- Date posted
- 2y ago
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Struggling with this too because I didn't had the spark and had doubts right away. But what I'm thinking is that every relationship is unique and what counts is how you live your relationship. Sure there are people who had this spark and are happy ever after. But there are also people who thought it was the one and they get divorced after. Also there are people who worked hard for their relationship and it works out. And of course there are people who worked hard and it didn't pay off ;) So in the end you'll never know and what counts is your relationship!
- Date posted
- 2y ago
But when it comes to something as important as marriage and starting a family I feel like you have to know ! Sure it doesn’t always work out but most people say when they’re in love they just know ?:( I do know this is my ocd talking but still x
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Not all love starts the same way. Every relationship experience is different from one person to the next. If you ask a friend, a family member, or a stranger, they would probably tell you something different. And most everyone has doubts. Comparing your relationship to others isn’t going to reflect accurately what yours will look like or what it needs to be for you.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Why do you think about what happened in the past? The main thing that you love him now! You care about him and want to share every moment with him!
- Date posted
- 2y ago
Because I still have doubts , I want to be with him but sometimes it feels wrong and I get anxiety , and I’ve labelled it ocd - my dad tells me he fell instantly for my mum and love is just something that happens it’s not something you grow into
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Tillyyyx We’re meant to be getting married next year and I want nothing more than to share my life with him, however , I think a marriage is only sucsessful if you truly love your partner . I think I truly love him , but how can I be sure ? I have doubts and anxiety … a lot of people claim when they were in love they just knew !
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Tillyyyx You know sometimes I feel like an awful person and that my boyfriend doesn’t deserve all of this, I think he deserves better. I doubt about marriage and everything but if you see that person treats you right and you want to be with them then just be with them and care as they do.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Tillyyyx I am so scared to marry but you know that we have to live our life and not to be scared. Don’t lose your happiness because of fears and overthinking.
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Tillyyyx Because of all the love myths we were told growing up , we start to go crazy if our relationship doesn’t look like that . Nothing anyone has ever told us about love is real . Every relationship will be different and we’re not gonna feel in love all the time and it’s okay . We just gotta keep going !
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@HiddenPersonality See I’m truly scared because of how much I care about him as a person , I could never make a promise and break it with him! It sounds cringy but he really is to precious and too much of a good soul for me to make him go through a divorce . Which makes me feel a lot of pressure
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Tillyyyx OCD blocks you from enjoying your life! But we deserve happiness too. We deserve to get married and have a family! I am sure you love your partner and you would do anything for him. Don’t be scared of getting married. Both of you are good! You are a great couple and you will have a great family! I wish you the best!
- Date posted
- 2y ago
I struggle with this too. I was fresh out of my previously relationship which I feel clouded the beginning of my current relationship. I’m worried that because I didn’t completely heal from my last relationship it’s hindered the success of my current one. Our beginning had that spark but it also was very rocky. So I wonder, if our honeymoon phase was even rocky, then how can I expect the future to be any better than how things started?
- Date posted
- 2y ago
and has that spark continued throughout the relationship ? I understand , it’s strange to here the other perspective - about having a spark but having doubts because of the Rocky nature of the relationship! It’s funny cause I think I have many aspects in our relationship which are truly amazing and things I could not even have imagined to be honest ! I don’t have that limerance - the fantasising and obsessing which I find challenging because I’ve had that with other people , strangers that I know nothing about and I think the more I try to stop it the more I obsess because of the guilt and shame with the ROCD. In fact I’ve never been deeply infatuated with any guy I’ve been with , however, because I do have true feelings for my boyfriend and view him as a long term partner this aspect has come to the surface much more
- Date posted
- 2y ago
@Tillyyyx I feel like the spark hasn’t continued. So I have the same worry as you. I tend to read a lot of online articles and look to others relationships to compare mine against which I know isn’t healthy. I feel like I’ve had those special feelings in past relationships and not this one. But the difference between every relationship and my current one is my current bf actually pursues me, I know he loves me, I know he would do anything for me. In every other relationship I was neglected and given up on. I know you said you didn’t have that instant spark or chemistry but for awhile I’ve wondered if that matters. And what matters is that you continue to choose your partner despite your relationship not looking like what you see online or hear from others.
