Samuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
Jenna OverbaughJenna Overbaugh
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! This can be so difficult and is a question I get a lot when working with people who have ROCD. I think the biggest red flag for me and OCD's giveaway is a sense of urgency and wanting to know 100%. Remember, it is normal for people in relationships to have waxing and waning feelings as well as feelings of unattraction, wanting to break up, etc. OCD will make you misinterpret these normal feelings in a way that makes you feel that somehow they are more important, more significant. Try to move forward with your relationship AS THOUGH You did not have doubts, AS THOUGH you did not have these thoughts - act behaviorally as though you do not have ROCD which i know sounds so much easier said than done - but you can do it. good luck
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
Okay thank you!
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong The therapy session went well and was helpful. Just hearing her say it’s ocd took away some of the anxiety from it
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 That’s great to hear! I can’t remember if I told you but I haven’t been diagnosed yet but my appointment is next Monday so I’m hoping I get it, I don’t want it but I don’t want my relationship being taken either.
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 Hey sorry to bother you but I was hanging out with my girlfriend today and I got a thought telling me that I’m too young for a serious relationship but I’ve never thought about that before and i don’t actually think that but it kind of ruined my mood for the day and it made it so that I have that weird anxiety but not anxiety feeling. It sucked. I’m pretty sure it’s an intrusive thought just from the way it makes me feel but it’s so hard. I need help but I don’t know what to do
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong I do something similar. I’ll have negative things pop into my head about my relationship or things that aren’t necessarily ideal about it. Just know that you’re not too young for a serious relationship! Live day to day, and remember when it comes to overcoming ocd and anxiety, a wall is built 1 brick at a time, so it takes woek and dedication but the end result is worth it
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 Okay thank you
Jaden5Jaden5
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
My therapist used a really good analogy for me the other day that may help you: Imagine the times in your life when you knew that there was a problem that you had to fix. How did you go about fixing it? Was there this back and forth in your mind that came to no solution? Or did you have a straight answer and got to it. That’s how you know it’s OCD talking when you are on a wheel and it offers no solution
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
Well there’s a solution which would be breaking up with her but I don’t want to. Thank you for that it kind of helps me, I’m just worried because I know I can just give into the thoughts and break up with her and it will probably go away but I love her and she’s my best friend I don’t want to. But today I’ve gotten the urge to break up with her and it’s really strong but I don’t want to do it and I don’t think I’ll bring myself to do it either. I just want it to go.
Pepperonimuffin420Pepperonimuf...
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s def ROCD you know by the “what if’s” for me it’s like “what if I downloaded tinder and cheated on my bf” that’s my theme .
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
Okay, but sometimes instead of thoughts I get feelings, like sometimes I feel empty talking to her or numb or anxious. Sometimes my mind finds a reason for me to feel guilty even though I don’t have any
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong Not the kind of guilt from the thought of cheating or anything like that
Pepperonimuffin420Pepperonimuf...
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong I get feelings too , anxiety connected with OCD can be very physical . There is a huge list of physical side effects of anxiety . I get the guilty chest feeling like I’ve done something wrong . And will check messages look at dates to make sure it was before we dated . Even message people to give me reassurance that nothing happened . Just because it’s physically effecting you too Dosent mean it’s true . Our minds are powerful .
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@Princessbubblegum Okay thank you
Pepperonimuffin420Pepperonimuf...
- Date posted
- 3y
You said it yourself you love her , that’s that. The only thing beyond that Is your mind messing with ya.
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve been doing through exactly this lately too. It came and lasted a few weeks, then went away for a few week then i got super stressed out last weekend and it came back. It sucks and it hurts, and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it too.
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
Going through *
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
Yeah sorry you’ve been going through it too. Do you ever wake up with an empty feeling in your stomach like you’ve lost feelings completely?
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong Every single day lately. My anxiety and ocd seems to be the worst in the mornings
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 Do you ever get a really strong urge to end things with your partner?
