- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
The first and most important thing is don't give up. It won't always be this bad. Think back to a time when you were in a better mindset or had a couple good days - you will get there again. You need to believe that, you will get there again. In regards to the therapy - keep working on your mom while trying to show love and compassion towards her as well. Does she understand how much OCD has disrupted your life? Does she know how much it tortures you? Sometimes it's not obvious to others or they convince themselves not to see it and that everything is fine. If this doesn't work - could you possibly get a job or other income to try and pay for therapy? You could also keep trying to do ERP - starting very small, and maybe with the help of extensive OCD tutorials - have you tried Katie D'Ath's videos on YouTube? I know it is awful to feel stuck but there is always something we can do to improve our situation. What about just general health and habits? Can you workout/exercise more at home? Can you improve your sleep habits and ensure you get enough sleep daily? Can you Improve your diet and get better nutrition? Good luck and hang in there.
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you so much! I am trying my best not to give up. I feel so alone and I appreciate someone is out there. I WILL try all of this!!!!
- Date posted
- 3y
Hi! My name is Tyler Devine and I am one of the advocates here at NOCD. First off, you’re an incredible writer. Sometimes putting these feelings and thoughts into the atmosphere is what helps the most. I have battled OCD most of my life, but really didn’t start working on it until about 5 years ago. Having a brain that is built for OCD is both a blessing and a curse. We analyze everything, feel everything, hear everything etc. No matter what subtype you deal with, OCD at its core looks the same for everyone. The awesome thing is is that you are not alone! Millions of others are right there with you, dealing with the same issues. ERP is one of the hardest things to do in the mental health arena, in my opinion. However, starting small and at your own pace is key. It’s nice that your boyfriend can understand and is supportive of you with it. That being said, he cannot feel/think what you do so explaining it over and over can be overwhelming. Continue to learn about OCD (the ins and outs, new studies, etc), reach out and help others in need, and honestly dig into your faith. Faith 🙏 has not only put me at peace in the world, but it has had a significant impact on my battle with OCD! Stay positive and never settle Ty
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you! I have had OCD most of my life as well, and I’m about done with it. I want to take the initiative to get better, but it’s super hard being isolated and having no therapy. I feel much better knowing I’m not alone. Thanks again for responding I really appreciate it. I feel so happy today, and I won’t give up getting help❤️❤️❤️❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
I'm soooo sorry to hear this! Your mother should really help you! Is there any chance you could get a job (depending on your age) so you could pay it yourself? Also: YouTube really helped me: nathan petterson i think was his name, he has some super helpful tips for that!
- Date posted
- 3y
Thank you for the reply! I have had a job, and I had to quit due to anxiety, but I really want a job as soon as I can have a stable routine. As of right now, I don’t think I could handle a job with out being more stable! My sister has a job and has told my mom she would pay for it (my sister is a mental health advocate and she knows how bad my health is) my mom got super defensive. It’s okay because I will try my best and not give up! Thank you for the suggestion I’ll check him out!
