- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
That doesn’t really sound right it could just be her trying to leave you with uncertainty
- Date posted
- 6y
I have HOCD and the LGBTQ community doesn’t go against my values I don’t have any problems with people being lesbians. The reason I have HOCD is because the thought of living out a homosexual lifestyle makes me feel uncomfortable and feels unnatural to me
- Date posted
- 6y
@ta but then it sucks because then you start to think after a while “what if internally I want to be with a women but I just don’t realize it yet” and you freak out you can’t win haha
- Date posted
- 6y
I'm bi and have HOCD so she's not entirely wrong in that they can overlap - but you have to try and see your orientation and your intrusives as what they are - completely separate things. All HOCD means is that, for whatever reason, the thought of not being straight is distressing to you. That can be the case whether you're straight or not. If the reason it distresses you is that it feels "not you" though, or you feel you know who you're attracted to and these intrusives are going against that/against your sense of identity, then I'd say it's a fair bet you're straight - but I can't tell. Deep down, you know who you are - don't let your fears try to tell you you're someone you're not.
- Date posted
- 6y
@gonzalmac In the end it comes down to any kind of attraction feeling intensely "wrong"/listing potential consequences, because everything feels overwhelming and uncertain. I've spent too long doubting to dislodge it now.
- Date posted
- 6y
Maybe she just wanted you to accept the uncertainty because you never know for sure anything in this life?
- Date posted
- 6y
Meaning fear of being gay and actually be gay. The fear would have to deal with coming out or it goes against your values or anything else.
- Date posted
- 6y
I don’t know :( Thank you girls so much for responding?? I’m so upset right now and left her office crying. That is not something I was aware of either but she has me so confused I just hope she is wrong.
- User type
- Staff
- Date posted
- 6y
That sounds like trying to avoid giving reassurance. Is your therapist an OCD specialist?
- Date posted
- 6y
Is she an OCD specialist?
- Date posted
- 6y
Tolly537- she legit said it’s possible and even gave me examples of how. Like it goes against your values and such.
- Date posted
- 6y
Because one time I asked the same thing (can an ocd topic end up being true regarding HOCD) and she just said “I don’t know maybe” and it was definitely her trying to avoid giving me reassurance
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes she is :(
- Date posted
- 6y
I would say next time you talk with her explain how much anxiety it gave you and tell her WHY you don’t want those things to be true you don’t want her to think it is because of family values or anything
- Date posted
- 6y
She knows how much anxiety it gave me ( I would think) I began to cry and have a mini panic attack. And stayed in her office for another 15 min...
- Date posted
- 6y
What did she say after that happened?
- Date posted
- 6y
Well I asked again if I could in fact be gay and have HOCD and she said yes. I told her I felt like i was back at square one... and I left.
- Date posted
- 6y
Now I’m wondering if the reason I don’t want to be gay are deeper more rooted issues... like values. Truth is I already told my family I thought I was gay because I thought that is what I needed to get off my chest to feel better and close friends but now I don’t know.
- Date posted
- 6y
No, not I
- Date posted
- 6y
Was asking the person who posted the thread.
- Date posted
- 6y
@ double check- would you be willing to share what your intrusive thoughts are? Like is it afraid of only being straight? Or only being gay?
