Tillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
hendrik20115hendrik20115
- Date posted
- 3y
Struggling with this too because I didn't had the spark and had doubts right away. But what I'm thinking is that every relationship is unique and what counts is how you live your relationship. Sure there are people who had this spark and are happy ever after. But there are also people who thought it was the one and they get divorced after. Also there are people who worked hard for their relationship and it works out. And of course there are people who worked hard and it didn't pay off ;) So in the end you'll never know and what counts is your relationship!
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
But when it comes to something as important as marriage and starting a family I feel like you have to know ! Sure it doesn’t always work out but most people say when they’re in love they just know ?:( I do know this is my ocd talking but still x
KElizKEliz
- Date posted
- 3y
Not all love starts the same way. Every relationship experience is different from one person to the next. If you ask a friend, a family member, or a stranger, they would probably tell you something different. And most everyone has doubts. Comparing your relationship to others isn’t going to reflect accurately what yours will look like or what it needs to be for you.
HiddenPersonalityHiddenPerson...
- Date posted
- 3y
Why do you think about what happened in the past? The main thing that you love him now! You care about him and want to share every moment with him!
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
Because I still have doubts , I want to be with him but sometimes it feels wrong and I get anxiety , and I’ve labelled it ocd - my dad tells me he fell instantly for my mum and love is just something that happens it’s not something you grow into
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tillyyyx We’re meant to be getting married next year and I want nothing more than to share my life with him, however , I think a marriage is only sucsessful if you truly love your partner . I think I truly love him , but how can I be sure ? I have doubts and anxiety … a lot of people claim when they were in love they just knew !
HiddenPersonalityHiddenPerson...
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tillyyyx You know sometimes I feel like an awful person and that my boyfriend doesn’t deserve all of this, I think he deserves better. I doubt about marriage and everything but if you see that person treats you right and you want to be with them then just be with them and care as they do.
HiddenPersonalityHiddenPerson...
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tillyyyx I am so scared to marry but you know that we have to live our life and not to be scared. Don’t lose your happiness because of fears and overthinking.
Anonymous<3Anonymous<3
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tillyyyx Because of all the love myths we were told growing up , we start to go crazy if our relationship doesn’t look like that . Nothing anyone has ever told us about love is real . Every relationship will be different and we’re not gonna feel in love all the time and it’s okay . We just gotta keep going !
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
@HiddenPersonality See I’m truly scared because of how much I care about him as a person , I could never make a promise and break it with him! It sounds cringy but he really is to precious and too much of a good soul for me to make him go through a divorce . Which makes me feel a lot of pressure
HiddenPersonalityHiddenPerson...
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tillyyyx OCD blocks you from enjoying your life! But we deserve happiness too. We deserve to get married and have a family! I am sure you love your partner and you would do anything for him. Don’t be scared of getting married. Both of you are good! You are a great couple and you will have a great family! I wish you the best!
Mia AshMia Ash
- Date posted
- 3y
I struggle with this too. I was fresh out of my previously relationship which I feel clouded the beginning of my current relationship. I’m worried that because I didn’t completely heal from my last relationship it’s hindered the success of my current one. Our beginning had that spark but it also was very rocky. So I wonder, if our honeymoon phase was even rocky, then how can I expect the future to be any better than how things started?
TillyyyxTillyyyx
- Date posted
- 3y
and has that spark continued throughout the relationship ? I understand , it’s strange to here the other perspective - about having a spark but having doubts because of the Rocky nature of the relationship! It’s funny cause I think I have many aspects in our relationship which are truly amazing and things I could not even have imagined to be honest ! I don’t have that limerance - the fantasising and obsessing which I find challenging because I’ve had that with other people , strangers that I know nothing about and I think the more I try to stop it the more I obsess because of the guilt and shame with the ROCD. In fact I’ve never been deeply infatuated with any guy I’ve been with , however, because I do have true feelings for my boyfriend and view him as a long term partner this aspect has come to the surface much more
Mia AshMia Ash
- Date posted
- 3y
@Tillyyyx I feel like the spark hasn’t continued. So I have the same worry as you. I tend to read a lot of online articles and look to others relationships to compare mine against which I know isn’t healthy. I feel like I’ve had those special feelings in past relationships and not this one. But the difference between every relationship and my current one is my current bf actually pursues me, I know he loves me, I know he would do anything for me. In every other relationship I was neglected and given up on. I know you said you didn’t have that instant spark or chemistry but for awhile I’ve wondered if that matters. And what matters is that you continue to choose your partner despite your relationship not looking like what you see online or hear from others.
Related posts
Elliesmith
- Date posted
- 24w
I keep worrying that I don’t fancy my bf enough
Is this rocd??? I can’t stop worrying whether this is how I should feel in a relationship. For 5 years prior I never worried about this stuff. But now I’m just so anxious. I find myself looking at him checking to see if I find him attractive. And then when I look at him and dont feel anything I worry this means something … so overthinking I hate it .
polish_germa...
- Date posted
- 19w
Can it still be OCD if I don’t feel sexual attraction to my partner anymore?
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polish_germa...
- Date posted
- 19w
Can OCD make you question whether you’ve ever truly felt sexual desire?
I’m struggling with something I’m afraid to even admit out loud. I’ve been in a long-term relationship with someone I love deeply. He’s kind, safe, and emotionally close to me — and we’ve built a life together. But I keep obsessing over the fact that I don’t feel much sexual attraction anymore. Or maybe… I never truly did? At the beginning, I felt butterflies, excitement, connection — and I assumed that meant I was also attracted to him physically. But now, after reading so much and reflecting more deeply, I’m starting to wonder if I ever truly felt sexual desire in the way I was “supposed to.” Maybe my feelings were more about emotional longing, comfort, and romantic closeness — but not sexual chemistry. And now I don’t know what that means. OCD makes it so much worse. It constantly tells me: – “If you really loved him, you’d want him.” – “You’re leading him on.” – “What if you’re lying to yourself?” – “If you try to fix this and fail, you’ll have to leave.” I feel stuck between wanting to fight for this relationship — and being terrified that trying will just prove it’s hopeless. Has anyone experienced something like this? Can OCD really make you question something so deeply personal? And how do you move forward when even trying feels terrifying? Any thoughts or support would mean the world right now.
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