I’m having a major crisis in life rn. It feels like I’m just very detached from everything . I don’t know when last time it’s been since I’ve felt like this . Probably years back when my ocd first started to develope and I wasn’t full aware of what was going on. Anyways, lately I have been feeling like this as a result of another one of my episodes . It’s been feeling long term . It’s been about 2 days almost still with the same obsessive thought and me just ruminating. But for most part, I think I was just handling it by not giving much into it and rather just accept the uncertainty as I’m supposed to. But more waves keep coming in and I feel prone to just having more related thoughts and feeling like I’m vulnerable at this point and weak. Let alone I already feel like crap because everyday it’s the same exact thing . I’m back at my old job but due to my ocd , it’s been making me feel quite depressed and I truly just miss my most recent one I was at . I feel isolated . I’m deeply worried I’ll be living with my parents for much longer time and I won’t be as dependent as others are with the circumstances I’m in rn. I don’t drive - which has been a huge impact on my mental health. I get very flustered and have racing unpleasant thoughts reminding me I can’t drive . I keep getting the same thing from people - “you’ll get there eventually, ebeyone works at their own paste” what bothers me is the fact I feel I haven’t progressed in anything as far as driving goes . I don’t have anyone to teach me other the parents ( they are busy most time ) they’re not very consistent on teaching me either...parents are already giving me enough crap about me not being able to drive on my own. I’m truly concerned because I almsot feel I know nothing about Adult life . I feel stupid. I’m 19. I have college this upcoming august and I’m not sure I’ll even afford it with my financial aid. I have good amount of money saved but not sure it’s enough. I’m still working but that’s all I even do, plus having my constant ocd episodes does not help anything , it just makes it worse and I feel prone to feeling more isolated when I’m already feeling like shit let alone working . I probably won’t have time and/or afford therapy either in next couple months as I’m on a tight budget rn. Meanwhile, eveyone I know is having blast this summer , I come home after work to a room depressed not doing shit , but only watch tv. I font wanna be depending on my parents for anything . I’m scared . I’m FRUSTRATED. Idkkk what to do 🤷‍♂️idk what to do for me to help me . I’m doing everything I can. No one can teach me to drive . I’m so tired , jealous, angry, sad, scared , worried , upset , frustrated .