- Date posted
- 3y
- Date posted
- 3y
I’ve definitely been in your place. I’ve struggled with ROCD for years and have been with my partner for almost 6. I can’t count how many times Ive been in the cycle you’re in. It’s not easy but it’s doable. Don’t seek any answers. That’s what’s keeping you stuck. Just try and live moment by moment and tell yourself, “all I have is now. If now doesn’t feel perfect with my partner, it doesn’t have to. I don’t need perfection to be happy. I can control THIS MOMENT and that’s what I’ll do. Feelings are not facts.” I wish you well!
- Date posted
- 3y
Do you ever like have an urge to be like by yourself or make things go back to what they were? I get scared of that because I don't want to break up but I get very afraid that that's what I want.
- Date posted
- 3y
@Anonymous All. The. Time. My brain craves the idea of being alone and “resting.” I can tell ya, my partner and I broke up for a day and I swear those feelings of “I’ll be better off by myself” completely vanished. They ghosted me. I missed my partner dearly and granted it was only a day and I’m sure we would’ve healed, something in me said this isn’t how it’s supposed to be. I’m a serial introvert that loves to be alone and has always processed things by herself better. Being in a relationship has exposed the hell out of those tendencies and my choice to stay has aggravated those old habits. Unfortunately that makes for more anxiety but I’m still learning how to have my “alone moments” without actually going days or longer without talking to my partner and or breaking up. I’m always afraid of the notion “what if I secretly want this.” And the response to that is “maybe I do. Maybe I don’t.” Any ocd specialist will tell you that, that is the key to neutralizing the thoughts and fears and uncontrollable what if’s.
- Date posted
- 3y
I can relate to you, I'm also an introverted person, I remember little things about her like what her favorite food is, how she like certain foods, different things. I like to cuddle with her all the time and enjoy moments like watching things with her and showing her things. Idk if that counts as evidence or pointing towards me loving her but I hope it does. Does that mean anything? Sorry this is my last question I just ask a lot when I'm worried about things
- Date posted
- 3y
Please don’t apologize. You are here with a purpose to heal like the rest of us. None of us has the answer, but I truly hope you can trust yourself enough to keep trying with your partner. Your introverted side is telling you to run because it thinks you aren’t safe with your partner. But guess what? You’re TRYING something totally new for you. Stepping out of your comfort zone and being in a relationship that triggers your wounds and attachment style. It’s ok to be an introvert and be in a relationship. It’s natural and it’s healthy to want to have alone time. You got this. I will say it again. YOU. GOT. THIS.
- Date posted
- 3y
I see, and thank you so much for the advice, it actually kinda helped me, I don't feel as stressed and scared so thank you. I hope everything goes well for you to.
- Date posted
- 3y
Of course :) thank you so much!
- Date posted
- 3y
Oh my goodness I’ve been trying to find someone with the same problem for forever!!!!!!! I randomly get “uncomfortable” with my boyfriend sometimes even tho I shouldn’t be. Moral ocd is my biggest issue and I feel like I’m doing something immoral and whenever I get that thought I have to tell my bf or I feel anxious for days. It’s gotten so bad I cry a lot. I also get the random urge to break up even tho life is amazing with my boyfriend and he is the sweetest most amazing person I’ve ever met and really supports me through this. I never wanna break up but I get random urges to. Scary as heck but right now I’m not feeling anxious about it
Related posts
- Date posted
- 16w
I believe I have ROCD — at least, that’s what many people here have told me based on what I’ve shared — and I really need help, because I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t know what I feel anymore. I don’t know what’s real. My thoughts come as loud, cold statements — not questions. They say things like: “Nothing is the same.” “You don’t love him.” “You’re just staying because you’re used to him.” And even though I know I’m supposed to let the thoughts pass and not engage with them — I can’t. I get stuck in them. I try to find answers, I ruminate, I check, I cry, I panic. Everyone says “love isn’t just a feeling” — and I know that. But… I still want to feel something. I want to feel warmth, or connection, or even just peace. It’s been so long since I felt anything like that. Now everything just feels empty or terrifying or cold. My brain only gives me negative interpretations. No memory brings me comfort anymore. Nothing feels like it used to. And the worst part is — it all feels true. Sometimes I think: “What if I’m just denying the truth?” “What if I’ve finally realized that I don’t love him, and I just don’t want to admit it?” This feels like the worst version of myself. I’m so confused and scared and tired. Even therapy didn’t help — my therapist said things that made it worse, and now I don’t know who or what to believe anymore. I just want help. I want to know how to face ROCD — if that’s what this really is. I want to believe I can feel love again. I don’t want to lose myself in this forever. Has anyone else felt like this? How did you start to get better? i cant even remember past good memories with him, my head tells me that i didnt love him and i was just “excited “ to have someone. We have 2 years together and i have been dealing with this for a year and a half.
