Does anyone have any advice for someone with contamination OCD that is living with a partner without OCD? (Especially given that that partner intentionally or unintentionally sometimes /often says things that make me feel worse/down). I could really use any advice anyone has right now. Things are starting to feel hopeless and I don’t know whether it makes sense to continue with the relationship or if that’s just a temporary feeling in light of what I’m going through. I just feel so alone and misunderstood.

There will always be “other things going on” in life…so don’t procrastinate! I had the same thoughts. It never feels like a “good time” to address ERP, so start now. My sister has very honest conversations with me. I often feel like people get frustrated and angry with me because I have ocd. She explained that my family members are not mad at me for having ocd, but do get frustrated when I do not use the tools I have learned in therapy to help myself get well. Ocd is a treatable disorder if I put in the work…they get frustrated when I give up on myself. So, no, there has not been too much damage done. But I think his attitude will change when he sees you trying hard to get well. I wish thought this way when I was married.

Your partner should be willing and open to understand what you’re going through. They shouldn’t make you feel bad for things that you do not ask for and that you can’t control. Even though they can’t fix everything for you and resolve things, they shouldn’t make you feel worse.

they worded it perfectly^^^ so sorry your partner doesn’t understand. it’s hard. sending you love

Yes I have contamination ocd and my partner sometimes says things when he is in a bad mood. He says things like get yourself together and your ocd is driving me crazy and more

No no no no no. I’m sorry but you deserve better. He shouldn’t be doing that to you. That is a problem.

Do you have a therapist that understands OCD and specializes in ERP? Have you done anything to help your OCD?

Thank you all so much for your advice, messages, experiences you shared, and nice comments! That means the world to me! I can definitely relate to those experiences shared. My partner in the past once made a comment when he was in a bad mood that I was ruining his life. He later apologized but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I have told him on multiple occasions that using language like saying how “behind we are in things such as chores” makes me feel completely overwhelmed, discouraged, and feeling down, and it makes it even harder to successfully accomplish things, and it would be infinitely better to phrase things in a more specific, bite-size, uplifting, problem -solving/brainstorming kind of way, yet he keeps using the same negative, overwhelming language and just doesn’t seem to care and can act very cold. If this doesn’t improve, it doesn’t seem worth it to continue things, since kindness/compassion/thoughtful and good communication are the number one things I look for in a partner along with the ability to make me feel emotionally safe and loved, and currently all of this is lacking and has been to some extent or another for awhile. I guess the question is— is it possible or realistic for him to change in this way in a sustainable way and has too much damage already been done. I haven’t yet done ERP with a therapist but I definitely want to do that in the future—at a time that feels a little less crazy with other things going on in my life. I can’t thank you enough for all your messages! I’m sending you all love as well!