometimes when he calls me or makes a joke, I get irritated for no reason. I feel like I’m being mean, cold, disconnected — and then guilt crashes down on me. I remember how I used to feel: warm, close, expressive. And now… I just don’t feel the same. That makes me think: “Maybe I’ve fallen out of love.” But I’m also constantly anxious. I overthink every moment. I can’t relax into anything without analyzing if what I feel is “right.” It makes me wonder — maybe I haven’t actually changed. Maybe I’m just overwhelmed and tired from months of these thoughts and fears. I don’t know how to feel right now. I just want to believe that this disconnection isn’t proof that love is gone, but a sign that I’m scared and burnt out.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 15w
i need help, i dont know what is happening
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
Mariabae
- Date posted
- 15w
i cant do it
I feel like I’m falling apart. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 2 years. He’s kind, loving, supportive — and I know he loves me deeply. But I can’t feel anything anymore. I sit next to him, and I feel numb. I kiss him, and it feels empty. I remember how I used to feel, and now… nothing. It terrifies me. The worst part is that I don’t even know what’s real anymore. I constantly question if I ever loved him, if I’m just forcing things out of guilt or fear. Sometimes I imagine breaking up, and I feel nothing — and that scares me even more. I keep thinking: if I really loved him, wouldn’t I feel it? I’ve read about ROCD. I want to believe that’s what this is. But the thoughts feel so real. And I can’t stop spiraling. My therapist didn’t help — she made me feel like maybe I was lying to myself. My mom either tells me to stop overthinking or gets angry. I have no one to really talk to. If anyone here has been through this — through the numbness, the “what if I never loved him?” thoughts, the feeling like it’s all fake — please tell me how you got through. I’m exhausted. I just want to feel peace again.
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