- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
There will always be “other things going on” in life…so don’t procrastinate! I had the same thoughts. It never feels like a “good time” to address ERP, so start now. My sister has very honest conversations with me. I often feel like people get frustrated and angry with me because I have ocd. She explained that my family members are not mad at me for having ocd, but do get frustrated when I do not use the tools I have learned in therapy to help myself get well. Ocd is a treatable disorder if I put in the work…they get frustrated when I give up on myself. So, no, there has not been too much damage done. But I think his attitude will change when he sees you trying hard to get well. I wish thought this way when I was married.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes! It not our fault we have OCD. But it IS our responsibility to start treatment and put in the hard work to recover. No one can do that for us and you can't just wish OCD away.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Your partner should be willing and open to understand what you’re going through. They shouldn’t make you feel bad for things that you do not ask for and that you can’t control. Even though they can’t fix everything for you and resolve things, they shouldn’t make you feel worse.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
they worded it perfectly^^^ so sorry your partner doesn’t understand. it’s hard. sending you love
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Yes I have contamination ocd and my partner sometimes says things when he is in a bad mood. He says things like get yourself together and your ocd is driving me crazy and more
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Just because he is having a bad day doesn’t allow him to put you down and take his anger out on you. Not acceptable.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@🌜🌺✨🛼🛸❗️ Exactly and hes apologized for it but it’s sort of a habit now
- Date posted
- 3y ago
No no no no no. I’m sorry but you deserve better. He shouldn’t be doing that to you. That is a problem.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Do you have a therapist that understands OCD and specializes in ERP? Have you done anything to help your OCD?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you all so much for your advice, messages, experiences you shared, and nice comments! That means the world to me! I can definitely relate to those experiences shared. My partner in the past once made a comment when he was in a bad mood that I was ruining his life. He later apologized but that’s just the tip of the iceberg. I have told him on multiple occasions that using language like saying how “behind we are in things such as chores” makes me feel completely overwhelmed, discouraged, and feeling down, and it makes it even harder to successfully accomplish things, and it would be infinitely better to phrase things in a more specific, bite-size, uplifting, problem -solving/brainstorming kind of way, yet he keeps using the same negative, overwhelming language and just doesn’t seem to care and can act very cold. If this doesn’t improve, it doesn’t seem worth it to continue things, since kindness/compassion/thoughtful and good communication are the number one things I look for in a partner along with the ability to make me feel emotionally safe and loved, and currently all of this is lacking and has been to some extent or another for awhile. I guess the question is— is it possible or realistic for him to change in this way in a sustainable way and has too much damage already been done. I haven’t yet done ERP with a therapist but I definitely want to do that in the future—at a time that feels a little less crazy with other things going on in my life. I can’t thank you enough for all your messages! I’m sending you all love as well!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 21w ago
Having a really bad day with my ocd. Just had a massive meltdown. I’ve had 3 sessions with an ocd therapist and I feel worse. This is very confusing to me. I’ve read online that it’s normal to feel worse at the start of therapy, but i don’t know. I’m asking for a lot of reassurance from people, way more than I have ever done. My doubts and thoughts seem to be getting worse. My mum said if the relationship is making you so unhappy why are you doing it? This was sooo triggering for me but maybe she’s right? She said if I didn’t have the relationship in my life, I wouldn’t be having meltdowns or have an ocd spike, so she thinks I should consider whether to be in the relationship or not! Omg it’s so awful to hear those words. But maybe she is kind of right? If somethings making you anxious or unhappy, you stop don’t you? So why haven’t I broken up with him? That would be the logical step. Im so worried to make myself even more ill so im very scared to carry on with the relationship, because right now, my mind is telling me its the cause of my unhappiness and i would be better without it. But is that my ocd speaking? How do I know?! My life without him would be so bleak, or is it my life without the idea of someone in it? I have so many questions, it’s overwhelming. What if I’m not listening to my gut? Maybe I’m not. That makes me feel sick if I’m ignoring myself again. This is torture. What can I do to stop all these doubts and feel better about things!!! I would love some advice 🙏🏻🙏🏻 (this is my ocd talking, but comments that agree with my ocd are very triggering like ‘yes if you feel like that that is a major red flag’. Just comments that maybe give some hope, thank you 🙏🏻)
- Date posted
- 13w ago
hi. so one big factor of my OCD is rumination. i met a guy who i have a crush on the idea of (idea bc there are red flags). my biggest fear is not finding true love, my ex told me no one else would deal with what i have (my ocd, specifically reassurance seeking and getting overstimulated after intimacy). a few weeks ago, my friends and family all gathered and tried to give me advice that sounded like “you’re shy and you’ll never find someone.” after that, i’ve felt off. i’ve been using an unhealthy coping skill, daydreaming, and i’ve just felt unbalanced. my ocd makes everything feel different sometimes, i can’t explain it. life, myself, almost like being in a dissociated state. has anyone else experienced that? i don’t know how to remain balanced during my off times and i know pms exasperates it all. i take ashwaghanda and omega 3s in a multi vitamin daily. i take them all together in the evening but i’ve missed three days recently and also messed with my rocky sleep schedule because of fun times with friends. i hope these supplements work, because i don’t know if i’d be brave enough for medication. i had a bad reaction on prozac and often am forgetful. i just have been battling my OCD consciously for almost ten years now and unconsciously for longer. i am so tired, as my mental health extends beyond my OCD. i’m in talk therapy with some cbt aspects but i only see her twice a month. i’ve broken down so many times and promised myself id get on track or that certain things would work, but it’s like i am stuck in a circle that gets smaller when i’m able to help myself. i just want to be normal. i want to be able to mess up my sleep schedule to enjoy good times and not suffer horrible consequences or fear that i will be entirely thrown off balance. i don’t want to worry or doubt or feel so dissociative that i squint my eyes for a moment and wonder why i feel so unreal. i will never understand why god has allowed me to go through this. i cannot let it be for nothing but i don’t know how much more to bend and contort my body and brain to get somewhere stable but how lovely it would be if i could. i don’t have much of a schedule right now, i get apathetic and give in with things from time to time. one thing can trigger me and i am back to square one wether in a week or month. any advice, any and all is so helpful. your stories, your thoughts. maybe feeling less alone and knowing what has helped you is exactly what i need right now. thank you 💗
- Date posted
- 8w ago
Last night I was staying at my boyfriend’s house and couldn’t sleep. I felt like i desperately needed to go back to my parents and clean and organize my room. This has happened a few times before when I was staying at his place. Since then he’s been very upset with me. Does anyone else’s partner do this? Any advice? It’s been hard. He’s made me feel so shameful for having OCD. As if it’s not tough enough /:
Be a part of the largest OCD Community
Share your thoughts so the Community can respond