- Username
- oliviak2305
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Hey! I have been here. I don't want to give you an answer that will give you reassurance, but even in healthy relationships - it is normal to have doubts. When you start to have these thoughts and get anxious, just take time to sit with the thoughts. They don't need answers. ROCD will make you feel like you need to avoid your relationship and confess that you have these feelings. It makes you feel like you're a bad partner, but don't let it trick you! Give acceptance that you won't like your partner every day. Our brains are funny with chemicals and sometimes we just don't feel as drawn to them as we do other days. Accept that this will happen, accept that you will have days where it will feel as if it won't work, but that doesn't mean you have to find a compulsion to get out of the relationship. Soon enough, you'll look back and think about how silly it was that you got so anxious over these thoughts. You got this!
Hi. I'm on this app for a while and you wrote exactly my same story. Distressing if you love him enough, If you're connected enough, keep questioning about your feelings, asking for reassurance... I don't have a diagnosis made by a professionist; but that sounds exactly rocd!!
Remember that thoughts can't make you a bad person! They aren't nothing if you don't act on them! Also, if you keep searching for an answer, you will never find one! Because once you had find it; you will have to prove it to yourself! =more doubts! (So try to don't answer!!!) Most important, the more you want to feel something, the less you will be able to feel. If you keep thinking "what do I feel now, do I feel enough, let's see if I feel enough attracted, enough in love etc" that will "kill" your real feelings and bring only anxiety/ apathy!
I saw this post and legit thought I was reading my own post for a second... At the time I thought maybe it was rocd but then it I thought it was relationship anxiety but recently I went to a psychiatrist and now I know I have OCD so that answers that question
Sorry I forgot to answer your question, it sounds so much like my experience that it definitely sounds like relationship ocd!
Oh man, I'm going through almost the exact same. Having a mind like that is quite unfair /: I don't know if it's OCD but it could be (I am u diagnosed too). This might as well be relationship anxiety as those two are almost identical. Try to stop asking people for reassurance, love is a choice. If u decide to be with him then stay, even if Ur head makes it feel like u don't want that to be your choice ( I suffer from this, but I know better than my feelings and emotions when I make this decision).
I want to share my experience! I have like you, doubts on mine feelings about the rightness of the relationship etc. But I really wanted to be with this guy. I was in conflict with myself, I felt so guilty, and I was thrown in a spiral of doubt -> anxiety & guilt & sadness -> can't feel positive feelings -> more doubts! I started to be really depressed, because I thought exactly like you that if I have these doubts that already means that they are true. (Spoiler! They are not!) I kept proving myself, like "oh he is Hugging me, what do I feel? Do I feel enough?" And "if I think to him, I don't feel very much! So I probably don't love him enough, we should broke up"... I kept searching for answers; but that only worsened things! I came to the conclusion, that decisions in love, like in everything else, should be something that we do spontaneously, and most important don't cause anxiety and bad feelings! I used to think "if someone asks me if I want a glass of water, the answer is a yes o no, without even thinking about it! Every decision should be like that!!" So i started to searching for help me, and for me the game changer whas therapy + this app, when I finally understand everything! Now I'm still struggling sometimes, but I'm mostly happy, and i can enjoy back again my relationship.
I’ve had doubts my whole relationship with my boyfriend. Things like “you don’t find him attractive. You don’t think he’s funny. You’re lesbian because you don’t love him. You don’t love him at all. You think he’s annoying. You think his face looks weird. You want to be with other guys. He doesn’t make you happy.” But I always cry and get upset at the thought of losing him. Is that ocd, or something wrong with the relationship. It’s so hard to tell if this is Rocd or if this is one of those, “you never loved nor were interested in him in the first place.” Type things. I want to be interested and in love with him so bad, but I feel like all these thoughts get in the way. :( I don’t get that crazy “you love him so much,” feeing everyone talks about. Like yeah I know I feel for him and love him for who he is, but I don’t feel crazy deep in love :(
I’ve been with my boyfriend for 3 years and he is an absolute angel. All throughout the relationship I would have nightmares and intrusive thoughts “what if he leaves/cheats”. And he would reassure me and treat me like the world revolves around me. Lately I’m realizing this was actually ocd and not anxiety as I had previously thought. I would get paranoid if he didn’t check his messages for a couple hours, I’d get anxious if I saw an ambulance heading toward his street while I was driving, I would ask for reassurance that he loved me constantly. Bear in mind, I have no reason to have these fears. My boyfriend is my best friend and has supported me through thick and thin and he’s amazing. One time a couple months ago I was being a bit snappy with him one night and I had the thought “only people who don’t like their partners are snappy with them” and it just stuck. Now I struggle with intrusive thoughts about my own feelings, do I love him, do I miss him enough, is my relationship going to end because this couple on social media broke up. I could deal with the thoughts about his feelings because he is so so good about making me feel loved but now I’m stuck in this constant guilt loop where I question my relationship for no reason then get anxious and feel guilty for even thinking that way because I think I’m manifesting it. Was wondering if anybody else in a healthy long term relationship has had this happen to them and how you talk yourself down :(
I had an argument with my boyfriend 3 months ago, I posted a picture and people were commenting on it and one of the comments was a guy that flirted with me that I completely forgot about. I felt guilty for so long, my inner mind was calling me a cheater and that I’m not worth it. It progressed onto me thinking “do I love him?” And “should I break up with him?”, I cried over the fact that I started to lose myself and being so scared to lose him over my thoughts. I seek for reasurance from online sources (like Reddit), my friends and my mother because I want to believe that it’s just my head that is telling me things and not my actual feelings. My mind keeps on telling me things that I don’t want to hear, I lost feelings that I didn’t want to lose, I lost happiness and comfort and love that I didn’t want to lose but it’s all in my head? I do love him but I don’t feel anything anymore? It’s all confusing. I miss missing him, it makes me feel so bad that I don’t feel the way that I used to anymore. bearing in mind that this is my first healthiest relationship I’ve been in. He’s treated me better than my exes that treated me so poorly. Could this be Depression and anxiety / ROCD? If so does it get better?
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