So I just left my therapists office and she said you could indeed be gay and still have HOCD! I’m very confused and upset. Anyone have insight?

That doesn’t really sound right it could just be her trying to leave you with uncertainty

I have HOCD and the LGBTQ community doesn’t go against my values I don’t have any problems with people being lesbians. The reason I have HOCD is because the thought of living out a homosexual lifestyle makes me feel uncomfortable and feels unnatural to me

@ta but then it sucks because then you start to think after a while “what if internally I want to be with a women but I just don’t realize it yet” and you freak out you can’t win haha

I'm bi and have HOCD so she's not entirely wrong in that they can overlap - but you have to try and see your orientation and your intrusives as what they are - completely separate things. All HOCD means is that, for whatever reason, the thought of not being straight is distressing to you. That can be the case whether you're straight or not. If the reason it distresses you is that it feels "not you" though, or you feel you know who you're attracted to and these intrusives are going against that/against your sense of identity, then I'd say it's a fair bet you're straight - but I can't tell. Deep down, you know who you are - don't let your fears try to tell you you're someone you're not.

@gonzalmac In the end it comes down to any kind of attraction feeling intensely "wrong"/listing potential consequences, because everything feels overwhelming and uncertain. I've spent too long doubting to dislodge it now.

Maybe she just wanted you to accept the uncertainty because you never know for sure anything in this life?

Meaning fear of being gay and actually be gay. The fear would have to deal with coming out or it goes against your values or anything else.

I don’t know :( Thank you girls so much for responding?? I’m so upset right now and left her office crying. That is not something I was aware of either but she has me so confused I just hope she is wrong.

That sounds like trying to avoid giving reassurance. Is your therapist an OCD specialist?

Is she an OCD specialist?

Tolly537- she legit said it’s possible and even gave me examples of how. Like it goes against your values and such.

Because one time I asked the same thing (can an ocd topic end up being true regarding HOCD) and she just said “I don’t know maybe” and it was definitely her trying to avoid giving me reassurance

Yes she is :(

I would say next time you talk with her explain how much anxiety it gave you and tell her WHY you don’t want those things to be true you don’t want her to think it is because of family values or anything

She knows how much anxiety it gave me ( I would think) I began to cry and have a mini panic attack. And stayed in her office for another 15 min...

What did she say after that happened?

Well I asked again if I could in fact be gay and have HOCD and she said yes. I told her I felt like i was back at square one... and I left.

Now I’m wondering if the reason I don’t want to be gay are deeper more rooted issues... like values. Truth is I already told my family I thought I was gay because I thought that is what I needed to get off my chest to feel better and close friends but now I don’t know.

No, not I

Was asking the person who posted the thread.

@ double check- would you be willing to share what your intrusive thoughts are? Like is it afraid of only being straight? Or only being gay?

These are diffefent things. The lgbt community even if they have doubts sometimes, they know how they feel and who they want to be. Their sexuality, and their identity make them happy and finally complete. They are afraid of not being understandood or listened or even hurt from other people, people who love them too, if they come out as who they really feel, as who they want to be. HOCD makes you feel angsty about everything sexual, romantic or whatever happens in your life. HOCD doesnt let you live the present, it makes you sick and desperate and out of yourself. First, fight the intrusive thoughts. Your obssesive condition about every doubt. And then, when you feel stronger. You'll know what do you want to do. Because whatever you choose, the way you are living now is just a nightmare.

I don’t really think she is right. Literally everyone else says it’s not possible because it literally defies the meaning of HOCD. You can be bi and have HOCD, but you realize you are bi before it happens.

I mean they know they are bi, they know they have had crushes on girls, actual being intimate with girls doesn’t sound as disgusting you know before the obsessive thoughts come. Like how a gay person can have HOCD, but instead of fearing that they are gay it’s fearing that they are turning straight. It’s kind of like that but it’s the desire changing, that they aren’t attracted to both genders, that they are only attracted to obe