I really love my partner he is so understanding and patient when it comes to my intrusive thoughts about him cheating on me but it's so hard to fight these insecurities, I have forgotten to live my own life because my life is based on his and I completely forgot myself. I think I am ready to ask my psychiatrist for some medical help because I need to love myself. Now I just hate it so much

Advice please! I have OCD, and it’s wormed it’s way to my relationship. It particularly revolves around social media, trust and the security of being together “forever”. I whole heartedly trust my partner. However, we all know that OCD causes doubt in the most rational things. Lately, if I get an irrational thought, I ask my partner if it’s true or not true, I get the affirmation I need, and then I feel intense guilt. The cycle begins again because I feel insecure for asking such questions, How do I work through these nagging thoughts and not bring my boyfriend into it? I get super impulsive and just ask him to reassure me. When I don’t ask him and challenge the thought, I’m really moody with him. I’ve had OCD my entire life and have “cured” other obsessions/rituals but for some reason, this one is tough, since another person is involved. Any advice?!

Over a year together with him, and I’ve just recently learned that I have relationship OCD and perfectionist OCD. We talked about it, but I can sense it breaking his heart when I tell him that I cycle between wanting to marry him to breaking up over and over everyday. Constantly evaluating every word or action of his, what shirt he wears that day, how he brushed his hair, what he ate for lunch, who he talked to, what he spent money on, etc any of these things can trigger me into an episode of intrusive thoughts about him not being the one, he’s wrong for me, I’m trapped, I need to get out. It can also swing the other way to me feeling an impulse to go to the courthouse and get married right there. I know that I love him, I always desire to spend time with him; and I picture my future with him in it. He’s such a wonderful person. I don’t know how to stop this emotional rollercoaster my mind straps me into everyday. I just want to be in love and feel secure. How will I ever get married with all of these doubts attacking me everyday?? I can’t stop myself from constantly lecturing him on his flaws and what he needs to change for me to love him more consistently. I feel like a cold and evil person. Will I ever have clarity? Is he really as flawed as I think he is or am I sabotaging the best thing in my life?

It feels so terrible to doubt whether he’s “good enough” and stuff like that. I hate fighting with my thoughts. I love him and want to stick with him and I am getting immeasurable guilt to the point I’ve harmed myself :(