TW*** Im at a loss of words now, i think I just realized Im transgender last night and had a massive panic attack. I googled tocd when i already had a feeling that its not tocd and ended up reading someones post who transitioned from a boy to a girl and many other comments about how they were in denial and I was able to relate to quite many things there, it sent me into an attack, ive literally never felt something like that before, my whole body shook, knees felt weak and couldnt focus, went to sleep and had dreams, everything in the dream was relating to transgender and woke up with anxiety and feel completely broken down and hollow inside, I can barely talk, my face looks like an empty void and droopy. I dont know what to do, I feel extreme shame and embarassment, my whole life flashed before me and how this would affect my family and my life. It really feels like this is the real me, and now I feel like Ive never actually felt like a proper man because I didnt know what It felt like and I was just acting to be a man and theres alot of proof that came with with it. I dont know what im going to do guys, this really cant be happening man. Someone help please please

OneDayAtATime

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Ok so if u are gay or trans( which I doubt u are) , whats next? Are u just gonna come on the app and ask for help? Or are u gonna accept it and start getting better? In my opinion if u are so distressed about these thoughts that u are gay and or trans, then you probably aren’t. And when u look things up to prove that you are, your ocd picks everything and anything to use agaisnt u. Idk if u understand that OCD is in ur brain and has as much disposal to information as you. Its a disorder of uncertainty, u are worried abour being gay because u aren’t sure. Humans love control and to be certain, but when given uncertainty it causes fear and anxeity beccause we arent in control and when that becomes an obsrssion it becomes OCD

Imaan7

Date posted: 3y

What I said arent even tocd symptoms, what am I gonna do? Im freaking out man, I want to cry

Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

This is how ocd attacks! I think exposure therapy with NOCD or any other therapist would help. This is how it feels. Don’t let ocd take over your world. I have so many types- I have just started . It brought over my previous phobia attacks but did not bother me as much.

Imaan7

Date posted: 3y

How is this ocd?

arunb

Date posted: 3y

Well, I want to be a woman but I can't stand a thought of not passing. I don't want to be transgender. I want to be a woman. I feel like shaming embarrassment but largely because I know that I can never actually be a woman. I can just be a person with either transgenderism gender dysphoria, maybe t OCD and the the feeling of being women doesn't even last for me. Want to be a man sometime to flip back and forth depending on the day how I'm feeling so who the heck knows. No matter what I choose, I'm going to feel shame and embarrassed either because I neglected to transition when I would have passed more earlier in life and could have transitioned earlier

OneDayAtATime

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 3y

Bro u have OCD. Like plain and simple. Every symptom you have is OCD and you looking it up is just reassurance. The first step to u getting better is accepting u have OCD, if u dont accept it u cant even begin to try and get bbetter

Imaan7

Date posted: 3y

Bro, No, its not ocd, its literally not reassurance only works for people with ocd nothing has convinced me in months that I do have ocd, nothing! And I will go for a walk but Its not that what if im gay or trans, I think I am. Everything jn my head makes sense, and how ive been wrong about my sexuality and gender this whole time and through Hocd obsession I found my true self. This is just what my life is now, I dont know who to talk to or what to do.

BipolarOCDsu...

Date posted: 3y

@Imaan7 As someone who also has tocd, I can tell that you’re not trans. Reassurance does not actually convince people that they’re not trans. It only brings brief relief until the thoughts come back more distressing and frequently.

Imaan7

Date posted: 3y

@Owen Roberts I dont think this is tocd man, I dont know what it is. I believe Im just trans and never understood what being an actual Man actually felt like up until this hit me and the thought that im a woman and doing things with men seems to arouse me, I cant see men as just men my brain is percieveing them as sexual and romantic beings and it feels like Im liking it. It also feels like If I wasnt part of a big family, was rich and lived in a completely new country Id be ok with wanting to be a woman. I was able to relate to that persons post on reddit who transitioned and some other few comments, that panic attack from last night is still lingering. This is literally not ocd man and like I know its not too.

BipolarOCDsu...

Date posted: 3y

@Imaan7 If you’re having panic attacks over this it seems like it is OCD man. I’ve had similar experiences where I “test” how I would feel being a woman and experiencing sex from a woman’s perspective, and it is certainly arousing. But that has nothing to do with my actual identity. And “liking it” I think is what they call a backward spike. I guess all I would say is if you’re actually trans you should come out to your family.

Imaan7

Date posted: 3y

@Owen Roberts Thats so triggring to hear man and makes me want to Kms

BipolarOCDsu...

Date posted: 3y

@Imaan7 I would just relax bro. It’s obvious to me you have OCD.

Imaan7

Date posted: 3y

@Owen Roberts How man, its really not man

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