Hello everyone, I really need help or advice (advice that isn't triggering please). My girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year and a half and I struggle alot with ROCD. I get scared that I don't love her anymore or I'm just in denial. Alot of the time it feels like the feelings aren't there and I I even get uncomfortable at times whenever she tries to kiss me or anything. On the other hand whenever I imagine myself getting better and the feelings coming back and having a future together it seems like it's what I want. Sometimes, it's like I have urges to break up and get scared I'm better off like that, now I don't know what to do but I do know that I want to just get better and stay with her. I just want to know if anyone here feels like this or maybe gets these urges and gets uncomfortable with there partner. Again, please no triggering comments. I would really appreciate it.

This is so long ah I’m so sorry. I’m really just trying to get all my thoughts out/ see if anyone feels similarly/ and what they’ve found helps. I’ve never been diagnosed with OCD, but I’ve looked into it a lot and feel that I might have ROCD. (I was once diagnosed with anxiety, but didn’t keep up with therapy because my parents weren’t keen on it.) Now I really want to invest in it to get a formal diagnoses/help, and I’m going to start looking into that. I’m scared that this isn’t ROCD, and I’m truly just in the wrong relationship, or not actually in love with my partner. But then sometimes I’m certain it is? We’ve been together for a year and a couple of months, and it has been wonderful. She makes me feel so loved and so understood. She is my best friend. But this summer when we were on break from school I started getting major doubts once I’d found out about ROCD and some of my thoughts lined up with it’s description. I’d already started to have doubts before the summer. She is the first person I‘ve slept with, and it took a while for me to have an orgasm, and that made me freak out and start to question my attraction towards her/our compatibility. Every time we’d have sex I’d worry over this. (Though I also think it has to do with me not knowing what I wanted/what I liked in bed) Our sex life got better but I still had obsessive thoughts. I have them daily - “what if I don’t love her” or “what if this isn’t the right relationship” or “should I be dating someone else” When I’m with her I’m constantly checking. If we kiss, I’ll analyze how it feels (or how it doesn’t) and the same thing goes for when she compliments me or says she loves me. I’ll say I love her but something in my brain will say “but do you really?” Honestly, I’ve gotten to the point where when I think of her or am with her it makes me so anxious. I literally feel it in my stomach and chest. It’s so hard to deal with. I can’t make it stop. I think part of it is that I’m anxious that I’ll feel anxious/start to have obsessive thoughts, so I get anxious? I just want to be able to think of her and be around her and not feel so scared and anxious and always checking. I feel like my anxiety isn’t letting me truly experience my relationship.

Hey guys I have rocd and I need advise or some words of encouragement When it comes to the feelings of oh I dont love my boyfriend even when I say I do it feels like im lying to myself and it makes me discouraged but I am too numb to fight it Its like my body doesn't want to accept I do Moments when I think oh I want to do something with my boyfriend my brain and feelings shut it down like oh its just going to turn into a routine or nothing he does will make you into him It just makes me depressed and numb because I love my boyfriend a lot, I could not imagine leaving him when I know all I want is him Sometimes my head tells me oh you are too young to have rocd (im 19) or there's always the grass greener on the other Side why settle But I love long term relationships and I want it with him, I chose to date him because it was something about him that was just different and I instantly connected with him We also been together for almost a year (anniversary on August 25) and sometimes my head tells me oh if you guys were together longer its rocd since a lot of people that are on the app I've seen had their relationship for years With anyone dealing with this and go through these episodes in recovery what is it that you do that helps you go forward with your partner and not feeling like giving up

Social media is really kicking my butt. I keep seeing people who say "my SO loves me but I only like them" and the advice is to break up. I've been having trouble being into my feelings for most of my relationship and didn't realize it was ROCD until after it caused huge tension in my relationship (now repaired), but I still struggle to say "I love you" because it's hard for me to feel the strength in emotional connection that comes with love. Every time I get a negative thought about my bf or relationship, it just gets harder bc I feel like I only recognize negatives about him. He means so much to me and I adore him truly, but I don't understand why I'm struggling to feel it. Even when intimate, I just don't get it. It's like I'm kissing him, but my mind is elsewhere and I feel incredibly guilty. When we are talking, it feels like I'm bored and trying to focus even though it should come easy for someone you care to listen to and it makes me feel like I genuinely don't care for him which is false. I feel like dissociate sometimes because I'm there but just not present not really. I hear but don't listen. I'm forgetful. I am confused. Does anyone else have or has had this experience? What do you do? How do you fix it? Because at this rate, I'm just feeling like I'm making excuses for lack of feelings.