- Date posted
- 3y
@dieinaholeocdurabutt Oh gosh... Your mom sounds very unsupportive. I'm so sorry. People don't understand how hard anxiety can be and how limiting it is! Have you tried Noocd? You don't need anyone's approval for it (i think) you can just sign up and go :)
- Date posted
- 3y
@k-low I will check it out! I am glad I have people that understand and have suggestions, so thank you again ❤️
- Date posted
- 3y
Sending support and empathy your way! I understand how rough things can be when you're feeling triggered by everything. You're incredibly strong and you will persevere! I hope you'll have easier days ahead and that you'll be able to get on track with ERP, even if you start really small and make baby steps of progress. You can do this 💜 Also, your username made me legitimately laugh out loud so thank you for that - I needed it this evening 🥰
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
First off - I’m sorry, I post here a lot. My thoughts are going to be scattered because I have the adhd/ocd/executive dysfunction wombo combo. Im so embarrassed I am THIS neurodivergent. I swear my brain couldn’t pick one struggle and settle with it. I’m not making these diagnoses quirky personality traits by any means, in fact, in this post im venting about how exhausting and embarassed I am living with a brain like this on the daily. I need to hear someone’s advice please. I love hearing everyone’s advice on posts because it’s so useful, and brings me back down to reality. Everyone on here gives advice so tastefully in a way where it doesn’t feed into the self reassurance compulsion, but it’s also been thorough and constructive enough where it’s reminded me to ground myself in a healthy way. I love seeing others helping others, it soothes me. This community has been so kind, and I’m so happy I found it. I wish I could ask more, but I have so many questions I think it’d drive everyone here crazy lol. I am doing erp therapy now, and it’s been teaching me so many amazing techniques. I’ve been making progress. However, I sometimes have my moments of vunerablity. I’ve been experiencing this especially now more than ever because I am going through a breakup. He did it through text after nearly 9 months together. I’d do anything for him and love him through anything, and he broke my heart when I least expected it. I’d make his bed for him multiple times, but I haven’t done that for myself in years. I’d sit with him for hours to watch and do anything he likes, but he’d never do the same and I’d never do the same for me. I’m also at fault because I was too scared to speak up so I let a lot of disrespect slide. Why did my ocd do that? Why does ocd make me people please even when I don’t want to? Why does OCD make me care so much about things that will never effect me (like wanting validation from a random person on the street and hoping they’ll think I’m pretty enough to look at), but then when it comes to my future or positive wellbeing (like focusing on college/doing well in classes/personal hygiene/health), forces me to not care/neglect myself and those needs? I don’t understand it. Ocd makes me think everything’s a setup or a trap. I can never believe that I am fine right where I want to be. Why am I so hard on myself? Why do I even think this much? I care and feel so deeply but it becomes unhealthy so fast because ocd makes me fixate and I stay there for a while. For some reason I let this breakup define my self worth. I let it topple into the ocd fear that I will never make it in life - that I won’t be successful, I’ll never get the career I want, the love I want, or the life I want. My OCD’s version of “logic” isn’t even logical. Yes, I understand how the breakup means feelings of low self worth which will then topple into feeling bad about other things. But why has my brain been wired to think this way? Why does it seem so easy for everyone else to function normally with life but not me? Honestly this is the first time in my life where I’m dedicated to focusing on myself and learning more about myself instead of others in my life and it’s a very odd and bizarre feeling. I’m excited of course, but I’m also scared. My ocd makes me ruminate like “what if I will never make the most of this life I’ve been given”, “what if I truly have no worth and the most I will ever be in other people’s lives is a background character”, “why do I care if I’m a background character or not? I should feel guilty and ignorant for assuming everyone will automatically like me”, “are people lying to me when they call me pretty, smart or kind?”, “I need to look and sound perfect in both pictures, videos and in real life. I will never be satisfied for accepting who I am now”, and a bunch of other annoying questions. But sometimes it’s like I just can’t take the reality for what it is but at the same time, but I also acknowledge that I know this is ocd talking. This is so, so difficult. Do I make any sense with what I’m saying? Can anyone help?
