- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I can’t even type with confidence that I love my partner, which reinforces obsession. I get triggered when people say “ I know I love my partner but…” because I feel like I can’t even say that, S if I don’t know for sure…then I have these moments of clarity sometimes where I feel immense love for my partner, and I say it by accident…it’s all very confusing. I love my partner. Fuck, that was distressing to type haha.
- Date posted
- 3y
Big respect for this
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
1. Get off the NOCD app and stop posting. Iv noticed that you constantly ask for reassurance in your posts. This is a compulsion and will only fuel your OCD. 2. Get off of forums like Reddit and google. This as well will only fuel your OCD, and when you think you’ve found your “answer” OCD will just come back with more doubt. 3. Find a therapist who you can talk to and start therapy . NOCD has great therapist who can definitely help you. And therapy as well as ERP is what is going to help you get better. 4. Certainy is an illusion at best; nothing in life is 100% certain. Iv seen you struggle for a long time. And you will only get better if you stop with the complusions and let uncertainty in. I know how hard it is to want to feel like you again, to want to feel the love for your partner, but posting and ruminating about it and wishing it isn’t going to change anything. You getting help is the first step. Best Wishes.
- Date posted
- 3y
This is such a good post..do you have any more tips. I'm gonna make this my phone wallpaper cause it applies to me too el
- Date posted
- 3y
A "what if" doubt!! A lot of "what if doubts" actually! Remember what I told you in the previous post!! And DO IT I know you FEEL that it is the right thing to do. break up; is not the answer. Or better, is the answer if you want to lose him. You don't need to feel the sparkle to know that you love him. It's a choice. If you want to stay, stay, even if you don't feel so.
- Date posted
- 3y
Nobody even knows what the legitimate reasons for attracting to someone are or staying with them. So why should your attraction be any more or less valid for any particular reasons? Whether because of attachment or ROCD or anything else who cares about any of the indirect evidence. Only the direct evidence that you choose to stay with each other in this particular moment matters, not the ex
- Date posted
- 3y
It’s just…. Sunday I did amazing. I knew I love him and knew I wanted to stay and then stressful things happen and I start thinking negatively. The thing is I stayed off of Reddit and the NOCD app all day Sunday. I did amazing. He even gave me a lay down hug and it made me happy. But now it’s like I don’t love him and I am just denying my true feelings. I kept telling myself this is just a dream a really bad dream. 😖 I don’t want to break up but it’s like I just want to leave…😞
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y
Related posts
- Date posted
- 17w
Right now I feel like I’ve realized something awful. Like maybe… I never truly loved my boyfriend. Maybe in the beginning I was just excited to be in a relationship. Maybe I confused that excitement with real love. And when the intrusive thoughts started, maybe it wasn’t ROCD — maybe it was the truth hitting me. I write this and it feels real. That’s the scariest part. It feels calm and clear and like maybe I’ve just been lying to myself all along, holding on because I “should,” not because I truly want to. I can’t remember how it felt to love him — and that makes it worse. I feel so disconnected, so numb, like nothing makes sense anymore. Every time I try to feel something for him, it feels like I’m faking it. Like I’m playing a role, not being myself. But the thing is… I’m not at peace. If this was really the truth, why does it hurt so much? Why does this “realization” come with panic, guilt, emptiness, and so much fear? I don’t want to hurt him. I don’t want to lose him. But I also don’t want to keep living like this — doubting myself, my feelings, and my past. I feel like I’m stuck in a cycle I can’t break, and I’m scared I’ll always feel this way. Has anyone ever felt like this before?
