- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
This will get easier. You will not always feel this way. Please call a hotline if you're feeling suicidal. I promise your mind will clear and you will be back to yourself. Stay strong
- Date posted
- 6y
listen if you try to accept that you're gay to try to disprove whether its ocd or denial you wont get anywhere. trust me im gay and you FULLY KNOW if you are gay or not. u dont sit there and deny it. for me it happened when i had just entered puberty and i discovered bathroom alone time and i tried thinking abt women and that didnt arouse me so i was like "so what does my mind really want" and it immediately switched to guys. please dont try and do this. ocd numbs your libido and you wont get aroused by either women or men (you could get aroused by men just because youve been avoiding intrusive thoughts like the plague and your groin will recognize that as something new and untried and could launch like a slight arousal). what i advise you to do is just like with any other ocd. let it go. you have an inner truth and that inner truth is the truth. there were so many straight guys in my highschool that were perverted as fuck and did gay things as a joke. there are even straight men who experiment with gay men and they still identify as straight afterwards. if youre gay you wouldve found out a long time ago and you wouldve denied it for probably a day or 2 like i did and then just went "ok im obviously bullshitting let me just accept it." if you have any questions towards me ask.
- Date posted
- 6y
It's been 6 years of having these hocd thoughts I don't even know what to think anymore or where to start trying to get live my life freely
- Date posted
- 6y
if you arent secretly finding ways to think the gayest things and try to make excuses about how it isnt gay that you think all these things and youre intensely aroused by them - then youre not gay. period. when i had the arousal of a lifetime thinking about intercourse with another man i came out of the bathroom panicked and i was like "im not gay right.... im just straight with a fetish for boys." then immediately after it i was like "that doesnt make no sense shit im gay" and i fully accepted it because like...i was aroused by guys the way straight men are aroused by women....like THATS gay. not intrusive thoughts and suffering but willingly thinking about homosexual acts and deriving enjoyment from them.
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes that's how I feel exactly ... I don't even know anymore
- Date posted
- 6y
then that means youre not gay. and you arent feeling ur straight attractions because ocd makes you repulsed by those too to confuse you. before i had sexual ocd i fully knew what type of guys i found hot and recently i couldnt even think about them without feeling grossed out. its natural with ocd. if you had the clear answer before that clear answer IS the answer and will always be the answer.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 23w
I keep having this weird feeling none stop that it’s most likely not HOCD and most my feelings. Like I’ve suffered none stop distress and unwanted thoughts the past few days. But those thoughts after a bit just feel weird not the kind of discomfort but are just their and stale. When I look at a guy I don’t feel anything but my thoughts sometimes compliment his looks or personality which makes me doubt my sexuality. I’ve never felt this weirded out. Because I’ve always been straight and still believe I am but I’ve never even had an emotional connection to someone of the opposite gender in fact. My view of the female body has been ruined with none stop pornography addictions. I don’t believe I’m gay but I feel like it may just be denial instead of HOCD but all my symptoms are literally HOCD. I don’t hate the idea of gay people but I can’t imagine or see my heart going off to like someone of the same sex. I haven’t really had any meaningful real life friends besides online but that also ended a few months ago. My only friend ever online that was my friend for the longest of time was a queer but I never really cared about what he liked. Like yes at some point I did try to challenge him with his own feelings but that didn’t last long I just accepted what he liked and moved on. I’ve never even touched let alone held a long conversation with a female. I’ve always been timid and shy around them but I can just say that towards male as well. The gay feelings feel so real. The thoughts feel a bit natural to me but I don’t want this. But I hate how I can’t just move on and be myself and love women when those thoughts demand attention and an answer. It won’t quit it. If I try to do a compulsion it calms down but it quickly becomes a problem again. I’m lonely I don’t have any friends or past relationships I can even think of helping me with the emotions. I still believe I’m straight and I just can’t see myself with a guy. It just doesn’t feel right for me despite my lack of experiences. I just wanna go back to how I was happy and loving girls and not having to question if it was a real feeling or just my natural timid nature. Everytime I think these distressing thoughts I always just wanna sit down and close my eyes and sleep. Because that’s where I can have peace of self. It sucks but I’m so exhausted of having to deal with emotional distress and I can’t even focus on my job as much. I want to meet new people discover my love for women again but I’m scared in the process I may discover I may be gay. Because deep down I know I wouldn’t ever be happy with myself if my greatest fears where confirmed. My dream of always being a father with a loving women and kids would be torn away by something I never asked for. Yes I’m religious, yes I come from a place that homosexuals are usually seen in a bad light. I just hate feeling this emotion that I may not be what I thought and having my dreams torn apart maybe true. I’ve read MUTIPLE articles about HOCD and seen MUTIPLE videos. I’ve come to the realization that I most likely have it. But it’s still hard when the feelings of maybe being gay maybe true you know? I hope I get better I hope I don’t suffer. I just wanna be happy with myself and loving females and I don’t wanna hate myself for feeling an emotion that never occurred to me more then a few times.
- Date posted
- 22w
I’ve completely lost myself. I can’t focus on my studies, I can’t go to the gym. Dang it I can’t even be around my male friends normally anymore. I got no idea why or how this happened but the only thing I know for sure is that I never questioned my sexuality neither doubted it. I never cared in general. I just liked girls. I keep testing and keep testing and keep testing my arousal but no matter how many times I see but I don’t feel the same way for guys that I do with girls my mind will always try to make me believe that I am gay. It’s like it’s forcing me into an identity I never asked for. But at the end of the day like my psychologist told me. Sexuality doesn’t change. So since I never felt anything for guys in my life it’s ocd. I’ve been up and down for 5 months now and while the last week I was feeling way better. Monday now and I’m back to zero. I just want to go back when everything was normal. I can’t keep living with this.
- Date posted
- 15w
I don’t know what to do with this bs anymore. I’m crying again and again and again and again. I cannot describe how painful this is. I’ve recovered from every single OCD subtype expect this one. HOCD is so scary and it’s so incredibly scary how it feels so real. The issue with this subtype is how intertwined it is with feelings and sensations. I hate how it keeps latching onto the past and uses the past as proof. I don’t want it to be the truth. I don’t want to accept any possibility.
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