- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
i know exactly what you’re going through. but i’ve been doing so much better and i’ve gotten here because i just let the thoughts pop up and i just don’t react to them or let them tell me who i am. i know exactly who i am and i know that these are just thoughts and i know that you can get through this too. i was at this exact same spot and then i just stopped caring and let the thoughts happen. i know this is going to be very hard but just accept the possibility. i know it’s so hard to do and yours probably saying, “but there is no possibility that i am gay so i can’t do that,” that’s what happened to me for a while. but now i’ve realized that it’s just accepting a possibility even though for me personally it’ll never be like that. i am straight and i know that but i just have to accept that these thoughts are just tricking me and they’re triggering my anxiety and all this sadness. just try and accept the uncertainty and just try not to let the thoughts get to you because it makes it so much worse. just know that we’re all here for you and i know exactly what you’re going through. i’m always here for you if you need to talk or if you need anything!
- Date posted
- 6y
That’s exactly me, though it’s with POCD, not HOCD. It just goes to show they OCD does the same stuff, just with different topics!
- Date posted
- 6y
I can totally relate =(
- Date posted
- 6y
i would say so. i used to have these thoughts 24/7 but now i’ve only had them 2 in the passed 2 weeks and i just let them happen. i try not to let them get to me because i truly know who i am and i know this is just a hurdle i have to get over
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you so much for this! It means a lot to me. I'll try to do this and hope for the best. Recovery from ocd is really scary, because it means accepting the possibility of being something that we actually don't want to be. All we want is just to wake up one day feeling completely at ease, and just seeing how silly this was. OCD gone for good.
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh, and by the way, are you being assisted by a therapist or are you doing this on your own?
- Date posted
- 6y
@ta exactly that’s what happened to me one day. i was just sitting there then a thought cane into my head saying “what if you’re gay” and that just really messed with me because i’ve NEVER had a thought of being with a girl in any type of way. that’s why i was so mad when these thoughts started taking over everything and i knew i needed to change something so i started just letting everything happen
- Date posted
- 6y
exactly it’s terrifying because it’s something that can just randomly start up one day and when you don’t know what it is you start to feel as if it’s true or you’ve been lying to yourself
- Date posted
- 6y
i have felt like that yes. i thought at first i was just gay, then it went to bisexual, then i thought asexual because i felt as if i didn’t have a crush on a guy at that time so i thought “oh you’re just not attracted to anyone” but i’m feeling so much better now
- Date posted
- 6y
i haven’t seen a therapist i’ve been doing this on my own @lavander
- Date posted
- 6y
i am positive. i’ve never had an attraction to a girl in my life. even when i look back at it i’ve never felt anything towards a girl. but it’s completely different with guys. i have these thoughts but it just randomly started but i know now that i can’t control the thoughts and i just can’t try and block them out or it’ll make things worse @ta
- Date posted
- 6y
That's so inspiring! My therapist isn't a specialist and her treatment hasn't being effective. She says I don't have OCD because I can go on with my life (of course I do, my obsessions and compulsions are all in my head. I can get stuff done feeling overwhelmed and sad). I think she has no clue of what pure o is. She says I made up having ocd in my mind, but my symptoms had already started before I found out the possibility of this being this illness. It's just *impossible* that this is normal. I want to stop going there, she just keeps telling me to ignore these thoughts and do something else, as if I'm choosing to obsess over them. I'm just done.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 19w
Like I can’t think straight. This is making me doubt everything I’ve thought about myself and even makes me feel like I like the thoughts when I know I don’t. Like I would be less anxious at a time while I still have the thoughts and my mind would go “oh so you like it you must be gay” or the other one where I’m not anxious and I think of my attraction for girls that I’ve had my whole life and my mind goes “see now you’re not into them you’re gay” like it’s so stupid but so effective. I clearly remember being into girls my whole life but my mind is making me believe that all these attractions and feelings for women were all fake or “a thing of the past”. But I can still get aroused by women but I have this weird anxiety going on which brings these sensations/feelings and it’s so weird. Today I’ve spent my whole day thinking about it like I’ve been doing for 5 months now. I know that this aint normal but my mind just won’t let me live in peace. I never cared about my sexuality cuz I simply liked women my whole life but now my sexuality is a fundamental philosophy. I hate this.
- Date posted
- 12w
I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.
- Date posted
- 10w
I’ve been struggling with HOCD for years, and it started with an intrusive thought about being gay when I was younger. It came up at age 12 and ever since, I’ve been trapped in a cycle of doubt and anxiety. I obsess over whether or not I’m secretly gay, even though I don’t feel that way at all. What makes it worse is the fear that I might have internalized homophobia, and that’s why I’m having these obsessive thoughts. I worry that my anxiety is a sign that I’m repressing something or rejecting part of myself. It feels like my mind keeps repeating the same question—am I gay?—and no matter how much reassurance I get, the fear doesn’t go away. I used to pray for my family members, fearing that if I didn’t, something bad would happen to them, and now it feels like I have to control these thoughts, or something will go wrong. For a while, it was quieter, but a week ago, the thoughts spiraled up again, and now the anxiety feels overwhelming again. It’s exhausting, and I don’t know how to break free from this constant loop of doubt. Has anyone dealt with the fear of internalized homophobia alongside HOCD? How do you manage the anxiety that comes with it?
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