- Date posted
- 3y ago
- Date posted
- 3y ago
i relate to this so much. i still struggle with trying to feel love or try to not think of him as a stranger because i get so numb. it’s normal i promise it gets better! i haven’t told my partner either because it’s hard and i haven’t been ready. i use to cry all night while he was sleeping and i would just constantly feel scared or guilty.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
for me ignoring it makes it worse for a bit but it does get better. ocd gets desperate when u ignore it and just fires intrusive or unwanted thoughts to try and get u back in the cycle. from reading this u clearly love him your ocd is just trying to take control right now! luckily there’s a lot of people here who have had to go though the same thing and we all aren’t alone.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Oh hunny you don’t have to end the relationship you should try to fill him in on what’s going on. I’m sure he can feel the change . Is he an understanding partner?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
He wants to know what’s wrong asking if I’m okay all the time but I try to avoid telling him and just try to deal with on my own.. it’s becoming too much now… I’ve never felt this way for him in the whole 11 1/2 years of being together…. I try to sit with the feeling and ignore it but that made it worse….. right I believe I don’t love him but it hurts so much bc I don’t want this to be true…😢😢😢😭😭
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’m just so tired… mentally and physically
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I see . You have been with your partner a long time . You know you love him and you don’t want the relationship to end . These thoughts truly are just thoughts and reacting to them make them feel real. The trick is not reacting to these thoughts or trying to push them away . They are just thoughts. Sitting with your thoughts and feelings does work but only if you are not trying to fight it. It takes time and practice but you will be ok. Try to seek out additional support don’t deal with this alone . You don’t have to suffer .
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
The fact that you feel so awful and want to love him the way you did before and don’t want to leave means that you do love him the same as you did but this disorder makes you paranoid and question everything about even your very exsistence. It is just ocd. I’ve went through severe Rocd before and was terrified I know it seems simpler to deal with it alone but you should tell him and it’s scary But if they know who you are and take into account all your time and everything you’ve been through they will understand. It’s not you it’s you brain. Ocd attacks the things we care about the most and unfortunately uncertainty is part of it. You have to disregard and tell yourself even if it’s a 100 times a day no im fine I love him and that’s all I need to go on because it is just this disorder trying to take away the most important things to you. It feels real it feels uncomfortable it feels like everything is falling apart and that’s all a symptom. You are not alone and I hope you hang in there!
- Date posted
- 3y ago
sorry one more thing is there will be moments where ur in full anxiety mode then there’s moments where u feel normal or numb but u get upset with ur partner or still don’t feel love. it’s completely normal and apart of the healing process. ur ocd will try to convince u of anything to take away what u love and it wears many different disguises. sorry for another comment i just related to this a lot and wanted to help as much as i can because i know this pain of feeling mentally and physically exausted
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Exactly!! It’s not about suppressing the thoughts either it’s about kind of calling it’s bluff like okay that thought or feeling is there I accept it because it’s a part of my disorder but it means nothing about me or my actual feelings or morals it’s just a symptom. And going from there the more you ignore or disregard the smaller the big anxiety thoughts and feelings get it will feel very uncomfortable at first and some days are harder than other but ultimately those thoughts and feelings will get smaller and smaller. Ocd wants the power and certainty it’s a bully don’t give it to it you can say I’ll live with the uncertainty and stay with him I love him because I say I love him and go from there and eventually it will dissipate even though it never feels like it will. It will.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
You gotta open up and talk to him . Are you seeking therapy??
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Never got therapy…😞 I don’t wNna end my relationship
- Date posted
- 3y ago
@7710 ❤️ The fact that you don’t WANT to end your relationship should tell you something.
- Date posted
- 3y ago
I’m so numbed out I can’t feel anything
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Like right now I don’t feel anymore symptoms and I feel too normal… 😞
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Are you together all the time? Do you have hobbies, or a job?
