- Date posted
- 6y ago
- Date posted
- 6y ago
like literally that feeling of "i'd rather k*ll myself than ever harm a child" and that still doesnt make you convinced, the fact that you get nauseous and you seriously start to want to die, and it still not convincing to you and the fact that there are so many ignorant bastards on the internet talking about "pocd is just pedos feeling guilty" literally makes me wanna blow something up it makes me livid to my core.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I used to be super cool with kids and not give a shit about being around them at all like i would always just try to entertain them or be like the cool teenage figure. until one day my grandma made me take a cousin of mine out on a walk. I did. literally everything was fine until a skinhead started threatening me because i was "turning him into a f*g" (i wore all black clothes at the time and had black dyed slicked back hair i mean it was obvious that i wasnt straight). Thankfully he didnt do anything besides threaten and interrogate me but that incident left me so fucking scarred out of my mind that i started questioning if i really was weird around kids. Cut to this culminating in my self diagnosed pure ocd 3 weeks ago and now i literally feel like fucking dying. This is horrifying, but youre not alone. I wish i could go back to the times where i felt normal.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
you need an ocd specialist and you need to watch out for false positives. literally trying to do exposure response prevention on your own could literally end with you landing on a false positive and thinking about ending it all.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
yeah its awful i just told my cousin to go to the living room cuz it was triggering my ocd. its fucked up and i really hope it gets better for us.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
for me its fucked up because its like i love my cousin so much and she and i are very close and i dont want her seeing me like this or feeling like she'd done something to me to make me constantly drive her away and its SO HARD because literally her presence is making me uncomfortable. Back then i literally wouldnt give two shits if she was in the same room as me i'd just be cool with it. also its so fucked up how i force myself to still hug her or pet her on the head and it doesnt make me feel anything i shouldnt be feeling yet my ocd goes "ew you weirdo stop doing that" like its literally driving me insane and i cannot WAIT to get the help i need.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Lol honestly you sound like a lovely person. Those kids that said nasty stuff to you probably didn't actually think it, they just said it to put you down. Bullies do that. You probably don't look like anything
- Date posted
- 6y ago
it wasnt a kid it was a homophobic grown man with a shaved head. and at this point i think settling with the fact that i would never harm anyone ever might be the most effective way to treat my ocd. its really sad because when this was first happening to me i needed 100 percent reassurance or else i would threaten to end my life but now i just have to take a deep breathe and move on.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
russian/russophile bigotry is rooted in the belief that anything lgbt is somehow connected to pedophillia. My first acknowledgement of gay people was my grandma telling me gay men were perverted cross dresser gender-freaks who would abduct kids and do horrible things to them. I was horrified. then i saw how lgbt people really are and that fear went away. Then as i was still in the closet i asked my mom what she thought about homosexuality (my moms russian btw) and she went on this whole rant about how she could never accept pedophiles and that in her countries culture its unacceptable. that made me very angry obviously. cut to that skinhead threatening me when i explained to my brother what happened (my brothers a fucking douche btw) he just said "well you were kind of baiting that kid werent you". This made me so fucking pissed. the whole entire problem was that this kid who was my third cousin was an extremely effeminate boy and instead of being a dick and emasculating him and telling him to "man up" i just acknowledged it and told him from my experience as a gay person what to do to avoid getting into dangerous situations (stuff like who to confide to who to be yourself around, etc.). what i DID NOT do was tell him he was secretly gay and/or closeted (thats for him to find out) and what i also didnt do was "bait" him. That is sick to me. People are very judgemental and ignorant and this is why my whole POCD scare happened. I am not a pedophile. I am fucking mad that child abuse has constantly been insinuated when talking about my identity as a queer person. You cannot tell a victim of child abuse and someone who gets ptsd flashes from seeing any child get harmed that they are secretly a sexual deviant. That is possibly one of the most disrespectful things you could ever do. Point blank period.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
i mean for some reason speaking about it on here has made me feel more comfortable. at least theres that
- Date posted
- 6y ago
thats what you need to hold on too the most. That little insight that you arent like this. that this isnt like you.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I am worried too if I seem too nevrous
- Date posted
- 6y ago
It's so awful. I'm so glad I'm not alone but I feel sorry for you too. I use to be fine too! I use to tell them stories, everyone use to say I'm so good with kids. Now I avoid them like the plague. It's life ruining cause if I tell anyone I'm worried people will think I'm a pedo, they'll think I actually am when I'm 100% not I wouldn't dream of harming a child.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
