I feel so guilty that I didn’t feel an instant spark or chemistry with my boyfriend 🙁 because when I look online all articles/peoples opinions tend to say romantic love stems from lust which is a primal urge that you have straight away with someone it doesn’t develop over time it’s either there or it isn’t ! Also people recall how they fell in love it was the easiest and most natural thing with no doubts . It bothers me to this day, I don’t even know if what I have is ocd or if I’m lying to myself I hate this .

But when it comes to something as important as marriage and starting a family I feel like you have to know ! Sure it doesn’t always work out but most people say when they’re in love they just know ?:( I do know this is my ocd talking but still x

Because I still have doubts , I want to be with him but sometimes it feels wrong and I get anxiety , and I’ve labelled it ocd - my dad tells me he fell instantly for my mum and love is just something that happens it’s not something you grow into

@Tillyyyx We’re meant to be getting married next year and I want nothing more than to share my life with him, however , I think a marriage is only sucsessful if you truly love your partner . I think I truly love him , but how can I be sure ? I have doubts and anxiety … a lot of people claim when they were in love they just knew !

@Tillyyyx You know sometimes I feel like an awful person and that my boyfriend doesn’t deserve all of this, I think he deserves better. I doubt about marriage and everything but if you see that person treats you right and you want to be with them then just be with them and care as they do.

@Tillyyyx I am so scared to marry but you know that we have to live our life and not to be scared. Don’t lose your happiness because of fears and overthinking.

@Tillyyyx Because of all the love myths we were told growing up , we start to go crazy if our relationship doesn’t look like that . Nothing anyone has ever told us about love is real . Every relationship will be different and we’re not gonna feel in love all the time and it’s okay . We just gotta keep going !

@HiddenPersonality See I’m truly scared because of how much I care about him as a person , I could never make a promise and break it with him! It sounds cringy but he really is to precious and too much of a good soul for me to make him go through a divorce . Which makes me feel a lot of pressure

@Tillyyyx OCD blocks you from enjoying your life! But we deserve happiness too. We deserve to get married and have a family! I am sure you love your partner and you would do anything for him. Don’t be scared of getting married. Both of you are good! You are a great couple and you will have a great family! I wish you the best!

and has that spark continued throughout the relationship ? I understand , it’s strange to here the other perspective - about having a spark but having doubts because of the Rocky nature of the relationship! It’s funny cause I think I have many aspects in our relationship which are truly amazing and things I could not even have imagined to be honest ! I don’t have that limerance - the fantasising and obsessing which I find challenging because I’ve had that with other people , strangers that I know nothing about and I think the more I try to stop it the more I obsess because of the guilt and shame with the ROCD. In fact I’ve never been deeply infatuated with any guy I’ve been with , however, because I do have true feelings for my boyfriend and view him as a long term partner this aspect has come to the surface much more

@Tillyyyx I feel like the spark hasn’t continued. So I have the same worry as you. I tend to read a lot of online articles and look to others relationships to compare mine against which I know isn’t healthy. I feel like I’ve had those special feelings in past relationships and not this one. But the difference between every relationship and my current one is my current bf actually pursues me, I know he loves me, I know he would do anything for me. In every other relationship I was neglected and given up on. I know you said you didn’t have that instant spark or chemistry but for awhile I’ve wondered if that matters. And what matters is that you continue to choose your partner despite your relationship not looking like what you see online or hear from others.