- Date posted
- 16w
Hi everyone. I’m really struggling and I need to let it all out. I’ve been dealing with ROCD (or what I think is ROCD) for a long time, and I feel like I’m at my breaking point. I’m in a loving relationship with a boyfriend who is kind, understanding, and patient. But ever since I started reading a lot online, googling symptoms, talking to AI like ChatGPT, searching for reassurance, things have gotten worse and worse. And now… I feel completely disconnected from my feelings. I don’t know what’s real anymore. My boyfriend told me that he believes I’ve convinced myself that I have something that needs to be treated, and that all this constant researching is making me feel worse. And honestly, I think he’s right. Before I fell into this cycle, I could be more intimate with him. I used to say “I love you,” I used to feel warmth. Now I don’t say it anymore. I haven’t in a long time. And it hurts him. And I know I’m hurting him, and that makes it even worse. He also said that maybe I’m having these obsessive thoughts because I don’t have a daily purpose, that I need to get occupied, to stop being consumed by this. And others in my life have told me the same. He even suggested taking a break from each other for a week, just to give me space. But I’m terrified of that. I’m scared that the thing I fear most will become “the truth.” I’m scared I’ll feel relief, and that will mean everything I fear is real. But he told me that if I don’t want the break, maybe it means I still care. Still love. Still want this. The problem is, I don’t know anymore. And that’s what’s killing me. I’ve also had a psychologist who told me that just because I feel guilt or “care,” it doesn’t necessarily mean I like him — and that sent me spiraling. She said that maybe I care about people in general, but it doesn’t mean I love him. And it made me feel like I’m just lying to myself. That maybe I’m holding on out of obligation, or because I set in my head that I “have to be with him.” And even when he tells me beautiful things — logical things — things that SHOULD make me feel safe and seen… I don’t feel better. I just feel more empty. And then I start spiraling again: “If this doesn’t help me feel better, then something must be wrong.” “What if I’m just pretending?” “What if I’ve been lying to myself all along?” I feel like there’s something wrong inside of me. Like no matter what anyone says, or how much love I’m given, I can’t feel it. I just want to know what to do. I want someone to tell me what this is. I want to stop feeling like I’m running after a version of myself that used to feel, used to love, used to be calm. I don’t know if this is ROCD or if I’m just slowly facing a truth I’ve been afraid to accept. Please, if anyone has felt this way, I need to hear that I’m not alone. And if you’ve come out the other side… how? My relationship is perfect and he is perfect, i just deal with this and i am far from happy.
- Date posted
- 13w
I just read a post that said “people with ROCD know they love their partners” right when I read it I got this horrible anxiety feeling rush down into my stomach. My partner asked me to be his girlfriend in December and literally since that night It’s like a switch of doubt turned on and I was suffering with consistent doubt about loving my partner, I felt like I didn’t feel anything anymore and I didn’t know what to do and through out the past months it has been an absolute wave of things going on. He is aware of my ocd and in a way I’m glad that this happened because I have had harm ocd for the past 4-5 years and had no idea what it was until 2 months ago when I got an OCD therapist, I just thought I was crazy so I’m happy to know I’m not. Buuuuttt back to the ROCD, my main thoughts and feelings are about not feeling like i love my partner anymore and if we’re compatible, I hyper fixate on the weight he’s gained in the past few months and all the bad food he eats, I think about if our lives even align, we have very different views on some things but are we too different, what if we really don’t know each other at all and we thought we did because we’ve been best friends for 10 years. This is so frustrating because I’ve gotten to the point where my anxiety is barely there, I was have constant outrageous anxiety for 3-4 months and now I’ve gotten to this numb, I literally feel absolutely nothing feeling and it’s not even with just my boyfriend it’s with everything, I just don’t feel happy with anything anymore, I feel like there’s something wrong with me. We got into an argument the other day about how rude I was and I didn’t even feel sad or apologetic when he was talking to me about it, and I couldn’t stop crying, like I just don’t feel anything. I feel like there’s something really wrong with me. All I can describe it as is “blank” does that make sense? I feel like a bad person and I feel like we’re going to break up and I can tell how sad he is. All I do know is that I don’t want to break up. But anytime I think about him or anything along the lines of my ROCD everything like freaks me out. I like scream “NO” and “STOP” in my head all the time. But it’s starting to really feel real. I’m so scared, and now I read that post that said that “people with ROCD know they love their partner” but WHAT IF I DONT KNOW!!! I WANT TO LOVE MY PARTNER. I want to feel the love I had for him before this all started. We were so happy, and we didn’t even get the honey moon phase because my ROCD started right when we made it official. This is seriously so crippling.
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