- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve had ROCD pop up a lot through various relationships. I didn’t know what it was though for quite some time. Once I recognized it and got treatment, things got much better and I feel like I have a much healthier view of love, relationships, and partnership. I am able to trust more, be a better partner, and form closer bonds with less anxiety. Treatment is key. Ocd is ocd no matter what the theme. Once you learn to treat one theme, it will help you live your entire life with more awareness.
- Date posted
- 3y
Ps I’m in a long term relationship and just bought a house with my partner. Keep your head up. Put in the work and the work pays off. Promise.
- Date posted
- 3y
@pureolife thank you for all the encouragement and your words, i just genuinely feel so confused and at a loss but if i give up i feel like i’d really regret it. so i’m genuinely trying all i can
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes hello. My rocd has just started about a month or two ago. It was so bad that I ended up at a emergency psychiatric hospital. I was so alone and I felt so down. i also found out about rocd a month ago. It was amazing. I ofc had compulsions that were watching videos on rocd and reading about it. I couldn't sleep, eat, even be alive at that point I started to become suicidal as well but that was because I didn't see a way out I thought I was crazy and loosing it. I had a lot of panic attacks as well with which my mom helped me a lot with. Im now at a point that I can sleep! Omg I can't explain how nice that is. I can be with my partner without having a panic attack or even throwing up. Its the little things that matter. And remember love is a choice not a feeling. Feelings and thoughts constantly change. Stay hopeful.
- Date posted
- 3y
i’m very glad to hear that you’re able to sleep now, it’s just hard because at the end of the day i want the best for them and i worry if all these doubts and worries in my head are for a genuine reason, but thank you so much for the hope and reminding me that feelings and thoughts do constantly change. i needed that reminder truly.
- Date posted
- 3y
It will get better again! I struggled a lot with it for years but now having a pretty good time,at least for my rocd...not really sure what made the difference,I still have to start therapy...but I think understanding it and then telling myself it's ok not to find my partner the best and sexiest etc. All the time,that being afraid I don't love him is OCDand maybe also not thinking about the big word and m animg of love too much but just that I enjoy being with him in the moment my OCD is quiet...so in the moment I can quite enjoy my time with him again without always checking my feelings constantly...it's great,fight for that and if you can get help wo it doesn't take so long to get better I would say! You can do this!
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you so much for your optimism, i feel very confused at the moment but i still don’t want to give up. it feels like a constant fight with my brain but i know deep down i still want this, wishing you all the best for you and your relationship
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 21w
Looking back, my introverted nature and struggles to find belonging in high school may have set the stage for how OCD would later impact my relationships. I had my first relationship in high school, but OCD wasn’t a major factor then. It wasn’t until my longest relationship—six years from age 18 to 24—that OCD really took hold. The relationship itself wasn’t the issue; it was what happened after. When it ended, I became obsessed with confessing past mistakes, convinced I had to be completely transparent. Even when my partner was willing to work past them, I couldn’t let go of the intrusive thoughts, and that obsession landed me in the hospital. From there, my struggle with ROCD (Relationship OCD) fully emerged. For years, every time I tried to move forward in dating, doubts consumed me. I would start seeing someone and feel fine, but then the questions would creep in: Do I really like her? Do I find her attractive? Is she getting on my nerves? What if I’m with the wrong person? I’d break things off, thinking I was following my true feelings. But then I’d question: Was that really how I felt, or was it just OCD? I tried again and again, each time hoping I could “withstand it this time,” only to fall back into the same cycle. The back and forth hurt both me and the person I was with. By the time I realized it was ROCD, the damage had been done, and I still hadn’t built the tools to manage it. Now, at 28, I know I need to approach dating differently. I recently talked to someone from a dating app, and my OCD still showed up—questioning my every move, making me doubt my own decisions. I haven’t yet done ERP specifically for ROCD, but I know that’s my next step. Just like I’ve learned tools for managing my other OCD subtypes, I need a set of strategies for when intrusive doubts hit in relationships. My goal this year is to stop letting uncertainty control me—to learn how to sit with doubt instead of trying to “figure it out.” I want to break the cycle and be able to build something healthy without my OCD sabotaging it. I know I’m not alone in this, and I know healing is possible. I’m hopeful that working with a therapist will help me develop exposures and thought loops to practice. I don’t expect to eliminate doubt entirely—after all, doubt is a part of every relationship—but I want to reach a place where it doesn’t paralyze me. Where I can move forward without constantly questioning whether I should. And where I can be in a relationship without feeling like OCD is pulling the strings. I would appreciate hearing about your experiences with ROCD. Please share your thoughts or any questions in the comments below. I’d love to connect and offer my perspective. Thanks!
- Date posted
- 17w
Hey everyone, First time posting here! Wanted to share my story for some support but also to hopefully make others feel less alone. In short - my ROCD has made such a mess of my personal life. I was in a great relationship until spring of last year, at which point we separated mainly due to my ROCD. I struggled heavily with OCD about 10 years ago (harm based intrusive thoughts, sexual orientation ocd, etc). It took a lot of work but I was able to mostly overcome my struggles and truthfully, hadn’t given ocd much thought since then. I thought I was cured. And then 10 years later I am in a very fulfilling relationship with a girl I really love, but at about the year mark in my relationship things really changed. She wanted to have a conversation about next steps (moving in, marriage, kids, etc) and at that point my brain just went into panic mode and the ocd took over. From that point on, I was constantly scanning for red flags, felt very reserved when it came to any sort of statement or commitment and tended to avoid anything that would indicate I was committed to a long term future. It was not that I didn’t love it was just that my ocd was doing anything to keep me from making a big commitment. It eventually got a point where we had a big conversation about breaking up or staying together and my OCD convinced me that it was safer and that I would do less harm to her if we ended things, which was incredibly devastating to me. At the time I felt like my obsessing over small red flags were normal and that I needed to protect myself. I just had no clue it was ROCD. I spent the next 8 months missing her and kicking myself for my mistakes, and I eventually got the courage to reach out and see if she’d be willing to talk again, which she was. But the problem is, at this point I still didn’t know it was ocd. So when we talked again I was still plagued by ROCD as all the same thoughts and feelings came flooding back. We tried to talk through things but once again I was unable to make any sort of commitment to the future so it went nowhere. Once again, I am feeling very sad and angry at myself for not being able to handle ROCD. I feel like I let it control me twice and has robbed me of a lot of happiness and hurt someone I care very much about. I understand it’s probably not best to just look at ourselves with anger and guilt all the time but it’s hard not to when you feel like you just caused so much harm. Anyone feel like they can relate? Or if anyone is going through something similar I am happy to chat as ROCD can really be tricky. Thanks
- Date posted
- 7w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
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