Day 3 on Zoloft 50mg and I feel so hopeless, anxious, like these obsessive thoughts will never go away!!! I’m scared. Why do I have such bad thoughts of my family :(

I’ve never been the type of person to open up about myself but these last 3 months have been the hardest, worst time of my life. I’m 16 years old, and I’ve been anxious and had anxiety my whole life. Over the last couple years I’ve learned how to cope with my anxiety and be a happy person. But one night in January, i was watching random videos on YouTube, and a video about serial killers came on. I’ve always been interested in crime shows/documentaries, so I didn’t think twice before deciding to click on it. In the middle of the video I had this intrusive thought that said “why do people murder loved ones or innocent people” and “what does it feel like to kill somebody” I am not aggressive, or have ever caused harm, but these thoughts scared me to death. I felt a instant shock of anxiety and panic immediately. I thought something was wrong with me. I turned my phone off and went to bed hoping the next day I would forget about it. Unfortunately I never forgot about the thoughts, and still have intrusive thoughts that affect my day to day life. I feel so hopeless, even after seeing a therapist, and being on Prozac for 5 weeks I don’t feel a difference. Every time I try to be positive and tell myself “they’re just thoughts” ocd tells me, “yeah sure, but what if you did these things”? “What if you WANT to do these things”? I stress that I might actually want to do these horrible things secretly and am convinced that one day I will commit these crimes. I don’t know what to do anymore, I feel so hopeless, and even being around my girlfriend who used to bring me so much joy, I still can’t be my regular self. Please I feel so hopeless and sad I can’t even do the things I used to enjoy, remembering I have these thoughts is with me 24/7 from the second I wake up to the second I fall asleep. Anybody have advice? Sorry for the rant I just needed to get this off my chest. I just want to be normal again and enjoy being around my family and my girlfriend again

My intrusive images have gone away but now every day I feel anxious and cannot stop thinking about “if my intrusive thoughts” come back. It’s almost like I’m having anxiety about anxiety 😞. Been struggling for almost two months and just started medication yesterday for the first time. Will this constant anxious feeling and thinking about it all day everyday ever go away? Really struggling today.

I have been having obsessive thoughts on life and what the point there is to anything as we all die. It started as an anxiety attack from thinking about death and how quickly time goes then lead on to these thoughts about questioning absolutely everything. There isnt a minute in the day where I don’t think about this 😞 When I try to sit with that thought of things being pointless and meaningless and act normal it’s like my brain is saying that I’m putting on act, that I should be sad and depressed by this. I just think constantly why am I thinking these things or why am I always thinking about how I’m feeling or if I have become a different person. I’ve just started Sertraline and found my thoughts have just got more worse. Just looking for words of encouragement and support.