- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
That doesn’t really sound right it could just be her trying to leave you with uncertainty
- Date posted
- 6y
I have HOCD and the LGBTQ community doesn’t go against my values I don’t have any problems with people being lesbians. The reason I have HOCD is because the thought of living out a homosexual lifestyle makes me feel uncomfortable and feels unnatural to me
- Date posted
- 6y
@ta but then it sucks because then you start to think after a while “what if internally I want to be with a women but I just don’t realize it yet” and you freak out you can’t win haha
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm bi and have HOCD so she's not entirely wrong in that they can overlap - but you have to try and see your orientation and your intrusives as what they are - completely separate things. All HOCD means is that, for whatever reason, the thought of not being straight is distressing to you. That can be the case whether you're straight or not. If the reason it distresses you is that it feels "not you" though, or you feel you know who you're attracted to and these intrusives are going against that/against your sense of identity, then I'd say it's a fair bet you're straight - but I can't tell. Deep down, you know who you are - don't let your fears try to tell you you're someone you're not.
- Date posted
- 6y
@gonzalmac In the end it comes down to any kind of attraction feeling intensely "wrong"/listing potential consequences, because everything feels overwhelming and uncertain. I've spent too long doubting to dislodge it now.
- Date posted
- 6y
Maybe she just wanted you to accept the uncertainty because you never know for sure anything in this life?
- Date posted
- 6y
Meaning fear of being gay and actually be gay. The fear would have to deal with coming out or it goes against your values or anything else.
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t know :( Thank you girls so much for responding?? I’m so upset right now and left her office crying. That is not something I was aware of either but she has me so confused I just hope she is wrong.
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 6y
That sounds like trying to avoid giving reassurance. Is your therapist an OCD specialist?
- Date posted
- 6y
Is she an OCD specialist?
- Date posted
- 6y
Tolly537- she legit said it’s possible and even gave me examples of how. Like it goes against your values and such.
- Date posted
- 6y
Because one time I asked the same thing (can an ocd topic end up being true regarding HOCD) and she just said “I don’t know maybe” and it was definitely her trying to avoid giving me reassurance
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes she is :(
- Date posted
- 6y
I would say next time you talk with her explain how much anxiety it gave you and tell her WHY you don’t want those things to be true you don’t want her to think it is because of family values or anything
- Date posted
- 6y
She knows how much anxiety it gave me ( I would think) I began to cry and have a mini panic attack. And stayed in her office for another 15 min...
- Date posted
- 6y
What did she say after that happened?
- Date posted
- 6y
Well I asked again if I could in fact be gay and have HOCD and she said yes. I told her I felt like i was back at square one... and I left.
- Date posted
- 6y
Now I’m wondering if the reason I don’t want to be gay are deeper more rooted issues... like values. Truth is I already told my family I thought I was gay because I thought that is what I needed to get off my chest to feel better and close friends but now I don’t know.
- Date posted
- 6y
No, not I
- Date posted
- 6y
Was asking the person who posted the thread.
- Date posted
- 6y
@ double check- would you be willing to share what your intrusive thoughts are? Like is it afraid of only being straight? Or only being gay?
- Date posted
- 6y
These are diffefent things. The lgbt community even if they have doubts sometimes, they know how they feel and who they want to be. Their sexuality, and their identity make them happy and finally complete. They are afraid of not being understandood or listened or even hurt from other people, people who love them too, if they come out as who they really feel, as who they want to be. HOCD makes you feel angsty about everything sexual, romantic or whatever happens in your life. HOCD doesnt let you live the present, it makes you sick and desperate and out of yourself. First, fight the intrusive thoughts. Your obssesive condition about every doubt. And then, when you feel stronger. You'll know what do you want to do. Because whatever you choose, the way you are living now is just a nightmare.
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 16w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 13w
Today I had my first appointment with my new therapist in a clinic and she told me that my thoughts could be because of my past trauma and that it’s what makes most people pedos. I’m so in distress right now, I don’t want to hurt people but she made me feel like I’m disgusting
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