- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I was diagnosed for the first time about 5 months ago and while I could see that my symptoms were OCD, being diagnosed professionally made me feel so much relief. And being on this app and researching more has taught me that all of those things that made me feel ‘weird’ and like there was something wrong with me were the OCD too, but just manifesting in a different way.
- Date posted
- 6y
yes yes yes. I’ve had obsessions for as long as I can remember and always knew that I was a ‘worrier’ but now I can see that it was alllll textbook OCD. The psychiatrist who diagnosed me said that it’s common for onset to be around age 7. But I completely get what you mean. It’s sad to think that we didn’t get to have a childhood without such debilitating fear. And I feel like i’ve built my identity around OCD (and compulsions) to the point that I literally do not know who I am without it. But I think it’s important to remember that having OCD, while horrible, has taught us other things that some people may not have had to learn, like resilience, courage, coping skills, empathy, etc. I think it’s possible to recognize that our OCD has affected our lives completely (and unfortunately it will always be there to some degree), but that it doesn’t need to control our lives going forward as we recover. I try and remind myself that I can get rid of the bad parts of OCD but hold on to those positive traits that it has left me with.
- Date posted
- 6y
I completely relate to you and the last comment! Unfortunately, I didn’t realize what having ocd really meant until the last year or so, I am 20. That is what I mean myself when I refer to before, before I knew, before the label. It took me being hospitalized for anorexia and attempted suicide multiple times as well explaining to doctors that it was a control issue more than anything. Of course I do have OCD in connection to body dysmorphia, I chose to starve myself over other methods because of the fact that I could control my food /calorie intake. Realizing now that a lot of my anxiety/depression/body dysmorphia is a result of my OCD rather than individual conditions has been really hard to me and I have experience really similar feelings myself recently. It is important to remember that while OCD may be a part of your life and everyday battles, it is not a part of you and does not define you. You are you, and who you choose to be is determined by your choices and your actions, not your thoughts. Love yourself, be yourself and do your best to find ways to be happy in just that, by whatever (healthy!) means necessary. Everything else will fall into place, remember to believe in yourself! Your strength has gotten you this far, a label does not change the battles you have fought and won (or lost and learned from) thus far. As a fellow person, and OCD affected, I know you are strong and you can keep going. I believe in you!
- Date posted
- 6y
Also, yes I do remember that! It was like everything connected all of a sudden and while it could be overwhelming at times, it was a relief to know there was one roof cause to address, rather than several.
- Date posted
- 6y
both these replies have been really helpful. I had a similar experience where it took a hospitalization for me to finally get help and realize ocd had been the underlying cause of a bunch of different issues I experienced. often times I feel like I lost my childhood to ocd. But in the end I can’t change that anymore and I need to remember that my struggle has also been a learning experience, and that ocd doesn’t define me. thanks guys :’)
- Date posted
- 6y
on another note: do you all remember that moment when you were finally diagnosed and suddenly everything made sense?? esp with early onset its like ‘oh, so I wasn’t just a freak kid’ lol
- Date posted
- 6y
Of course, I’m glad I could help and good luck!
- Date posted
- 6y
Root*
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 22w
Looking back, I realize I’ve had OCD since I was 7. though I wasn’t diagnosed until I was 30. As a kid, I was consumed by fears I couldn’t explain: "What if God isn’t real? What happens when we die? How do I know I’m real?" These existential thoughts terrified me, and while everyone has them from time to time, I felt like they were consuming my life. By 12, I was having daily panic attacks about death and war, feeling untethered from reality as depersonalization and derealization set in. At 15, I turned to drinking, spending the next 15 years drunk, trying to escape my mind. I hated myself, struggled with my body, and my intrusive thoughts. Sobriety forced me to face it all head-on. In May 2022, I finally learned I had OCD. I remember the exact date: May 10th. Reading about it, I thought, "Oh my God, this is it. This explains everything." My main themes were existential OCD and self-harm intrusive thoughts. The self-harm fears were the hardest: "What if I kill myself? What if I lose control?" These thoughts terrified me because I didn’t want to die. ERP changed everything. At first, I thought, "You want me to confront my worst fears? Are you kidding me?" But ERP is gradual and done at your pace. My therapist taught me to lean into uncertainty instead of fighting it. She’d say, "Maybe you’ll kill yourself—who knows?" At first, it felt scary, but for OCD, it was freeing. Slowly, I realized my thoughts were just thoughts. ERP gave me my life back. I’m working again, I’m sober, and for the first time, I can imagine a future. If you’re scared to try ERP, I get it. But if you’re already living in fear, why not try a set of tools that can give you hope?
- Date posted
- 18w
(20f) I have been dealing with severe OCD symptoms for as long as I can remember. I recently got diagnosed about a year ago, and even though I know that these thoughts are probably my ocd, I still cant shake them. Growing up I was always very sexually curious. I was sheltered from a lot of things, as I went to a private school and things like sexuality and sex were never talked about. I remember doing some weird sexual things growing up (never affecting another person), looking up taboo sexual things, etc. I always seemed to become aroused no matter what the situation was, even if I just saw someone getting changed. I have no recollection of being SA'd, so i'm wondering where this all came from? Was I just curious and wanted to experiment and try different things? Or am I really a pervert, pedophile, etc. I have all these thoughts racing through my head and it's killing me. Everything I did as a kid I look back on and am disgusted, as those don't align with my views at all today. I never thought growing up thinking these things were wrong, or actually realize what they were until I got older. I'd like to think it was just my curiosity, but i'm not sure. What if i'm in denial and actually do like these things? I just need to know if theres something wrong w me, I cant keep going on like this. Could really use some advice.
- Date posted
- 18w
i’ve been dealing with this “thing” since i was 15. (i’m 23 now) if i have a bad memory that i have done when i was really young or just an intrusive thought i feel like i need to tell my mom or boyfriend. it’s been on and off ever since but since January hit it’s been an everyday thing about the littlest things. mostly about my relationship. an example is i was talking to someone random at my job and we were talking about taxes and when im in deep thought or just thinking i do a thing where i bite my lip (not in the sexual way) and i had a thought when it happened “was that sexual?” and i felt like i did something wrong and i went for a while thinking that until i told my boyfriend about it. or like my ex’s face has popped up in my head in the most inappropriate times and i feel the need that i have to tell him. (my ex was not a good person) i feel like im a prisoner in my head everyday, trying to justify thoughts or remind myself that its just a thought. i didnt know that this was or could be a form of ocd. it runs in my family but i’ve just never considered it being this. i always called it anxiety or depression but i always felt like it is more than that.
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