anyone else had ocd from a very young age? I’m talking like, I remember obsessions from when I was 6. and my family remembers my symptoms from even earlier. I didn’t get help until I was 15 because my family isn’t big on mental health. anyway, it frustrates me that I genuinely don’t know what it’s like to live without ocd. Sometimes I hear/see people talk about how they just wish things could back to how they were ‘before,’ or that imagining what their life was like before onset helps motivate them in recovery. But I don’t have anything like that. in fact, it’s almost scary to think about recovering completely because I don’t know anything else? it depresses me

m.a.d.

Date posted: 6y

I was diagnosed for the first time about 5 months ago and while I could see that my symptoms were OCD, being diagnosed professionally made me feel so much relief. And being on this app and researching more has taught me that all of those things that made me feel ‘weird’ and like there was something wrong with me were the OCD too, but just manifesting in a different way.

m.a.d.

Date posted: 6y

yes yes yes. I’ve had obsessions for as long as I can remember and always knew that I was a ‘worrier’ but now I can see that it was alllll textbook OCD. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me said that it’s common for onset to be around age 7. But I completely get what you mean. It’s sad to think that we didn’t get to have a childhood without such debilitating fear. And I feel like i’ve built my identity around OCD (and compulsions) to the point that I literally do not know who I am without it. But I think it’s important to remember that having OCD, while horrible, has taught us other things that some people may not have had to learn, like resilience, courage, coping skills, empathy, etc. I think it’s possible to recognize that our OCD has affected our lives completely (and unfortunately it will always be there to some degree), but that it doesn’t need to control our lives going forward as we recover. I try and remind myself that I can get rid of the bad parts of OCD but hold on to those positive traits that it has left me with.

heliocd

Date posted: 6y

I completely relate to you and the last comment! Unfortunately, I didn’t realize what having ocd really meant until the last year or so, I am 20. That is what I mean myself when I refer to before, before I knew, before the label. It took me being hospitalized for anorexia and attempted suicide multiple times as well explaining to doctors that it was a control issue more than anything. Of course I do have OCD in connection to body dysmorphia, I chose to starve myself over other methods because of the fact that I could control my food /calorie intake. Realizing now that a lot of my anxiety/depression/body dysmorphia is a result of my OCD rather than individual conditions has been really hard to me and I have experience really similar feelings myself recently. It is important to remember that while OCD may be a part of your life and everyday battles, it is not a part of you and does not define you. You are you, and who you choose to be is determined by your choices and your actions, not your thoughts. Love yourself, be yourself and do your best to find ways to be happy in just that, by whatever (healthy!) means necessary. Everything else will fall into place, remember to believe in yourself! Your strength has gotten you this far, a label does not change the battles you have fought and won (or lost and learned from) thus far. As a fellow person, and OCD affected, I know you are strong and you can keep going. I believe in you!

heliocd

Date posted: 6y

Also, yes I do remember that! It was like everything connected all of a sudden and while it could be overwhelming at times, it was a relief to know there was one roof cause to address, rather than several.

cIumsy

Date posted: 6y

both these replies have been really helpful. I had a similar experience where it took a hospitalization for me to finally get help and realize ocd had been the underlying cause of a bunch of different issues I experienced. often times I feel like I lost my childhood to ocd. But in the end I can’t change that anymore and I need to remember that my struggle has also been a learning experience, and that ocd doesn’t define me. thanks guys :’)

cIumsy

Date posted: 6y

on another note: do you all remember that moment when you were finally diagnosed and suddenly everything made sense?? esp with early onset its like ‘oh, so I wasn’t just a freak kid’ lol

heliocd

Date posted: 6y

Of course, I’m glad I could help and good luck!

heliocd

Date posted: 6y

Root*

strawberryjax

Date posted: 22w

hey. i have contamination ocd and this is my life.

back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.

Kammy

Date posted: 20w

This is draining

I started dealing with OCD when I became fixated on health issues, particularly the fear of contracting a life-threatening disease. If I experienced any kind of medical symptom, no matter how small, that even remotely hinted at something potentially fatal, it would drive me crazy, and I couldn’t stop obsessing over it. Then one day, I started having intrusive thoughts about accidentally hitting someone with my car, and I would end up driving in circles to check if I had. Eventually, I found myself overwhelmed by a flood of new obsessive thoughts and compulsions. One day, while I was at the park, a squirrel came near me, and for some reason, I felt like it attacked me. I Googled it and learned that squirrels could carry rabies, which spiraled me into a deep fear of rabies. I became consumed with the thought I received a bite from a squirrel, raccoon, or bat any time I’m in areas that trigger me. It started off only being inside then transferred to even being in my own home. This made me obsess over every physical sensation in my body, compulsively checking to make sure nothing was wrong. One compulsion that I hated the most would to be putting rubbing alcohol on me to make sure that I had no open wounds. Every day feels like I’m walking around in a fog of anxiety, constantly worrying that I won’t even make it to old age. Sometimes, it gets so overwhelming that I just want it all to end. It stresses me so bad at times to where my brain feels like I’ve been studying all day.

Vangogh00021

Date posted: 8w

Any OCD over comers ?? How long did it took ?

I’m so scared I’ll be stuck in this forever soo soo scared

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