- Date posted
- 6y
These are diffefent things. The lgbt community even if they have doubts sometimes, they know how they feel and who they want to be. Their sexuality, and their identity make them happy and finally complete. They are afraid of not being understandood or listened or even hurt from other people, people who love them too, if they come out as who they really feel, as who they want to be. HOCD makes you feel angsty about everything sexual, romantic or whatever happens in your life. HOCD doesnt let you live the present, it makes you sick and desperate and out of yourself. First, fight the intrusive thoughts. Your obssesive condition about every doubt. And then, when you feel stronger. You'll know what do you want to do. Because whatever you choose, the way you are living now is just a nightmare.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I feel awful that I keep coming on here whenever I’m down bad but oh my gosh OCD is the most painful shit that I have EVER experienced in my life and I have a physical chronic illness…. I hate to say it but I hate living right now it’s too painful… im crying as I type to the point where my stomach is hurting, I have pretty severe ocd I do have generalized anxiety and idk if that is connected with ocd but because of that I have most of the subtypes REAL EVENT OCD,POCD,ZOCD,ROCD,SOCD HARM OCD, you name it and I got it!!! a lot of also why I have have those theme is trauma growing up and involving those things^ as of right now i’m 25 and a women with the most loving boyfriend in the entire world before my ocd hit me I NEVER questioned my love and care and attraction with the love of my life I always knew I was going to marry and be with this person the rest of my life! Now with ocd it confuses me soooo much and now I think I’m gay and didn’t realize or indenial and listen I get it “don’t look for reassurance!” “It’s not the thing ocd is attacking that is the problem ocd is the actual problem!” Here’s the thing with that if I’m in a relationship and I’m gay that would mean I would have to leave that said relationship and to say that “oh yeah that stuff happens and you’ll move on” is absolutely devastating to me this is THE LOVE OF MY LIFE and your telling me that iv been lying to myself this whole time or that I didn’t realize?!?!? And that sexuality can change (even though some say it can’t google says otherwise and some people have said it can’t idek anymore) and all this other BULLSHIT I can’t take it WHY?!?! why does this have to happen why can’t I just be with my love the rest of my life?!? and yes before anyone says anything I have been attracted to girls more so when I was younger watching lesbian porn liking the body’s and fantazing them sexually it stopped when I got older but I still don’t get disgusted with women who are pretty it just makes me uncomfortable because I’m with the love of my life and before I remember talking to my partner and discussing certain childhood things I experienced and we discussed that we both could be a little bi and for certain I’m (demi sexual so I don’t even really care about looks) and I truly didn’t care!! NOW I do care even with being bi because again I don’t like thinking about anyone else but my partner but I do also know my parents are homophobic and I do think about if I am gay they wouldn’t be okay with that and I also dont want to deal with that so now I sound like in indenial right?!???? I didn’t even care about labels before my ocd it just didn’t matter but now it’s effected my sex life and it’s hard for me to enjoy sex with being so confused I’m so confused I googled everything can you still have sexual fantasies with same gender but still be straight? Can you fantasize about same gender or imagine marrying them all of it !!! And non of that disgusts me it just makes me uncomfortable AGIAN only bc I just love the partner I’m with right now!!! I’m so fucking confused do I have to leave my partner and accept that I’m gay is that going to happen in the future if I get better with ocd and find out it’s been true all along?!???
- Date posted
- 19w
Sorry long post. Anyone feel like now they’re just in extreme denial. Like when I was little I noticed guys more than girls in movies and was more drawn to them. I remember changing my mindset to switch that. 98%of my life has been straight until recently. I felt drawn to some guys but never thought of it sexually. Always had girl crushes dreams and porn. Now I watch porn and I feel like straight takes longer and then I go and watch gay porn and feel nothing until I tell myself it’s two attractive dudes and love is love and imagine physical sensations and then it hits like suddenly. Like I have to convince myself it’s alright. Then when I try again I can do all that but feel nothing and then straight porn works. Idk if it’s just getting a fix or the first time works with anything or what but it’s confusing. On top of that I’ve felt girl relationships including my wife maybe miss something and a guy maybe matches that feeling that but then I feel like I’d be missing something without a girl or my wife. Idk I’ve had some rough times in life with male figures in my life but idk. I feel like I have to convince myself more and more that I’m straight even more than the first time I dealt with this. Can someone relate? Please
- Date posted
- 13w
I need too know that I'm not insane, really. I am 16 and for the past two weeks, this has been completely ruining my health and happiness. I only recently came out as a lesbian like 3 months ago after a lot of confusion about my attraction since I used to think I liked men. At first, I felt so sure that I liked women, but lately, I've been having these unwanted thoughts about the possibility of liking men. I never used to feel this way, but now, every time I look at a man, my brain obsessively fixates on it. It forces me to imagine kissing him, loving him, things I don’t want, and then tries to convince me that I do. It’s painful. The thought of this fills me with fear and anxiety, leading to panic attacks and breakdowns. I don’t want these thoughts. I hate them with every fiber of my being, but I’m terrified that one day I’ll act on them and somehow like it. I used to think I liked men, but back then, I was in a very unhealthy space in a time of escapism and something deeply parasocial. I’ve only ever liked the attention and validation a man could give me, but these experiences are somehow treated as further proof that I’m "bisexual." I’ve never been in a real relationship with anyone, which makes my brain constantly challenge me—telling me, “You don’t even know what love feels like.” It won’t shut up. It keeps obsessively trying to make me prove that I’m a lesbian, testing my reactions and questioning my certainty. Is this normal?
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