oliviak2305
- Date posted
- 3y
Jesse MillerJesse Miller
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Hey! I have been here. I don't want to give you an answer that will give you reassurance, but even in healthy relationships - it is normal to have doubts. When you start to have these thoughts and get anxious, just take time to sit with the thoughts. They don't need answers. ROCD will make you feel like you need to avoid your relationship and confess that you have these feelings. It makes you feel like you're a bad partner, but don't let it trick you! Give acceptance that you won't like your partner every day. Our brains are funny with chemicals and sometimes we just don't feel as drawn to them as we do other days. Accept that this will happen, accept that you will have days where it will feel as if it won't work, but that doesn't mean you have to find a compulsion to get out of the relationship. Soon enough, you'll look back and think about how silly it was that you got so anxious over these thoughts. You got this!
eoideoid
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi. I'm on this app for a while and you wrote exactly my same story. Distressing if you love him enough, If you're connected enough, keep questioning about your feelings, asking for reassurance... I don't have a diagnosis made by a professionist; but that sounds exactly rocd!!
eoideoid
- Date posted
- 3y
Remember that thoughts can't make you a bad person! They aren't nothing if you don't act on them! Also, if you keep searching for an answer, you will never find one! Because once you had find it; you will have to prove it to yourself! =more doubts! (So try to don't answer!!!) Most important, the more you want to feel something, the less you will be able to feel. If you keep thinking "what do I feel now, do I feel enough, let's see if I feel enough attracted, enough in love etc" that will "kill" your real feelings and bring only anxiety/ apathy!
Antarctic FoxAntarctic Fox
- Date posted
- 3y
I saw this post and legit thought I was reading my own post for a second... At the time I thought maybe it was rocd but then it I thought it was relationship anxiety but recently I went to a psychiatrist and now I know I have OCD so that answers that question
Antarctic FoxAntarctic Fox
- Date posted
- 3y
Sorry I forgot to answer your question, it sounds so much like my experience that it definitely sounds like relationship ocd!
ExseiiExseii
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh man, I'm going through almost the exact same. Having a mind like that is quite unfair /: I don't know if it's OCD but it could be (I am u diagnosed too). This might as well be relationship anxiety as those two are almost identical. Try to stop asking people for reassurance, love is a choice. If u decide to be with him then stay, even if Ur head makes it feel like u don't want that to be your choice ( I suffer from this, but I know better than my feelings and emotions when I make this decision).
eoideoid
- Date posted
- 3y
I want to share my experience! I have like you, doubts on mine feelings about the rightness of the relationship etc. But I really wanted to be with this guy. I was in conflict with myself, I felt so guilty, and I was thrown in a spiral of doubt -> anxiety & guilt & sadness -> can't feel positive feelings -> more doubts! I started to be really depressed, because I thought exactly like you that if I have these doubts that already means that they are true. (Spoiler! They are not!) I kept proving myself, like "oh he is Hugging me, what do I feel? Do I feel enough?" And "if I think to him, I don't feel very much! So I probably don't love him enough, we should broke up"... I kept searching for answers; but that only worsened things! I came to the conclusion, that decisions in love, like in everything else, should be something that we do spontaneously, and most important don't cause anxiety and bad feelings! I used to think "if someone asks me if I want a glass of water, the answer is a yes o no, without even thinking about it! Every decision should be like that!!" So i started to searching for help me, and for me the game changer whas therapy + this app, when I finally understand everything! Now I'm still struggling sometimes, but I'm mostly happy, and i can enjoy back again my relationship.
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WhatAGuy05
- Date posted
- 24w
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- Date posted
- 20w
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shopgirl
- Date posted
- 10w
New relationship and OCD spike
I’ve been really struggling the last week and I need some help. I’ve been seeing a guy for about 2 months who checks a lot of my relationship boxes. He’s so kind and we have a lot of fun together. The first few weeks I was totally smitten but had moments of fear about being committed. We talked about it and decided to take things slowly, and then I would have days of feeling like every thing was perfect with some fearful feelings in between. Two weeks ago now my SO-OCD and ROCD started to come back a little as well as my more anxious-avoidant behaviors. I started to get more scared of the future and it was more intense. At the end of last week, he asked me to be his girlfriend and I said yes. He is exactly the type of person I see myself marrying and has great values and is so secure about me. Until last week, he generally made me feel so safe and secure. Ever since saying yes, I feel so scared and anxious and my SO-OCD and ROCD is on max. I also find myself getting more annoyed and irritated about things that were minor annoyances or non-issues before. I’m having intense physical responses to both OCD themes, and the nagging thought and feeling that I need to end things with him because we aren’t right for each other. It makes me feel so sad and guilty. Sex is becoming harder because of the thoughts too, whereas at first it was perfect. I don’t know who I can talk to about this without them telling me to just break up with him. Everything is so new so I think they’d chalk it up to my intuition. But I do want to be in love and have less fear around relationships, so I don’t want to give into the fear. I think it could help me to set boundaries and have space for myself more often. I think I need some advice or insight. I know I shouldn’t ask for reassurance, but having some around how other people have felt at the beginning of a relationship would help. Why is it that the label is freaking me out so much? How do you guys set boundaries to prioritize yourself when you feel this way?
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