- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve had ROCD pop up a lot through various relationships. I didn’t know what it was though for quite some time. Once I recognized it and got treatment, things got much better and I feel like I have a much healthier view of love, relationships, and partnership. I am able to trust more, be a better partner, and form closer bonds with less anxiety. Treatment is key. Ocd is ocd no matter what the theme. Once you learn to treat one theme, it will help you live your entire life with more awareness.
- Date posted
- 3y
Ps I’m in a long term relationship and just bought a house with my partner. Keep your head up. Put in the work and the work pays off. Promise.
- Date posted
- 3y
@pureolife thank you for all the encouragement and your words, i just genuinely feel so confused and at a loss but if i give up i feel like i’d really regret it. so i’m genuinely trying all i can
- Date posted
- 3y
Yes hello. My rocd has just started about a month or two ago. It was so bad that I ended up at a emergency psychiatric hospital. I was so alone and I felt so down. i also found out about rocd a month ago. It was amazing. I ofc had compulsions that were watching videos on rocd and reading about it. I couldn't sleep, eat, even be alive at that point I started to become suicidal as well but that was because I didn't see a way out I thought I was crazy and loosing it. I had a lot of panic attacks as well with which my mom helped me a lot with. Im now at a point that I can sleep! Omg I can't explain how nice that is. I can be with my partner without having a panic attack or even throwing up. Its the little things that matter. And remember love is a choice not a feeling. Feelings and thoughts constantly change. Stay hopeful.
- Date posted
- 3y
i’m very glad to hear that you’re able to sleep now, it’s just hard because at the end of the day i want the best for them and i worry if all these doubts and worries in my head are for a genuine reason, but thank you so much for the hope and reminding me that feelings and thoughts do constantly change. i needed that reminder truly.
- Date posted
- 3y
It will get better again! I struggled a lot with it for years but now having a pretty good time,at least for my rocd...not really sure what made the difference,I still have to start therapy...but I think understanding it and then telling myself it's ok not to find my partner the best and sexiest etc. All the time,that being afraid I don't love him is OCDand maybe also not thinking about the big word and m animg of love too much but just that I enjoy being with him in the moment my OCD is quiet...so in the moment I can quite enjoy my time with him again without always checking my feelings constantly...it's great,fight for that and if you can get help wo it doesn't take so long to get better I would say! You can do this!
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you so much for your optimism, i feel very confused at the moment but i still don’t want to give up. it feels like a constant fight with my brain but i know deep down i still want this, wishing you all the best for you and your relationship
Related posts
- Date posted
- 24w
Hi everyone. I’ve been struggling for a long time with what I believe is ROCD. I constantly have doubts about my feelings toward my boyfriend. I feel numb, disconnected, unsure if I ever truly loved him, and sometimes I fear that I’m just pretending or lying to myself. I don’t feel happy when I think of him, I don’t miss him, and when I imagine doing things together, I feel nothing. And that terrifies me. But what hurts me even more right now is that my psychologist told me she doesn’t think I have OCD. She said I just believe it’s wrong not to like my boyfriend, and that’s why I’m stuck — because I can’t accept that I don’t like him. This only made my fears worse. Now I keep thinking: “What if I’m just in denial?” “What if I’m writing all this because I want it to be ROCD so I can feel better about not loving him?” But deep down, I’m suffering. I feel trapped in a fog of anxiety and detachment. I’ve had obsessive thoughts since I was little — especially intrusive ones, like inappropriate words or thoughts that made me feel really guilty. I would even tell my mom about them. So now I’m wondering… was this OCD all along? Why does it feel like my pain is invisible? And the worst part is… he loves me so much. He shows it in so many ways. He truly cares. But I don’t feel connected to him. I look at him and I feel nothing. Sometimes I feel like I’m acting — like I’m just going through the motions. And that makes me feel like the worst person in the world. I feel like no one else has ROCD like mine. That maybe I’m the exception. That maybe I’m not really struggling with OCD — maybe I’m just lying to myself. But I don’t want to lie. I want peace. I want to feel love again. I want to feel like myself again. If anyone has gone through this, or has felt the same after being dismissed by a therapist, please let me know. I feel so scared and alone. Thank you for reading.
- Date posted
- 20w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 19w
Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.
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