sofie_
- Date posted
- 3y
mariajmariaj
- Date posted
- 3y
Your comment of "he deserves someone who truly loves him" really struck me, that same thought spins around in my head a lot and I hadn't been able to properly put into words what it was so thank you! If possible, talk to a therapist and see if they diagnose you with ocd. While getting a diagnosis didn't take away the thoughts and the pain, it at least then gave me a plan of action. The biggest thing then that helps me is to respond to my thoughts with uncertainty "maybe I do want to break up maybe it dont". This is hard and feels unsafe in the moment but it stops the compulsion/rumination cycle which is what leads to the really anxious feelings. Above all, take time for yourself to rest and relax. Anxiety takes up a lot of energy, and if you don't take care of your basic needs, everything will feel way worse. Also this week's episode of the OCD stories podcast is all about rOCD, so could be hopeful to listen to that 😊 Good luck!
Klynn2700Klynn2700
- Date posted
- 3y
this is so helpful, I love saying “maybe __ maybe ___” and then you place your thoughts sort of on the side once they’re recognized.
Erswe1981Erswe1981
- Date posted
- 3y
I have been going through the exact same thing over the past few months. It feels like I am incapable of enjoying anything in my life. We have been together for over years and I am looking back over all of that time convinced that I have never been with him for the right reasons. I am convinced that he stays with me because he doesn’t know how to break it off. There have been countless occasions where I have been beyond selfish and unreasonable. I feel like I am in a constant state of inner turmoil. Whenever he gets angry or even slightly annoyed with me, I fall apart. It is so upsetting and draining. Hopefully, knowing that you are not alone in this gives you at least some confort. I feel kind of isolated right now. I don’t have a lot of friends. Just hang in there. That is what I am trying to do.
sofie_sofie_
- Date posted
- 3y
thank you so much it really does bring some comfort. we’ve been friends for years and we’ve had situations where we’ve gotten close to being in a relationship but I’d always be the one to back out but now that we’re actually in a relationship, my brain is trying to convince me that I should back out again because I truly don’t have feelings for him, even though I do and I know the only reason i think about backing out is because I want to stop feeling like this. I hope we both make progress in this tough time
Klynn2700Klynn2700
- Date posted
- 3y
I’m gunna be honest.. I thought this was my post because everything you said at the start I resonated with haha.. but remember, you are NOT you’re thoughts. This is going to be more generic .. I’ve been with my bf for 2 years, and slight TW for anyone, but I’m obsessed with this idea that I have to know/feel love 24/7…. In relationships, you feel many things. but I totally understand what you mean, these thoughts take away all your enjoyment.
arp1014arp1014
- Date posted
- 3y
I relate to this so much. I have unrealistic expectations of love and it has distorted my way of thinking. My OCD has caused me to think that I’m not in the right relationship bc it’s not perfect all the time. Total bs and i try to remember that but sometimes it can be really hard.
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Uypvqcm5
- Date posted
- 22w
ROCD
For the past 3 months ish I’ve been struggling on and off with this anxiety and fixation over my relationship. To wondering if i still have feelings for an old friend, wondering if i actually love him, wondering if the thoughts are all real and im just trying to cover it up with ocd. It sucks, when im talking to my boyfriend i feel fine. The words i love you and talks about the future come naturally. I can’t imagine myself with anyone but him. But this constant rumination on my relationship is KILLING me and I’m scared it’s going to ruin what i have. It makes me numb and disconnected which therefore makes me believe the thoughts even more. They just feel so real sometimes and it’s so scary like why can i not just enjoy it. We’ve been together for a while so i know there’s periods of like feelings ebb and flowing but this is so much more. It’s just constantly sitting on my chest with anxiety. My compulsions are coming on this app, looking at photos of us and confessing it to him. He’s very understanding and helpful. I love him so much. I just need help / I’m also just starting new meds as well ..
Matlock
- Date posted
- 21w
My ROCD is driving me away from my boyfriend
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
bmaria
- Date posted
- 16w
Rocd?
My psychologist tells me because my thoughts are based off of facts/ broken boundaries which is why I am having thoughts of am i in love , am I settling , and feeling guilty I should let him go to find someone who wouldn’t doubt him that I do not have rocd. She states rocd is intrusive , irrational thoughts not based off of real facts and I may have ptsd not ocd. He kissed someone else before we were official and he finds a certain type of female attractive that I find disgusting . So I spin about these issues all day long to the point I’m so unhappy with him and had to break up . It’s been over a month now but I’m still severely anxious and depressed The thing is I can’t stop thinking about this 24/7 with severe anxiety and depression and nothing is helping me . Can someone please tell me their thoughts
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