- Date posted
- 16w
I know it’s long but plz read :( have been having really bad ocd about my relationship and my partner and it has gotten worse and worse over the span of like about nine months I’d say. I do acknowledge there are flaws and legit issues about him and the relationship like there are with anyone but I also know ocd has clouded my judgement and perception by analyzing everything and compulsions. For a while I kept feeling this need to get out which I know was ocd. I was really scared to spend the weekend with him because I thought I would just be annoyed and irritated cause it’s been that way for a while but he also was going through a period of high stress so maybe I was resenting him for that and I also wasn’t communicating how I should have been when I was upset because I’ve done that too much in the past. This weekend I was told in therapy to just be in the moment and not have to worry about trying to answer the question of do I love him or should I break up. It did help but It’s weird cause this weekend ended up better but I also was kind of numb? Like I was enjoying myself but didn’t feel what I always have felt in the past? Anyway, I am really anxious because i feel like if I loved him I would be supportive of when his parents compliment him or when he does well at something when instead all I think of are that I’m not happy or annoyed because of things he does that upset me or make me mad and it’s like that’s the only way my brain wants to see him as a person. Or when he is upset it feels like I don’t care like I used to because I think of how he doesn’t deserve this when he does this or he shouldn’t have this when he is like this etc. Why does my brain automatically go there? That’s horrible! I feel like I should be excited for him, rooting for him. But it also feels like I do care for him? But my thoughts keep changing. I am afraid I only am with him because I love that he loves me and how he treats me. This makes me feel selfish cause I can’t do that. I notice I still like when he cuddles me and is sweet to me and does fun things watching movies etc. And that’s not how it used to feeel which scares me because I don’t want to be without him. I also love his parents am I only with him cause of how his parents treat me? I feel so selfish and like I have to tell him and break up with him cause it’s the right thing to do. I never used to feel like this. I’m scared. Is it possible I’m just I’ve been mad and resenting how it’s been cause he’s been stressed mix with my ocd? My therapist said relationships can go through phases. Can I fall back in love with him again? I feel like I have to try to start with someone else like this is too far gone. I don’t want to stay in something where I don’t feel toward him the way I want to but I really don’t want to leave him. I feel like such an awful person cause he doesn’t deserve this and is so caring and loving despite everything the major thing that bugs me is how he gets irritable a lot which is an imperfection that makes me get anxious and question him😭 trying not to read into this and just follow what the therapist said but this is scaring me because I feel like if I loved him I wouldn’t think like this or feel like this.
- Date posted
- 15w
I have had ROCD in my relationship for a while and I’ve always been having the feeling do I break up so I not but even with the anxiety I still felt love and knew I didn’t want to be without him. But now it feels different. What scares me is it feels like I could actually see myself wanting to date someone else because of qualities he doesn’t have. I keep seeing him as overall bad. For more context he is caring, generous, we are very similar, but have different communication styles and talking issues out is hard for him. He also can be irritable easily, he doesn’t like talking things out that much and there’s a bit of a maturity difference which I know is sometning that can grow. Lately I feel like when I’m around him I am just frustrated with how he is acting like when he does something that upsets me like makes a joke about something he knows isn’t funny and bothersome to me, he’ll say sorry but then end up doing it again. Even though I know he really does care about me which I know it feels like he only cares about him doing wrong like he doesn’t want to do wrong instead of actually wanting to fix my feelings being hurt cause when he asks if I’m upset and I say yes he will get upset and try to be defensive and it makes me feel he cares more about being wrong. I also have had less empathy toward him which really scares me because I am a very empathetic person but I am hoping it’s just cause of bad ocd and built frustrations. Also, I do know cause he has told me and I’ve seen it that he always wants to impress his parents and not make them mad because they pick at him the minute he does wrong. This is probably why it’s hard to talk things out but lately I have been feeling like I can’t say anything cause he will just get more anxious or shut down or not want to hear it. Anyway, what makes me anxious is it feels like I don’t feel anything anymore and my brain is saying the only reason why I get anxious thinking of not being together is because I hate change and cause he is the first person I’m with. But I keep going back and forth. It’s so hard to be around him now. All I’m trying to think of is evidence that I still love him or the good things about him. I’m really afraid this isn’t ocd and that it has just morphed into it just isn’t working anymore. Some feelings like less love feel real but also ocd gets in between everything and it’s so fuzzy. I am afraid deep down I really know. My brain keeps saying I can’t be with him anymore cause I can’t be with someone if I feel like this about him. Meaning if I don’t have empathy for him cause I’m frustrated or whatever and if all I can see his bad even though I know there is good. It also says if I was with someone else that was a little nicer or could talk things out or whatever imaginary scenario in my head I wouldn’t feel like this😭 and I love the family and it keeps saying I’m only staying cause of the family. And some of this I’m like wait that might be true and I have to rest and review and I’m exhausted. And one minute I want to leave the next I don’t….im worried the only reason I am with him is cause of how great things were or cause he loves me and not me loving him.
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