- Date posted
- 6y
- Date posted
- 6y
I have been struggling with this SO much lately. I have been around some teenagers though lately and I have been testing myself like crazy. I notice that some of them are attractive for their age and I freak out if they are on the lower end of being teens. It’s human nature to notice and acknowledge attractive traits! There’s a difference in that and being outright into and pursuing teens
- Date posted
- 6y
hi! the first signs of ocd i had were pocd last year and it was absolutely terrifying, my first thought when that happened was that i'd rather die than even think about something like that. Luckily I found out it was ocd, a year and a few months later (now) i can garantee you that it will go away, you just have to stop fighting the thought or trying to reassure yourself that you're not what your thoughts say you are because that only makes the thoughts get worse, what i did was getting ahead of the thoughts my brain kept throwing at me like "sure brain i'm definitely attracted to a kid and what about it?" because deep down i knew it wasn't real and i knew it was my brain making sure i knew that thing was wrong. It's the hardest thing i've ever had to do and i'm not saying that it goes away completely but it's possible, you just have to train your brain and remind yourself that thoughts are just thoughts and they dont mean anything
- Date posted
- 6y
Self testing is a compulsion and never reliable
- Date posted
- 6y
@figuringitallout just saw your other post, and that's exactly how i feel
- Date posted
- 6y
it really sucks! i think deep down it's an self-esteem issue sadly, we have to love ourselves a little more
- Date posted
- 6y
Me allllll day. Had some really awful dreams last night which made it worse. Once my day thoughts got better it attacked my dreams! It’s the worst. How’re you feeling now?
- Date posted
- 6y
OCD makes you feel like youre in denial when you arent
- Date posted
- 6y
I really sometimes think I am just in denial and this is me. I’m kinda terrified to be honest. But then I’ll “test” to another thought and it disgusts me so I’m like idk what to think! And I only ever get really aroused by men and I have only ever masturbated to men so I’m also like “if this were real at SOME point this would have happened involving kids” not to sound dark lol
- Date posted
- 6y
like i'm worried i just feel guilt and not anxiety..... i hate this i hate myself i don't want to be alive if i'm a pedophile i don't want to hurt people i dont want to be someone who's attracted to minors i don't like this and i'm scared it's not ocd and it's real
- Date posted
- 6y
all of this stems from thinking like 16-17 year old boys are cute. like that's it. i'm like oh he's cute and then i freak out that i thought that because i'm 20. i'm always scared that i'll be attracted to young boys like 13-15 and then when i see one in real life i'm like no thanks. so if i think a teenage boy is cute i immediately feel like a terrible awful sick person
- Date posted
- 6y
T I totally understand. Is this coming from your dream last night?
- Date posted
- 6y
Oh just saw your second post
- Date posted
- 6y
@figuringitallout partly, and partly because i thought a 17 year old in a movie was cute. it wasn't even in a sexual way, but i freak out that when i think someone is cute i mean it in the same way as someone i really was attracted to, you know? it's like i can't figure out where the line is in my head. i know that just because you think someone is cute doesn't mean you're sexually attracted to them, but i still get scared because i'll call someone older than me cute as well so i'm like is this the same thing??? and then feel disgusting
- Date posted
- 6y
Yes!!!! I totally understand that. I saw a play at my old high school and I noticed some of the boys were cute and I had that “cutesy” feeling inside idk how to describe it lol but then I was like wait, do I wanna be with them? Hook up with them? Date them? And I spiraled. I honestly don’t lol but it’s that one second feeling of doubt that kills me
- Date posted
- 6y
Also a kid from work was in one or two of my dreams recently and that’s been scaring me cause I’m terrified I “secretly want him” although I haven’t thought of him since I’ve been on break lol. But then he pops in and I’m terrified.
- Date posted
- 6y
Thank you for sharing that! Isn’t that the funniest thing, when you realize deep down it’s not real so then why are we still going through this!? I hate when that happens
- Date posted
- 6y
@figuringitallout that's exactly what i go through too @anathema thank you for sharing, i've had these terrifying thoughts since september and i'm scared that "deep down" i know it's "real" and i just always feel like i truly am someone who's bad...
- Date posted
- 6y
i forgot to thank you guys for commenting, it really helps to have people to talk to ?
- Date posted
- 1y
Im also dealing with that it’s so hard
Related posts
- Date posted
- 25w
Like I'm not even scared I feel numb and ever since that night I've completely went down hill Idk what to do the feeling i felt this time genuily felt like i liked it and i didnt even have anxiety at that moment and now I'm panicking I really hope this is still OCD like I'm sorry if I'm still asking for reassurance but im really worried like it felt good in that moment I don't understand what's going on like I hope it was a false feeling and not something real.....like this has happened before but Idk 😭😭😭😭 I really don't know what to I don't want to turn into a p word I don't this I've been sleeping all day I still do compulsions a little to get rid of the thoughts but I've been getting sexual thoughts too and I don't want them but I feel like I do I don't understand I though I was getting better but I guess every time I get better everything gets worse..
- Date posted
- 14w
I want to rip out my uterus. Only my hormones can make my OCD and ability to manage it go back to square one. I am spiraling *so* hard. I cannot breathe. My PMDD is going crazy. I’m having a panic attack again. I feel so scared. The POCD is going absolutely insane right now. It feels undeniably real, and my mind keeps drifting to those awful thoughts and what feels like exploring them?? but I can’t for the life of me stop some of these compulsions right now. I was trying to watch something to get my mind off of this but ended up getting triggered twice, so my anxiety is a 10 and I can’t seem to calm down. This panic attack is tuned all the way up.
- Young adults with OCD
- Religion & Spirituality OCD
- "Pure" OCD
- POCD
- Older adults with OCD
- Students with OCD
- Harm OCD
- Mid-life adults with OCD
- Date posted
- 6w
I am having horrible regression in my recovery. Tonight i'm feeling really alone and sick from anxiety, i'm feeling scared to be alone with my thoughts. I had a family dinner with my sister, brother and mom today and I couldn't help but feel super dissociated. They are all laughing and talking while i'm just existing. I have a loud voice telling me I messed up, i'm dirty, i'm causing them harm. Being around people brings out the worst in my mind because i really want to be normal. My sister and brother did karaoke and sang Disney songs together and they sounded so beautiful and it made me sad because i truly don't feel like i will be able to ever live up to them. They are truly so smart and have their lives laid out for them. My mom takes my disorder personally and often says things like "you're disgusted of me" "you can't even touch me". I know she views me as the weakest one out of us 3, she favors them it's so apparent. My mom has bpd and being around her sinks me so deep. I feel so freaking alone guys and my ocd is actually spiraling me into a bad depression and my thoughts are becoming more serious. I do not feel comfortable in my mind or my body, i rely on distraction constantly running from myself.
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