- Date posted
- 24w
I don’t know where to begin, this is going to be very long. But whoever responds I appreciate you dearly. I’m 20 years old, I’ve dealt with a lot in my childhood with abandonment and insecurity issues from my family. Aswell of not having a role model of a healthy relationship shown to me as a child. Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years, my first healthy relationship. Last year I discovered OCD (I am diagnosed but I ignored my mental health as a teenager like anybody would) I started to get these feelings that I don’t love my partner/he’s not attractive enough/ etc etc. I’ve discovered that it’s ROCD. I made threads on Reddit asking for advice googling for reassurance, all the things as one would do with ocd (as I’m doing now!) One day I woke up and that theme was gone, I felt normal in my relationship for about 4 months with no terrible thoughts. As of about 2-3 months ago, my theme switched. Now I have a fear he doesn’t love me, he’s cheating, he doesn’t want to marry me. It has utterly consumed me (just like my last theme!) I check his phone an unhealthy amount (guess what I never find anything!) He always lets me go through his phone, but as anyone would he gets annoyed and frustrated. I always am searching for signs if he’s acting weird, will get into arguments 24/7 because my brain keeps telling me he’s cheating, I get fake scenarios in my brain, hell I even bought Snapchat+ to stalk his snap score. But ever single time I find nothing. A lot of things trigger me and I over analyze everything, phone calls who his texting. When I do search his phone I check his EMAIL because of how paranoid I am. When I see things on social media about people cheating I SPIRALLLL But what really triggered me was this scenario, his family loves to joke around with me and mess with him at the same time, especially with our relationship, saying I have a leash on him etc etc making jokes (which I can take but when I’m in an ocd spiral and they have no idea something’s are triggering) anyways, we were out to lunch and his mother texts him “are u at some girls house” he told me straight away then responded “why would u say that” then she proceeded to say she’s messing around with him. And sent a picture of me and said I’m with Hailey at lunch, then they had a normal conversation after. Obviously this sent me into a spiral, it still bothers me. I was so upset and anxious, when we got back to his house I went through that man’s phone like it was my only job in the world. And I search EVERYTHING not one thing goes untouched. (I sound insane) anyways we went back to his place, then he called his mom to come in his room and asked why she said that, she felt guilty and said she was messing around she had her hands in her head (mind you she’s been drinking probably just messing around with him when she texted that) she told me not to worry ever about that kind of stuff because her son is not that type of man, she proceeded to leave the room then texted me about how sorry she was and didn’t mean to freak me out and felt like shit about it. Ever since then she’s been acting kind of weird towards me (not really) maybe she’s uncomfortable or there’s another women idk LOL. Anyways yea what the hell do I do I literally can’t function properly.
- Date posted
- 16w
(Long post warning) Hi, I’ve been struggling with severe OCD for six years now. it started in 2019 with my theme being getting sick/emetophobia. it devastated my life. I almost didn’t graduate high school from it. I remember washing my hands for three hours one day until they were nearly bloody while crying and asking why I could not stop doing it. I remember id have to write and rewrite sentences when I did my English homework and that’s why I nearly failed that class. I remember how I would spend up to thirty minutes to an hour pacing the halls of my apartment while my mom was asleep until I neutralized the thoughts about throwing up and I could finally go to bed. I don’t know when it happened, but my theme switched. Sometimes in late 2020 or early 2021, it switched to POCD. It started with a single thought, and I focused on it and it’s been my theme since then for four years. It has been absolutely destroying me. I feel so disgusted and lost and just tired. My compulsions are severe now. I thought they were bad before, but now they’re ten times worse. I can’t eat, drink, change my clothes, walk, or even do things on my phone normally. I’ve developed so many mental compulsions that it’s so intricate and complicated yet at the same time I’ve done them so much that they’ve become normal. An example I have is if im putting on a shirt and I have a “bad” thought, I have to take it off and put it back on two more times (that’ll make it 3 times I put the shirt back on - odd numbers are my safe number). I have to have a good thought on the third time otherwise I have to take it off and put it on two more times to make it five times I put on that shirt. If not that then I just put on a different shirt because the original is now tainted with my bad thought. I can’t open apps on my phone. It’s with the numbers again. If I open TikTok once while having a bad thought - I have to close it and open it two more times and so on. Sometimes I do it up to 30 times. So I just don’t do things usually. I don’t turn on the TV because I know I’ll redo it. I don’t open a book or grab it off my shelf because I’ll have to repeat the action. I can’t even lay in bed without getting up and redoing it even if im exhausted. I just feel so helpless. I don’t know what to do. I feel disgusting and even now my minds screaming at me that I am dirty and what I think is true. I just wish I was free of this, I wish I could just live my life. I’ve wasted hours and days because of my compulsions. I mask it so well around my friends. I don’t do them in front of anyone or I’ve learned to hide it well. But when im back home alone, it goes haywire. I just want to live again.
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