- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Thank you for this. How did you fix it? đ„ș
- Date posted
- 3y ago
A lot of therapy (ERP) and my medication (Zoloft) helped with the intensity of those intrusive thoughts. In my opinion, the thoughts are more manageable and Iâm able to push them away. This goes to say it hasnât gone away completely but I can live a life thatâs not debilitating.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@Mindful11 Also if anyone just needs someone to talk to Iâm here!
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w ago
I just ended my 2 year relationship with an amazing guy because my intrusive thoughts wouldnât stop. I started Prozac 9 days ago and the first few days, I felt great and all the original love I had for my partner came flushing back. The next few days I started becoming anxious and today I had to leave work because I could not stop ruminating. When I initially broke up with him I felt a split second of relief, but now I am having the same feelings that I was having before and I donât know what to do.
- User type
- Therapist
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Valentineâs Day is a day to celebrate love, however if you are living with Relationship OCD (ROCD) this can be a very triggering day. Relationship OCD is essentially, the fear of being in the wrong relationship, not truly loving your partner, or not being loved by your partner. This makes you doubt the true nature of your relationship and makes you believe that your entire relationship is based on lies. It can make you feel like a bad person and not worthy of love. ROCD will make you believe that you need to leave the relationship just to find some peace. When we think about ROCD we often think that this only applies to romantic relationships, however ROCD can impact friendships and family relationships as well. ROCD will attack whatever relationship is most important to you. As an ERP therapist some of the most common obsessions that I have seen include âIs my partner âThe Oneââ? âMaybe I am meant to be with someone elseâ. âWhat if my partner cheats on me or worse I cheat on him/herâ? âI find X attractive. Should I break up with my partner and be with Xâ? âDo I even love my partner? What if they donât love me?â This list could go on and on. The basis of all of these intrusive thoughts is fear and doubt. The compulsions associated with ROCD are vast. The most common include checking feelings to make sure you really love your partner, avoidance behaviors, reassurance seeking behaviors both from your partner and from others and ruminating on the relationship in the hopes of figuring out if this is the ârightâ relationship for you. ROCD, as in most theses in OCD, wants 100% uncertainty that this relationship will work out with no conflict or compromise. The problem is this is unrealistic. All relationships will have some level of conflict and compromise in them. There is no âperfect relationshipâ. Most of us have grown up with fairy tales where one true love will come and sweep up off our feet. Life and relationships can be messy and complicated, but they are worth it and are a key aspect of what makes us human. The fact is ROCD makes you doubt everything and will take the joy, excitement and contentment out of the relationship. The good news is that treatment is available, and it is possible to have a long, happy, fulfilling relationship despite ROCD fears. It does take time, perseverance and patience. Treatment using Exposure Response Prevention has been proven to lessen intrusive thoughts. You will learn to manage your expectations of the relationships while leaning into your fears and learning to accept the uncomfortable feelings. By doing this, you can bring joy and contentment back into you life and your relationships. I'd love to hear about how ROCD is showing up for you. Share your experiences in the comments below or ask your questions about ROCD and I will respond to them.
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 12w ago
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasnât a major factor then. It wasnât until my longest relationshipâsix years from age 18 to 24âthat OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasnât the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldnât let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if Iâm with the wrong person? Iâd break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then Iâd question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could âwithstand it this time,â only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadnât built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed upâquestioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I havenât yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know thatâs my next step. Just like Iâve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control meâto learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to âfigure it out.â I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know Iâm not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. Iâm hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I donât expect to eliminate doubt entirelyâafter all, doubt is a part of every relationshipâbut I want to reach a place where it doesnât paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. Iâd love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
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