- Date posted
- 3y ago
Why when I say I want to it feels different?.. I know I can’t blame everything on ROCD…. But I had 3 clarity moments within this month… why couldn’t it stay… it just feels like my relationship is gonna end anytime now…. Like I feel neutral about the way I am feeling… it’s sad… I know I am gonna cry my eyes out if I did just break up with him… I know I do have other mental issues to deal with… ROCD isn’t the only thing I need to deal with… I have separation anxiety diagnosed by a therapist… I obsess about never doing or being enough.. I obsess over the tiniest sounds my car makes believing that my car will break down soon… I can’t handle stress normally… My partner has always been with me throughout the most stressful times in my life.. I don’t wanna see him leave bc my life wouldn’t be the same if he left… also being just friends wouldn’t be enough for me.. I just want to love him and know it with constantly questioning it over and over again…
Related posts
- User type
- OCD Conqueror
- Date posted
- 16w ago
I’ve had so many moments of clarity with my OCD that I love my boyfriend and I’m beyond willing to go through this to be better and be with him. in the back of mind I’ve in a way known I was at least somewhat sexually attracted to women (I’m a woman) since the start of the ocd it was always like “okay. Fine, but I don’t want to date a girl” I only just realized this after the ocd started, I never really argued with this. my ocd has always revolved around if I’m romantically interested in women and not men. I’ve done so many compulsions through this year and a half and 9 times out of 10 have come to the conclusion that I don’t want to be with a woman romantically. I always end up feeling like I know I love my boyfriend. But the doubts don’t stop about whether I want to spend my life with a woman instead, my heart literally breaks to think of not being with my bf and imagining him with someone else. I don’t want to be with a woman I know deep down somewhere underneath the anxiety that that’s not what I want. It doesn’t feel natural for me, unfulfilling. I want to tell my boyfriend about the possible sexual attraction to women (ik it’s still ocd related) but I’m scared that once I tell him, I’ll realize that I actually do want to be with women and not with him. Ugh I’ve spent hours today ruminating about this after being solid in my commitment with him for a little while, I’m stuck in this loop and idk how to get out right now
- Date posted
- 12w ago
I'm 18, and been in a relationship with my man for nearly 2 years. I started living with him around 2 months ago, and all I do is think about if he's cheating. We were long distance for a year and a half of our relationship, maybe seeing eachother once every month or two. I decided to move in with him, and ever since all I can think about is if he's cheating or watching porn. When he's in another room I think he's doing something wrong, I have to check on him every ten minutes to ease my anxiety. I didn't have this problem before moving in. Granted he has talked to some girls on his phone, even having his ex on his phone (didn't do anything bad) and he is porn addicted though he is getting better for me. It's gotten so bad I want to leave him. A couple days ago I broke up with him and it absolutely broke my heart, I couldn't bare it so I gave him a month to show me he can do better, and for me to work on myself. If I'm still unhappy with us I'm going to leave. I love this boy more than anything. I'm scared to be without him, this is my first real relationship. At this point I refuse to even sleep until he is sleeping. I don't want to start over, I don't want to leave him, but I really can't take this pain it's causing me. It's all I think about. I've convinced myself so many times that he's cheating, but I know he wouldn't. I question whether it's anxiety or intuition. Maybe I just know deep down he really is cheating and I just don't want to believe it. I don't know. I don't think he would do that, but at the same time he's really into women. I hate that he looks at other girls in a sexual way, it bothers me so much, and we talk about it often, but with it being an addiction it's difficult. He has gotten a lot better since we have talked about it. He understands I have an issue and is usually happy to talk about it over and over and promise me over and over that he's not cheating. He allows me to have his phone whenever I want and everything, I have no reason to think he's cheating, but I can't get over it. It's not fair to him either. How do I deal with this? How do I stop hurting so much?
- Date posted
- 11w ago
Hello, I unknowingly have lived with ROCD or OCD (not sure what one. I’m new to this). It has ruined so many amazing romantic and platonic relationships and I am so sad that just now I am finding out what the hell is wrong with me. Maybe life would be different if I have known. My OCD and anxiety is at an all time high (ATH) due to some horrible events that have happened in the recent months. I am at the point where paranoia has taken over my life now. I had my first panic attack a few weeks ago where I fainted. My anxiety attacks are so extreme I go thought cognitive distortion that has lasted days. My girlfriend of 3 years is my emotional guardian and she no long has the energy to be that and honestly it’s not her responsibility to be that. She is bi and wanted to have an open relationship and for someone who has OCD this has not been good for me. She also was assaulted in my own home by a good friend of ours when I was out of town but it’s not a clear situation because it sounded consensual at first. I just left my very high paying job. I am financially secure but the job was emotionally abusive and looking back made my OCD worse. I am taking some time off to get my head right…but now, all I have to do during the day is live in my OCD. I’m very happy I finally figured out why I act the way I do but I don’t know if I can get better quick enough to save my relationship. I have never been so worried about myself (M 28 years old). I am a confident young professional and never thought I would be writing on a page like this. Anyway…I hope it gets better.
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