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong That’s what my anxiety is from. A super strong urge to just pack up and run. And is like i know i don’t “want to”. And having the urge makes feel so bad and so scared
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong But it feels so real sometimes it makes me question my own sanity
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 Yeah it does feel super real sometimes and that’s when it’s the hardest
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong Sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be going through this just because I’m so young and that just makes me think I should just end it but I don’t want to
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong It’s such a struggle. We deserve to be happy and be with our person that we choose. We can’t let ocd ruin our lives and relationships. If you let it ruin this one it’ll ruin any future ones too, don’t let it win
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 Okay I won’t let it ruin it. Thanks for helping me
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong Of course! You honestly helped me too cause i thought i was so alone in this
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 That’s great! I’m really glad! It’s so much easier knowing that someone else feels the same way and it feels like it weakens the thoughts feelings and urges also
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong 100%!! And someone experiencing the same exact thing shows that it IS ocd and isnt us being in denial
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 Yes exactly! Sorry one more question but when you’re around your partner do you get this weird feeling it’s kind of like anxiety but without the stomach ache? I’m not sure how to explain it
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong When my anxiety is bad i get almost a hollow feeling sometimes, like i feel numb. And when i think of something that makes me feel bad, my stomach drops.
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong And don’t apologize for asking questions! I’m more than happy to answer anything at all!!!
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 Okay thank you!!
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong I’m going to do my first NOCD therapy session today for it. I will let you know how it goes!
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 Okay I do want to here about it
lbarton04lbarton04
- Date posted
- 3y
@Samuel.deJong Do you have Facebook or Instagram? (And are we allowed to exchange social media on here?) lol
Samuel.deJongSamuel.deJong
- Date posted
- 3y
@lbarton04 Yeah I have Instagram but just so you know I’m 17. My Instagram is Samuel.de_jong
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- Date posted
- 24w
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- Date posted
- 19w
ROCD
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Bugsthem
- Date posted
- 18w
ROCD
I just read a post that said “people with ROCD know they love their partners” right when I read it I got this horrible anxiety feeling rush down into my stomach. My partner asked me to be his girlfriend in December and literally since that night It’s like a switch of doubt turned on and I was suffering with consistent doubt about loving my partner, I felt like I didn’t feel anything anymore and I didn’t know what to do and through out the past months it has been an absolute wave of things going on. He is aware of my ocd and in a way I’m glad that this happened because I have had harm ocd for the past 4-5 years and had no idea what it was until 2 months ago when I got an OCD therapist, I just thought I was crazy so I’m happy to know I’m not. Buuuuttt back to the ROCD, my main thoughts and feelings are about not feeling like i love my partner anymore and if we’re compatible, I hyper fixate on the weight he’s gained in the past few months and all the bad food he eats, I think about if our lives even align, we have very different views on some things but are we too different, what if we really don’t know each other at all and we thought we did because we’ve been best friends for 10 years. This is so frustrating because I’ve gotten to the point where my anxiety is barely there, I was have constant outrageous anxiety for 3-4 months and now I’ve gotten to this numb, I literally feel absolutely nothing feeling and it’s not even with just my boyfriend it’s with everything, I just don’t feel happy with anything anymore, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. We got into an argument the other day about how rude I was and I didn’t even feel sad or apologetic when he was talking to me about it, and I couldn’t stop crying, like I just don’t feel anything. I feel like there’s something really wrong with me. All I can describe it as is “blank” does that make sense? I feel like a bad person and I feel like we’re going to break up and I can tell how sad he is. All I do know is that I don’t want to break up. But anytime I think about him or anything along the lines of my ROCD everything like freaks me out. I like scream “NO” and “STOP” in my head all the time. But it’s starting to really feel real. I’m so scared, and now I read that post that said that “people with ROCD know they love their partner” but WHAT IF I DONT KNOW!!! I WANT TO LOVE MY PARTNER. I want to feel the love I had for him before this all started. We were so happy, and we didn’t even get the honey moon phase because my ROCD started right when we made it official. This is seriously so crippling.
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