When my little sister was born, I use to get worried I was changing her nappy wrong when I was only 8. I use to ask for reasurance that I was doing it right all the time. I was only a child myself! I knew I wasn't a pedo but was worried I was accidentally changing her wrong. Then I just started worrying that everyone will think I'm a pedo from the age of like 15, and I'm 20 now. It's been hell.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Oh god I didn't even know people are saying that. That is horrible. People would hate to worry about this shit I definitely don't have sexual attraction towards children. These worries that everyone will think I am has seriously made me question if I am cause I worry that other people think I am so much. I'm like why the fuck am I worrying about this so much. I've thought about how I want a child one day but I'd be so worried that everyone would think I'm a pedo so now I don't want to. I also think about how I'd so be a good mum if all the people didn't exist because I'd never worry what people think. And I know the child would know I'm not. But I guess I'm never ganna want a child if this ocd doesn't go away
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I'd be too worried to tell my ocd therapist about this. And I'd never want to stay in a park on my own I'd probably kill myself straight after over thinking what all the mum's in the park would think of me. I've had so many suicidal thoughts over this.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I hope so. Thing is my little sister knows I'm not. She adores me. I think to myself everyone knows I wasn't a pedo to her, so what makes me think they'd think I'm a pedo now.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I am worried about the same many times
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I afraid of being humiliated from this scenario
- Date posted
- 6y ago
If this is going to be unveiled
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Mm. I don't know how I'd still cope if I lived with my little sister. I'd constantly worry that people would think I'm a pedo even tho it's so obvious I'm not cause she adores me.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
I'd get so worried if someone said to me why you acting all nervous around my children. I'd probably go bright red.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Well he was a prick, just because you look gay doesn't make you a weirdo. Gay people don't look like pedos they just look like gay people. People are so stupid
- Date posted
- 6y ago
Sounds to me that your family trigger you. Because of their beliefs that all gay people are pedos or what have you. Poor you. At least noone thinks that where I come from. I don't even know what triggered my thoughts.
- Date posted
- 6y ago
At least your cousin knows you're not a weirdo. And you deep down know you're not too. At least we have ourselves.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Trying not to seek reassurance, but rather connect the dots on my OCD and possible reasons as to why I am the way I am. I have severe OCD (or at least I hope I do) mainly surrounding POCD. I've had symptoms of OCD the majority of my life but this theme has come up more recently. When I was a kid, and i'm talking 6-7, I was first exposed to some really gross adult content online. It was introduced to me by a friend of mine around the same age of me. I saw some really disgusting things that a 6-7 year old should definitely not see. This was not a one time occurrence, as I had been exposed to taboo topics online years to come after that, such as the same friend introducing me to Omegle... And i'm sure you can imagine how that went, theres a lot of genuinely disgusting human beings on there. Coming back to the reason for making this post; is it possible to early exposure to this content could be one of the reasons I struggle with POCD? It genuinely scares me to death because you hear that real p*dos dealt with simular situations when they were kids, so thats kind of making me feel that this could be more than OCD, and I could be a genuinely bad person. My POCD feels so real, that at times i'm fully convinced its not OCD. Sometimes I can't even distinguish the feelings of attraction between a younger person and an older person, except for the feeling of anxiety and fear. Its really hard to explain without going into detail, but it just feels so real. Some feedback on this would be great, thank you all.
- Young adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- False Memory OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- LGBTQ+ with OCD
- Date posted
- 13w ago
Sometimes I think " do I like kids?" "Would i get aroused if I saw content with kids?""What if I'm a pedo and cant accept it?" "What if I'm ok with these thoughts?" "What if I'm not distressed enough " "What if I enjoy these thoughts?" , i avoid kids as much as i can, i cant look at them bc I'm scared I'm gonna have some groin like response. I keep testing if I'd get turned on or if I'd have some groinal response to sexual scenarios with kids. Sometimes I think that if I took my life this would be over and i wouldn't have to think about this and i wish i doubted something else instead of things like this. I had similar situations just with different topics such as if i loved or found sexually appealing a guy while in a relationship and i kept asking myself those questions for months and i avoided going to school for weeks and when I went I'd cry and have anxiety attacks. I had it with past actions i obessed over and felt the need to exploit every detail and be honest because otherwise i was being a fraud. I had it for sexual things that happened when i was a child. Im not diagnosed with ocd but should i tell this to my local counselor? Can someone help? Give me advice or tell me anything?
- Date posted
- 5w ago
I look back at all past interactions with others and think “what if they were a minor” even though there is no particular reason to think that they were. Is that a common obsession with Pocd? Has anyone else had this intrusive thought? It’s so scary and exhausting.
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