One thing I've been reflecting on is that obsessive thinking is probably a really normal way of thinking about things. So much great art and music has been written by people who were obsessive. A lot of beauty is there. I have the same feeling about my own thoughts lately. What's me and what's ocd but I've come to realize that I'm a pretty ok human, people like me, and I'm going to try not to obsess too much about what parts of me are the OCD and what is the "real me". I want to understand the way in which the OCD is screwing things up for me but I'm sure that it's affected me in positive ways too and plus, it's here to stay.
Yeah but surely thinking about the same thing that just makes you anxious and depressed every second of every day isn’t normal?
I was mostly just reflecting on your last sentence. It's something I've been thinking about for a while. I have some other forms of ocd but I think I have some Rocd too. But I'm older now and dating someone who is just lovely and also knows about my ocd. She told me she liked me when we met because I was anxious and funny which was pretty funny because I am anxious and funny. Anyway I've been reflecting that some Rocd has probably hindered relationships in the past and I'm not saying you shouldn't seek treatment and try to relieve yourself of it. I'm just saying I'm accepting my brain for the brain I have. It has good and bad parts. But plenty of people without ocd have all sorts of relationship problems and you absolutely don't know what's going to happen in the future. You may find that having lived with ocd will have made you a kinder person and in this or another relationship your understanding of yourself through OCD becomes the thing that actually helps you have a loving relationship. I was not expecting love in my life in this way.
Great perspective here Sully. I am an old guy too and I have found that your perspective is one of the keys to recovery: accepting my brain, knowing OCD can be a blessing (in some ways), and simply letting things be as they are. Maybe it’s like Anthony De Mello’s concept of awareness and acceptance. Happy thanksgiving to all.
That last sentence is standing out to me too. My main theme is ROCD. And I had the worst episode Monday night and I literally said to my bf I don’t know what’s real. Recently my therapist helped me put together a fear script that I listen on repeat daily 30 min to hour. It made me want to vomit for the first three days but it’s the only thing that calms me and helps me accept the possibility where I feel grounded enough to feel what’s real. Actually I still get very anxious and sick feeling when I begin to listen but by 30 minutes or so I’m better. I’m sure if it’s something that works for everyone but it’s really been helpful to me
*im not sure*
Hi there, BradOCD! Thank you so much for reaching out on here. I’ve been exactly where you are, and it sucks. One of my favorite things my therapist ever told me is that OCD attacks the things you care most about in the world. Your obsessions mean that you care for your girlfriend so deeply (as ironic as that is). Have you brought this up with your therapist? Working on ERP exposures around this will really start decreasing your distress in the long run. You’re doing an incredible job. You’re stronger than you know. Keep it up.