How do I tell if I’m in denial or if I may have rocd? It’s been getting really hard lately I’ve been getting a lot of thoughts about my girlfriend, but then I have little moments where all the thoughts and feelings just stop and I know I love her. I don’t understand what’s happening to me. If I didn’t really love her I wouldn’t want to keep going right? And I’m not scared to break up with her, I just don’t want to be without her I love her. I don’t get it.

It’s def ROCD you know by the “what if’s” for me it’s like “what if I downloaded tinder and cheated on my bf” that’s my theme .

Okay, but sometimes instead of thoughts I get feelings, like sometimes I feel empty talking to her or numb or anxious. Sometimes my mind finds a reason for me to feel guilty even though I don’t have any

@Samuel.deJong Not the kind of guilt from the thought of cheating or anything like that

@Samuel.deJong I get feelings too , anxiety connected with OCD can be very physical . There is a huge list of physical side effects of anxiety . I get the guilty chest feeling like I’ve done something wrong . And will check messages look at dates to make sure it was before we dated . Even message people to give me reassurance that nothing happened . Just because it’s physically effecting you too Dosent mean it’s true . Our minds are powerful .

@Princessbubblegum Okay thank you

You said it yourself you love her , that’s that. The only thing beyond that Is your mind messing with ya.

Yeah

My therapist used a really good analogy for me the other day that may help you: Imagine the times in your life when you knew that there was a problem that you had to fix. How did you go about fixing it? Was there this back and forth in your mind that came to no solution? Or did you have a straight answer and got to it. That’s how you know it’s OCD talking when you are on a wheel and it offers no solution

Well there’s a solution which would be breaking up with her but I don’t want to. Thank you for that it kind of helps me, I’m just worried because I know I can just give into the thoughts and break up with her and it will probably go away but I love her and she’s my best friend I don’t want to. But today I’ve gotten the urge to break up with her and it’s really strong but I don’t want to do it and I don’t think I’ll bring myself to do it either. I just want it to go.

I’ve been doing through exactly this lately too. It came and lasted a few weeks, then went away for a few week then i got super stressed out last weekend and it came back. It sucks and it hurts, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too.

Going through *

Yeah sorry you’ve been going through it too. Do you ever wake up with an empty feeling in your stomach like you’ve lost feelings completely?

@Samuel.deJong Every single day lately. My anxiety and ocd seems to be the worst in the mornings

@lbarton04 Do you ever get a really strong urge to end things with your partner?

@Samuel.deJong That’s what my anxiety is from. A super strong urge to just pack up and run. And is like i know i don’t “want to”. And having the urge makes feel so bad and so scared

@Samuel.deJong But it feels so real sometimes it makes me question my own sanity

@lbarton04 Yeah it does feel super real sometimes and that’s when it’s the hardest

@Samuel.deJong Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be going through this just because I’m so young and that just makes me think I should just end it but I don’t want to

@Samuel.deJong It’s such a struggle. We deserve to be happy and be with our person that we choose. We can’t let ocd ruin our lives and relationships. If you let it ruin this one it’ll ruin any future ones too, don’t let it win

@lbarton04 Okay I won’t let it ruin it. Thanks for helping me

@Samuel.deJong Of course! You honestly helped me too cause i thought i was so alone in this

@lbarton04 That’s great! I’m really glad! It’s so much easier knowing that someone else feels the same way and it feels like it weakens the thoughts feelings and urges also

@Samuel.deJong 100%!! And someone experiencing the same exact thing shows that it IS ocd and isnt us being in denial

@lbarton04 Yes exactly! Sorry one more question but when you’re around your partner do you get this weird feeling it’s kind of like anxiety but without the stomach ache? I’m not sure how to explain it

@Samuel.deJong When my anxiety is bad i get almost a hollow feeling sometimes, like i feel numb. And when i think of something that makes me feel bad, my stomach drops.

@Samuel.deJong And don’t apologize for asking questions! I’m more than happy to answer anything at all!!!

@lbarton04 Okay thank you!!

@Samuel.deJong I’m going to do my first NOCD therapy session today for it. I will let you know how it goes!

@lbarton04 Okay I do want to here about it

@Samuel.deJong Do you have Facebook or Instagram? (And are we allowed to exchange social media on here?) lol

@lbarton04 Yeah I have Instagram but just so you know I’m 17. My Instagram is Samuel.de_jong

Hi! This can be so difficult and is a question I get a lot when working with people who have ROCD. I think the biggest red flag for me and OCD's giveaway is a sense of urgency and wanting to know 100%. Remember, it is normal for people in relationships to have waxing and waning feelings as well as feelings of unattraction, wanting to break up, etc. OCD will make you misinterpret these normal feelings in a way that makes you feel that somehow they are more important, more significant. Try to move forward with your relationship AS THOUGH You did not have doubts, AS THOUGH you did not have these thoughts - act behaviorally as though you do not have ROCD which i know sounds so much easier said than done - but you can do it. good luck

Okay thank you!

@Samuel.deJong The therapy session went well and was helpful. Just hearing her say it’s ocd took away some of the anxiety from it

@lbarton04 That’s great to hear! I can’t remember if I told you but I haven’t been diagnosed yet but my appointment is next Monday so I’m hoping I get it, I don’t want it but I don’t want my relationship being taken either.

@lbarton04 Hey sorry to bother you but I was hanging out with my girlfriend today and I got a thought telling me that I’m too young for a serious relationship but I’ve never thought about that before and i don’t actually think that but it kind of ruined my mood for the day and it made it so that I have that weird anxiety but not anxiety feeling. It sucked. I’m pretty sure it’s an intrusive thought just from the way it makes me feel but it’s so hard. I need help but I don’t know what to do

@Samuel.deJong I do something similar. I’ll have negative things pop into my head about my relationship or things that aren’t necessarily ideal about it. Just know that you’re not too young for a serious relationship! Live day to day, and remember when it comes to overcoming ocd and anxiety, a wall is built 1 brick at a time, so it takes woek and dedication but the end result is worth it