Related posts
- Date posted
- 15w ago
Idk what else to title this. I was watching a film cooper video cuz why not and he mentioned smthn about wall paper customization and icons and stuff and I just kinda had a groinal response followed by the memory of me having my first crush on a woman (my friend at the time) that helped me figure out that I’m bi and I felt kinda intensely for her but that’s cuz a) it was new and b) we were kinda on again off again friends who haven’t spoken in a few years now and I’m over her entirely. It was toxic I think. She was too much like the person who bullied me in elementary school (they were friends as well so my mom made me cut her off which is. Fair. Made me really sad but eh that’s life) I saw her at prom cuz someone brought her. It was nice to see her but yeah that was it. And now I’m mentally comparing what I felt for women in the past (idk intense crush, listening to a lot of gay songs (think she by dodie) dressing semi masc cuz funky, we had nicknames for each other despite not dating or anything) to men (less intense crush but still big crush, I’ve only dated and kissed men so sparks rhere) and now I’m just slightly nauseous and worried that I don’t like men as much as I like women but I think that’s normal for any bi person? To have different levels of attraction to different genders? Idk I feel gross and icky now like I shouldn’t even be thinking about it or her cuz I have a bf. And I do look fondly upon it, now I’m nervous cuz I got more excited about her calling me a specific nickname than I do from my bf calling me honey even at the beginning? Honey felt more traditional and I love it but we do switch around nicknames and it’s always nice, not many butterflies anymore, and sometimes I get anxious when he does lately, if it’s a nickname in Portuguese. Or if he called me a shortened version of my name. What does that mean? I’m nervous now. I was doing half decently today now I’m nauseous again. I’m worried that cuz I liked the nicknames she and I had that means I don’t like the ones my bf and I have and that I just don’t like him or men cuz I’ve been feeling off around him. But I love when he calls me honey, it still feels good when he does it now but no butterflies. Idk what’s wrong with me. Is it even ocd at this point. Even if I do like women slightly more it doesn’t erase that I love my bf. I’m worried I’m leaning too much towards women tho and I’m a lesbian. Idk if my bi cycle is cycling or if I’m just a lesbian entirely cuz I don’t feel much when my bf takes off his shirt, sex feels different, and things feel stale and slow. But maybe that’s cuz I’m checking and comparing. Now I’m anxious fuck. I’m trying not to think about her idk why. I’m worried I still find her attractive or am attracted to her or smthn. She’s in my city. I didn’t care before but now I do. Or if I think about her I’ll think about other women and will only want to have sec with women which not really tbh. I wanna be able to enjoy sec with my bf. It just hasn’t felt right lately cuz I’ve been so depressed and obsessive. I wasn’t obsessing much last night when we had sex but it still didn’t feel passionate. It didn’t feel uncomfortable but I thought it’d be more? Idk. I know it’s normal to not feel him inside me cuz the vagina isn’t very nerved up compared to the clitoris but it felt like more the motions. But tbh. I needed it. Idk I wanted to have sex and it was a nice stress relief. I just didn’t feel butterflies which kinda bummed me out but we’ve been having sex since august so that’s normal. Idk. I haven’t been able to fantasize about sex. The fact that I’m bi makes all of this so confusing. Cuz yes hypothetically I can enjoy the thought of sex with a woman. But I don’t want to rn cuz I’m dating a man. And I can’t fantasize about sex with him cuz I’m getting intrusive thoughts about my friends and I having sex. I have this urge to watch porn cuz it’s been a while but I’m not going to. I’ve cut down a lot on masturbation. Partially cuz this partially cuz I wanna do things with my bf (when I’m mentally ok) but jow my brain is saying “Oo you think all these women are so hot you’re gonna go feral blah blah blah” and yes women are hot but I don’t wanna have sex with a woman. Idk saying women are hot doesn’t bring me anxiety but the thought of sex with one or leaving my bf and saying I’m a lesbian bother me. Cuz I know it’s not true. I love him I know that. I’d be happy if we stayed together. I wouldn’t regret a thing honestly. I like having sex with him. Idc if it’s not like porn or the movies. As long as I’m being pleasured and he’s being pleasured we’re good. That’s what sex is about. I think the loss of butterflies is normal cuz the excitement of like (sorry tmi) fingering and oral eventually wears off right? But still feels good. I don’t feel as excited about intimacy anymore cuz we have done it so often but it still feels nice. But my brain perceives that as me not liking sex with men and therefore I’m gay. No I just don’t feel the need to jump his bones every single time I see him?? Idk the friend thing is bothering me. Idk if I feel any joy behind it. The groinal response really really throws my perception off
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- Date posted
- 13w ago
Im a 21 year old female in a straight relationship with the best guy a girl could ever ask for. About 2 months ago, I went to get coffee with a friend and as I dropped her off, I got a “weird” vibe from her and the look she gave me which lead to the thought of “should I kiss her”….Ive never had a thought like that before and I never have ever wanted to kiss another girl. I have also never had a desire to be with another girl (sexually or romantically). Now though, I have had one other experience of being with a different friend going to get lunch and it felt weird. Ever since then I have been on google non stop with hundreds of different searches, questioning if im lying to myself of my boyfriend, wondering about my past relationships even though Ive only dated boys, been attracted to boys, crushed on boys, etc… boy crazy! Reading on other forums has been a big thing too or doing quizzes. I believe its SO-OCD but im so scared that what if its not. I am in therapy and actually had two weeks of not even thinking about it or googling it until yesterday. I dont know what to do.
- Date posted
- 13w ago
I’m 25 and never ever thought this before my soocd relapse. I have a bf of 5 years. Never been a high libido kinda girl. Don’t get me wrong I do get turned on by my bf but not like every day you know? - That had always been in the back of my head, is this normal and ok? But my ocd has latched onto the most scariest what if EVER. My brain is now saying How do you know you won’t prefer to sleep and kiss girls if you haven’t tried it: and it’s that unknown that is scaring the shit out of me. I DONT AND NEVER HAVE wanted to sleep / kiss a girl. But now my intrusive thoughts is all I think about!!! I don’t want I don’t want I don’t want??? So why does my brain think BUT WHAT IF??? I know ocd thrives off uncertainty which is why I think this is happening? But I don’t wanna find out or work it out because all I want is to be with my bf and marry him!! Is this just the epitome of OCD?
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