im so tired all the time ive lived a pretty rough life i struggled in school and had to leave for long periods of time sometimes i was in the hospital i never realy finished a year of high school i graduated each grade but never was there for the entire year ive never held a job my bf and ex husband were narcassist and abusive hard to leave those situations things in my life have been better and ive been able to just sit in my home in my bed and no have to be in my car and wonder wat and when i gonna eat and og out and steal food all day to make a meal everyday and go to the gas station to shower which i can barely shower at my own house cause of my ocd contamintion ocd and ritauls so at the gas station my spouse would help me more but i can see all these years ive had to worry bout other things to survive and wasnt able to get help now im tired i dont want to leave my house i get scared my ocd sucks i still need alot of help im up late my bf works 3rd shift so were on the same schedule im scared to get off my phone and sit here and try to go to bed i have alot of stress revolved round laying down sometimes im just laying there for awhile i get up alot and pee alot threwout the nite i never no if my upstairs and adjacent neighbors are gonna be loud and slamming doors its not the noise its the shakeing of the floors and walls and my bed that feel like im being shook awake everytime i have anything to do the next day even just going to the store im worried and dont get any rest i wake up exhausted and to tired to go and end up not going anywere i just dont like to lay here alone i dont like th feelings i feel i dont want to wake up to face tomorow cause of my ocd so i miss out on calling places and even when i call its never positive they dont accept my insurance they dont accept insurance at all there to expensive and i get let down and have a shitty rest of the day i even tried to just go to the mental health place here and they werent helpful dont understand ocd at all ive done been threw 15 years of these doctors not ever realy being able to tlk to them and now that i no theres ocd doctors and therpaist out there thats wat i want to go to and be treated by and also learning regualr doctors and therapist dont even understand ocd and cant do exposrure and response therapy.