I’ve been Obsessing over Death ever since my Dead died worrying about dying and what’s next and that I will be gone one day even though by the age of 80 I’ll probably ready to die because I’ve had a full life but I still obsess

:( I completely understand. I’ve been in this boat. Perhaps the trauma is fueling the ocd. This theme stopped for me when I processed the death. And accepted that death was out of my control and I have two options, to live in fear or to move forward despite it. If you live life with the people you love, if something were to happen, you’d have all these memories to look back on. We have to surrender to the unpredictability of life. And find freedom in that. You can get through this obsession and I’m so sorry for your loss.

I’ve tried that but it didn’t work it just comes back , I just remember before this I never was scared

I’m sorry for your loss. I’m sorry, too, that you’re struggling with these thoughts. When a thought comes to mind, do you stop what you’re doing and think about it? Do you run through different scenarios in your mind? We can’t stop thoughts from coming, but we can change how we respond to them. When I find myself lost in my head obsessing, I say to myself what would I want to be doing to create the life I want if this thought wasn’t so all consuming. Then, I go do it, even though I don’t feel like it, even though I’d rather figure my problem out first. When all is said and done this moment is all I really have, so how do I want to spend it.

That's one of my main obsessions too, so you aren't the only one. I hope that knowing you aren't the only one with those obsessions helps a bit.

I’m so sorry for your loss, I am going through the same thing with the loss of my mother. I feel the same way about just wanting to feel normal again. One way that we can look at is that we look at life differently from others, we can appreciate in the ways that really matter. It’s extremely scary trust me I know, I haven’t been able to eat or do anything but sleep for days because of the anxiety and urgency I feel from this. The times that give me peace are when I just allowed myself to accept life for how it is and see the Beauty in my perspective of it. The way we think about it can actually allow us to live a more free and meaningful life if we allow it.

People with ocd pay attention things that others don’t, we don’t have to let this scare us and stop us. We can use it to motivate us.