Is this ROCD or not? I continuously keep having doubts about my feelings for my boyfriend. I’ve never had this before with my previous relationships and it’s really upsetting because this is the first boy that’s actually treating me like how i deserve. I feel like i’m in a bubble when it’s to do with him. I feel like i can’t emotionally get to him or connect to him. Whenever I think about him or see photos of him i get anxious and stuff. I know i want to be with him forever and i panic about it going wrong. I’m scared i’m going to end up giving in to the doubts and end it😞Whenever i think about the future it makes me anxious, it’s like i’m turning my emotions off. I keep crying after being intimate with him and i don’t know why, i’m panicking it’s because i’m losing feelings for him. I look at other couples and ask myself why am i not like them, why am i not in love like them. They make it look easy and it’s making me doubt everything. I’ve been with my boyfriend for 5 months and it’s amazing when i don’t have these horrendous doubts. He’s so patient with me and he loves me and worships the ground that I walk on yet and I still have these doubts. They came when our relationship started getting serious. I keep asking my friends and mum for reassurance if i love him and it’s making me so so sad. I feel like if i love him i shouldn’t be having these feelings. He’s not done anything wrong and i feel so guilty for it. Is this OCD or me? Plz help :(

Relationship OCD

Jesse Miller

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Hey! I have been here. I don't want to give you an answer that will give you reassurance, but even in healthy relationships - it is normal to have doubts. When you start to have these thoughts and get anxious, just take time to sit with the thoughts. They don't need answers. ROCD will make you feel like you need to avoid your relationship and confess that you have these feelings. It makes you feel like you're a bad partner, but don't let it trick you! Give acceptance that you won't like your partner every day. Our brains are funny with chemicals and sometimes we just don't feel as drawn to them as we do other days. Accept that this will happen, accept that you will have days where it will feel as if it won't work, but that doesn't mean you have to find a compulsion to get out of the relationship. Soon enough, you'll look back and think about how silly it was that you got so anxious over these thoughts. You got this!

eoid

Date posted: 3y

Hi. I'm on this app for a while and you wrote exactly my same story. Distressing if you love him enough, If you're connected enough, keep questioning about your feelings, asking for reassurance... I don't have a diagnosis made by a professionist; but that sounds exactly rocd!!

eoid

Date posted: 3y

Remember that thoughts can't make you a bad person! They aren't nothing if you don't act on them! Also, if you keep searching for an answer, you will never find one! Because once you had find it; you will have to prove it to yourself! =more doubts! (So try to don't answer!!!) Most important, the more you want to feel something, the less you will be able to feel. If you keep thinking "what do I feel now, do I feel enough, let's see if I feel enough attracted, enough in love etc" that will "kill" your real feelings and bring only anxiety/ apathy!

Antarctic Fox

Date posted: 3y

I saw this post and legit thought I was reading my own post for a second... At the time I thought maybe it was rocd but then it I thought it was relationship anxiety but recently I went to a psychiatrist and now I know I have OCD so that answers that question

Antarctic Fox

Date posted: 3y

Sorry I forgot to answer your question, it sounds so much like my experience that it definitely sounds like relationship ocd!

Exseii

Date posted: 3y

Oh man, I'm going through almost the exact same. Having a mind like that is quite unfair /: I don't know if it's OCD but it could be (I am u diagnosed too). This might as well be relationship anxiety as those two are almost identical. Try to stop asking people for reassurance, love is a choice. If u decide to be with him then stay, even if Ur head makes it feel like u don't want that to be your choice ( I suffer from this, but I know better than my feelings and emotions when I make this decision).

eoid

Date posted: 3y

I want to share my experience! I have like you, doubts on mine feelings about the rightness of the relationship etc. But I really wanted to be with this guy. I was in conflict with myself, I felt so guilty, and I was thrown in a spiral of doubt -> anxiety & guilt & sadness -> can't feel positive feelings -> more doubts! I started to be really depressed, because I thought exactly like you that if I have these doubts that already means that they are true. (Spoiler! They are not!) I kept proving myself, like "oh he is Hugging me, what do I feel? Do I feel enough?" And "if I think to him, I don't feel very much! So I probably don't love him enough, we should broke up"... I kept searching for answers; but that only worsened things! I came to the conclusion, that decisions in love, like in everything else, should be something that we do spontaneously, and most important don't cause anxiety and bad feelings! I used to think "if someone asks me if I want a glass of water, the answer is a yes o no, without even thinking about it! Every decision should be like that!!" So i started to searching for help me, and for me the game changer whas therapy + this app, when I finally understand everything! Now I'm still struggling sometimes, but I'm mostly happy, and i can enjoy back again my relationship.

Uypvqcm5

Date posted: 22w

ROCD

For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..

Mariabae

Date posted: 12w

please read

Lately, I’ve been feeling extremely confused and guilty. My boyfriend has been really busy with exams, and we haven’t talked much this past week. I don’t really feel like I miss him, and that scares me. It makes me think maybe I don’t love him anymore, maybe I’ve changed, and maybe this relationship doesn’t feel right for me anymore. A few days ago, a friend invited me to go to a club with her and another girl. I know that if I went without my boyfriend, he would feel bad — not because he’s controlling, but because in our relationship, we’ve always had mutual boundaries and respect. I decided not to go, but ever since, I’ve been spiraling. My thoughts keep going: “What if I didn’t go just because of him?”, “What if I actually wanted to go, but I stopped myself because I don’t really love him?”, “What if I’m holding myself back and this relationship is limiting me?” All of this makes me think I’m bored, that I don’t like him anymore, or that I’m staying out of habit. It’s hard to tell what I really want or whether these thoughts are part of ROCD or some deeper truth. I keep wondering if I’m just attached to him because he’s my first boyfriend and we’ve been together for so long. Sometimes I even think I wouldn’t care if we broke up, and that I don’t feel anything for him anymore — and that absolutely destroys me, because he’s such a good person who truly loves me. He doesn’t deserve to be treated with so much doubt and coldness. I feel miserable. I don’t know what’s real and what’s just obsession. It hurts that I can’t feel any clarity or peace. I just want to know if this is ROCD or if I’m in denial and refusing to accept the truth

Mariabae

Date posted: 7w

panic. scared. it feels real

Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?

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