- Username
- Kamil
- Date posted
- 5y ago
I have mild to moderate OCD and it comes and goes. I see a therapist and I refrain from medication. I very actively do ERP's.
it just depends i guess but yeah it does happen both ways
Recently i have been 100% consumed day in day out by my thoughts literally sont have a 5 minute break where i forget unless im asleep
i had that a couple months ago and sometimes it comes back. do you have a therapist or medication?
Yeah therapist doesnt really help me though im not sure what my obsessions are about so its tough to attack.. ive had different OCD subsets like - HOCD and a breathing OCD .. rn its more of just life/existence related but its not a certain idea or thought just a broad area lol. No medications.
prepare for me to bomb you with questions sorry. does your therapist have experience with ocd? how long have you been in therapy or seen this therapist? how long have you had ocd? (if you haven’t been diagnosed that completely fine)
Hes a general therapist who is knowledgeable in OCD. Ive been seeing him for about a month now (4 sessions) mostly talk therapy for now. My “first” ocd was in highschool about 2013 with HOCD that i cant really remember how long it lasted for but i remember i dealt with it daily for a long time but it slowly subsided and would come back randomly but go away and i wasnt consumed. Then probably 2 years or maybe longer after all that i got a “breathing” ocd where i couldnt catch my breath and i was consumed daily by that for about a month or longer my previous therapist told me i have GAD. But i felt like it was more than that because I genuinely felt my brain lock onto a feeling/thought/urge and instantly cause anxiety.
Then that went away life went back to normal and september of 2018 a guy i knew killed himself and i remember thinking what if i get to the point in my life where i wanna kill myself and i had a full blown panic attack.. after about a week it went away i forgot all about it until i was reminded but it didnt stick.. then about 2 months after a old friend of mine committed suicide and the anxiety exploded terribly. Its never been worse i was bed lock with dark thoughts of my past and my brain searching for evidence that would decide if i was going to kill myself or not. From there it turned into an existential whats the point of life thinking from there it turned into a is this all even real thinking and so fourth lol.
Thankfully i havent been bedlocked but my life just seems so weird and off... im usually such a upbeat happy optimistic person and recently ive been so confused and in a dark place
Yes, that is usually in the evening. I don't know why. I think that maybe it's because I see another day is over and my fears didn't came true.
Smallbird, that's so interesting. I am the opposite. I'm more relaxed in the morning because I didn't die overnight. And by night, I'm tense about everything.
Question, anyone have a day where there’s no intrusive thoughts or irrational worries, but then you start to feel a little anxious for no apparent reason; so your mind immediately jumps to the thoughts that usually bother you?
Does anyone else feel like they’re OCD turns off for a couple days? Like you go through an intense period of having intrusive thoughts and feeling the need to confess and then you only start to get thoughts here and there? And you try to keep yourself from having the thoughts but you’re not sure if it’s avoidance? Like I have felt sooo much better the last couple of days, especially in the morning, I live for those times of quiet in my head. But I still haven’t been able to accept myself for the things I might have done, like I can’t accept myself still because of my OCD. This probably sounds a little jumbled but I would like to think someone can relate lol
Sometimes it seems like my OCD can go away for weeks at a time, until I sense it looming and comes back at me full force and I fall back into a vicious cycle of obsessions. Does anyone else have long periods of time they feel they don't have as strong symptoms?
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