- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
There will always be “other things going on” in life…so don’t procrastinate! I had the same thoughts. It never feels like a “good time” to address ERP, so start now. My sister has very honest conversations with me. I often feel like people get frustrated and angry with me because I have ocd. She explained that my family members are not mad at me for having ocd, but do get frustrated when I do not use the tools I have learned in therapy to help myself get well. Ocd is a treatable disorder if I put in the work…they get frustrated when I give up on myself. So, no, there has not been too much damage done. But I think his attitude will change when he sees you trying hard to get well. I wish thought this way when I was married.
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes! It not our fault we have OCD. But it IS our responsibility to start treatment and put in the hard work to recover. No one can do that for us and you can't just wish OCD away.
- Date posted
- 3y
Your partner should be willing and open to understand what you’re going through. They shouldn’t make you feel bad for things that you do not ask for and that you can’t control. Even though they can’t fix everything for you and resolve things, they shouldn’t make you feel worse.
- Date posted
- 3y
they worded it perfectly^^^ so sorry your partner doesn’t understand. it’s hard. sending you love
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes I have contamination ocd and my partner sometimes says things when he is in a bad mood. He says things like get yourself together and your ocd is driving me crazy and more
- Date posted
- 3y
Just because he is having a bad day doesn’t allow him to put you down and take his anger out on you. Not acceptable.
- Date posted
- 3y
@🌜🌺✨🛼🛸❗️ Exactly and hes apologized for it but it’s sort of a habit now
- Date posted
- 3y
No no no no no. I’m sorry but you deserve better. He shouldn’t be doing that to you. That is a problem.
- Date posted
- 3y
Do you have a therapist that understands OCD and specializes in ERP? Have you done anything to help your OCD?
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you all so much for your advice, messages, experiences you shared, and nice comments! That means the world to me! I can definitely relate to those experiences shared. My partner in the past once made a comment when he was in a bad mood that I was ruining his life. He later apologized but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I have told him on multiple occasions that using language like saying how “behind we are in things such as chores” makes me feel completely overwhelmed, discouraged, and feeling down, and it makes it even harder to successfully accomplish things, and it would be infinitely better to phrase things in a more specific, bite-size, uplifting, problem -solving/brainstorming kind of way, yet he keeps using the same negative, overwhelming language and just doesn’t seem to care and can act very cold. If this doesn’t improve, it doesn’t seem worth it to continue things, since kindness/compassion/thoughtful and good communication are the number one things I look for in a partner along with the ability to make me feel emotionally safe and loved, and currently all of this is lacking and has been to some extent or another for awhile. I guess the question is— is it possible or realistic for him to change in this way in a sustainable way and has too much damage already been done. I haven’t yet done ERP with a therapist but I definitely want to do that in the future—at a time that feels a little less crazy with other things going on in my life. I can’t thank you enough for all your messages! I’m sending you all love as well!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:
- Date posted
- 24w
back in october i made my first post about my specific type of ocd, how it mixes in with my day to day and how i “deal” with it. i talked about the starting point, how it gradually got worse, and then how it was going just a few months ago. i always think it’s insane how much can change in just the course of a small to a large amount of time. right now, i honestly feel like garbage. to be quite sincere i really want to give up, i’m barely holding on by a thread. and if i cut that thread, i really doubt anyone would care. i’ve never considered myself to be a suicidal person, and i still don’t consider myself that right now. it just gets to a point where it’s just, a lot to deal with. i don’t really enjoy things a lot nowadays. sure i have good days like everyone does, like today, when i was just enjoying my day without worries. but then it all comes crawling back twice as bad the following days. i take online college so i’m usually just stuck at home most of the time. but, when i do decide to actually go out and leave my house, my ocd just explodes because i have this whole routine i need to do or else i feel like i’ll contaminate wherever i end up going. i’m not going to go really deep into my compulsions because it’s hard enough to live with them, much more having to type them all out in detail. but when i go out my compulsions go from wiping down all my stuff i’m going to use after showering, to washing my clothes/cleaning the washer + dryer. i also have separate things (or two of the same thing) i use specifically in my house, and items i use when going out. such as shampoo/body wash, deodorant, lotion, hair curler, etc. as if that’s not draining enough, i also feel the need to fast a couple days prior to any plan i make because i’ve forced myself to believe i need to feel empty in order to be clean. i’m not sure if that’s my past eating disorder talking, or my ocd, but my brain can’t help but think any food in my house is utterly and completely contaminated. i’m so tired of this feeling, feeling like nothing will ever be clean again. feeling like my ocd is trapped in my childhood home. feeling that wave of diseases rushing through my veins the moment i step foot into what’s supposed to be “home”. and i’m so scared of therapy because what if i do get healed, and then everything comes rushing back the second i step into my room. i’m planning on moving somewhere far from my current house in this next coming year, so sometimes i feel like just waiting it out. but it’s insufferable when going to hangout with someone. i miss my friends, my family, and my partner. it’s crazy to me that i’m dealing with all this at the young age of 18 but, i’m sure lots of people have it way worse. i just want to find a way out, any possible way. but i keep pushing myself deeper and deeper that when i finally find a way, it will no longer exist.
- Date posted
- 19w
Im having a OCD specifically contamination OCD flare up all month and I don’t want to feel this way going into March, I’ve thrown out clothes, towels, stayed up for hours doing compulsions, washed my hands till they crack and bleed, I have washing pilling up cause I’m so overwhelmed by all the extra things I’ve added cause I thought it was contaminated. It’s completely draining me to the point where I’ve become sleep deprived and are avoiding part of my home because they are deemed contaminated to me…I only moved in a few months ago, I had a roach problem and using baits and insecticides really messed with my ocd too. anyone have any tips or tricks to make this easier? I wasn’t doing this bad in January :( thankyou in advance :)
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