- Username
- raj123
- Date posted
- 2y ago
im also 16 struggling with the same thing :[[ but! i have 2 friends that have been dating since middle school!! and are both juniors in highschool now and have an amazing trusting relationship. it might be hard to believe but highschool romances CAN work out :]] its hard not to doubt yourself and your relationship with your partner after the honeymoon phase, but its normal to feel a bit different after that ends. have hope!! :D i hope that could help a little
Thank you so much, it helped me alot ! It gave me confidence in my relationship. I know that the confidence wont last for more than an hour but thank you alot :)
@raj123 ofc!! whenever you start to notice youre getting anxious or you start obsessing, just try to remember that not everyones relationship is the same!! it might not work for others but that doesnt mean it wont work for you :]]
@icedmilkk But I dont have rocd😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
@raj123 you might not, but sometimes you might obsess over a theme you dont necessarily have :0!!
@icedmilkk I have had hocd in the past, but now it's fine ig. I mostly dont have rocd too. Idc if I have rocd or not but I wanna be with my gf forever 😭
@raj123 i totally understand that feeling!! i love my partner so much and i wanna be with them forever too, but i get so worried about 'puppy love'!! its a sucky feeling :[ but itll get better with time. youve already gotten to 4 months!! and past the honeymoon stage :D
@icedmilkk Yessss that thingg!!! I finally found someone with similar thoughts. So how long have you been w your gf??
@raj123 i have a bf but we just hit one month :]
Yes. It can last. I’ve been with my boyfriend since we were 16 and 17. My ROCD started 3 months into the relationship. We are now 27 and 28! ROCD still flairs up sometimes, but anything is possible if you want it enough.
I’ve been with my fiancé since we were 16, and we have been together for 11 years now.
In my opinion it depends on the two people and what they desire in the future. I’m in high school myself and I’ve been in a relationship from 12-15 which was 3 years however stuff happened and that’s the past. However I do know people who dated in middle school who are still together senior year of high school and I know people who are older and have been together since high school. There is never a possibility that it won’t happen
This past week has been very challenging; I have been seeing this guy now for a couple of months, and every now and then I will experience a loss of interest in him. Sometimes this is brought upon by the OCD itself, which makes me not want to be around him because he is the trigger. Other times, it’s hard to tell if I’m genuinely not interested, and this drives me absolutely crazy. I feel like I am leading him on and forcing myself to like him just because I want to be in a relationship. To make things clear, he is the sweetest guy and hasn’t done anything wrong; he knows that I struggle with R-OCD and has been very understanding, but isn’t aware of my periods of disinterest and doesn’t know just how distressed I get. This morning, he texted me and said he can’t wait to see me. While reading his text, I never got excited or felt butterflies, I just felt sick to my stomach because all I can think about is how I’m gonna have to tell him I’m not into him right now. I feel like at this point with the back and forth feelings, I just need to end things. The more I think about it, the more I start to believe and feel that’s the right answer. I get sad because I am starting to catch feelings and don’t want to put a stop to a potentially good relationship. I’m really trying to understand why my feelings for him are constantly up and down.
I really feel like SOOCD is such a tricky theme. They tell you to sit with it and not overthink it and accept the possibilty, but we're talking about our future and someone else's future! I also feel like societal pressure doesnt help this theme at all. And its always gonna come up, because as a women, when I hang out with my friends, all they talk about is 1) their relationshios 2) their crush so my brain automatically compares or stresses when it does not relate. I try looking for comphet video on tiktok (i vividely dont recommend doing that) and some videos kind of made sens so I was like, am I a lesbian? So for instance, there is one girl who came ut at 26 and she was like "all my life I felt like I needed to date guys and chose my crushes and when I was making out with my bf it always felt like something was missing and then when I went out with the girl I realised that it wasnt supposed to feel hard and whats natural to your body will come to you naturally". She said that even tho she's a lesbian now she still imagines a life where she has a husband and kids but she knows that she cant have that because she likes imagining that she's straight when indeed she's not. (that was a very big spike for me). and she knew that if she went down that road she would never date men again ( and I feel like I relate to that?!). So to calm myself I said, idc if im gay or bi, at least my bf will be my "one" exception. And right after there was a video of a girl who said " if you're a girl going out with your bf and thinking you're 99 percent into women but that your bf is the exception leave him, you're a lesbian" ughhhhhhhh. My biggest worry right now after being in a 6 year relationship is that I feel if I imagine it that I would feel way more for a women then for a man? but my therapist told me it was normal because with two women its always more intense but im like but what does it mean? that I dont know true love? That I dont love my current partner or at least not enough? I also feel like sometimes, if I ever break up with my bf I'll never date guys after? like even if they were perfect? I know that for anyone reading that shows that Im in denial... I've talked to my therapist about it and she always is like "live in the moment". Ugh
Hi everyone, I’ve been struggling with a lot of doubts and anxiety in my relationship, and I’m not sure if it’s normal or if it might be something more like relationship anxiety or ROCD. I’m in a long-distance relationship with someone who is incredibly sweet, caring, and kind. And not to mention this is my first relationship ever. Despite knowing all of this, I often find myself overwhelmed by doubts. I constantly question whether I really love him or if I only like the idea of him. Sometimes, I worry that I’m just staying in the relationship because I don’t want to be single or because he’s the kind of person I’m supposed to be with. These thoughts feel so real, and it’s hard to shake them off, even though I don’t want them. I also tend to find “icks” or small things to criticize, and it feels like my brain is trying to push him away, even though I want to be with him. I feel guilty for having these thoughts, and it makes me overthink whether I’m being honest with myself about wanting the relationship. At times, I rely on external validation, like when people tell us we look cute together. I’m scared I might be too focused on what others think, instead of how I truly feel. I also feel guilty about small things, like not responding in the way I think I should, and I worry whether I’m capable of loving someone else. Sometimes, I feel overwhelmed by how “perfect” he is, and it makes me try to find ways to dislike him, even though I know he’s a good person. I also feel nervous about things like meeting his parents or not fully enjoying his sense of humor, which adds to my overthinking. I want to be with him, but I’m stuck in this cycle of doubt and overanalyzing my feelings. I just want these thoughts and anxieties to go away. Has anyone experienced anything like this? Could this be a sign of relationship anxiety or something more? Any advice or insights would be really appreciated.
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