ERP Question

I've been doing more "surprise" exposures (like just watching TikToks and if I see a trigger, I try to just watch it and move on like normal) and I'm running into the issue of: now I'm having more intrusive thoughts, and they feel more sticky than they did *before* the exposures. I ask because I don't have access to a therapist to guide me on this, but is this common? It isn't a backdoor spike because I'm, quite frankly, not managing my OCD that well yet to have that happen. I have absolutely seen progress in myself, but I'm really hitting a wall and it feels like I'm getting stuck - and I hate it. Especially while I'm doing everything on my own because I don't want to live like this anymore. :/

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

I saw a trigger yesterday morning, and my mood has been completely shot since - I tried to go about my day as normal, even played a video game with my dad, but I've been nauseously anxious and having intrusive thoughts & groinals all day despite being perfectly fine 2 days ago. :(

Username: tulipomaniatulipomania

Date posted: 2y ago

Hey! Totally relate to this. First of all, when you do ERP, it often gets worse - sometimes waaaay worse - than it gets better. I encourage you to keep going. But also! Don’t feel like you haaaave to search for ERP constantly. Maybe take a break from the TikToks and reels and social media for a second… something I’ve learned is when I hear/see/experience a trigger, it’s okay to acknowledge it and mooooove on. It’s okay to just say “of course that triggered me. Now I’m choosing to not focus on it”. So therefore, if the ERP is a little intense, back off. You don’t have to do one after another after another. You are allowed - and often encouraged - to do one and then stop. I’ve also found sometimes saying “hi trigger” then ignoring it is ERP too. Just ignoring the fear/intrusive thought all together out of a “whatever major loser!!” not a fear way. Point being, yes, sometimes it gets worse. But also don’t feel the need to force yourself to do ERP to every TikTok you see and go looking for it. Deal with it how it works best for you when you get there.

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@tulipomania I struggle a lot with my triggers because, prior to my OCD coming at my like a freight train, I had zero interest in any of it at all (my main theme is POCD). I didn't care about kids, or having them, or baby videos, or whatever - I would've just scrolled past them because... I didn't care. But now with my OCD, I feel obligated in a sense to watch every single little thing that pops up that I know is a trigger. I want to be able to get to the point where I don't care again, and I don't even know if what I'm doing is the right way to do it. 💀 I'm just throwing darts at a board and hoping it sticks, basically. It sucks as someone that's AFAB, because I am constantly a target for baby/kid ads and content - I just unfortunately happen to be at an age and assumed gender where that's marketed to me. 😭

Username: tulipomaniatulipomania

Date posted: 2y ago

@moonlights I am so sorry you’re feeling this way and you’re struggling with POCD - that is so, so hard and scary. You’re so brave for dealing with it and working on it, seriously. If you feel “obligated”, sounds like that could be compulsion-Esque. If you scroll past it and feel uncomfy for doing so, then you’re ERPing yourself! I’m obviously not a therapist or professional, but my therapist has told me that usually when something feels like an obligation or you “have to do it” - like watching all those videos or doing ERP with everything that triggers you - is a compulsion. You may not WANT to do it, you just “need to”, right? So basically, so whatever works best for you, but that obligation is not an obligation! You do not haaaaave to do anything!! Good luck! It will get brighter soon!

Username: Meebee22Meebee22

Date posted: 2y ago

I’m so sorry to hear you are going through this, I have similar experiences lately and I just started therapy so I don’t have the best advice but from what I know when days get worse it’s usually a sign of you getting better. Your ocd knows you were alright and makes things stickier and harder to get over so it can maintain prevalence. What helps me is thinking of all my old obsessions I thought I would never get over and seeing how far I’ve come now. It may be really hard right now, but you can get though it. ❤️

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Meebee22 Unfortunately my theme has been the same for as long as I've had my OCD, so I haven't got anything to look at as a comparison. :( I know I'm doing better, but I'm kinda getting stuck on the groinals and what ifs about whether or not it's even OCD (because I'm not diagnosed - just fit every criteria lol. 🫠) Thank you for the kind comment, I appreciate it. 🤍

Username: Meebee22Meebee22

Date posted: 2y ago

@moonlights I definitely get that, I have the same issue and it’s so hard to look past. I hope things get better for you soon, it’s so rough but you’re not alone.❤️

Username: AnonymousAnonymous

Date posted: 2y ago

@Meebee22 I'm going to work with my sister to try and get a therapist, even if I can only afford one session. :) I've done a lot on my own, but I don't think I can completely be free from my OCD without a professional anymore.

Username: Meebee22Meebee22

Date posted: 2y ago

@moonlights Good luck! I’m the same way, I have been working and researching a lot but there’s only so much you can do by yourself. I am not sure how much longer I can afford therapy but I hope that you get the help you need and recover asap :)

Username: Anonymous

Date posted: 1y ago

Struggling with Relapse?

I’ve been doing really well the past few months. I’ve been consistent with ERP therapy and other exercises to help manage my OCD. However, something triggered my OCD to come back in full force last week and while I know that the journey to recovery isn’t linear, and I know that this is something I will always have to work on, it’s been very disheartening and it feels like all the progress I’ve made has been for nothing. It’s exhausting and I’m struggling with intrusive thoughts that I will never get better again. Anyone else relate?

Username: Nate_093

Date posted: 50w ago

Erp is so overwhelming

So I've unintentionally started to confront some of my triggers. I have real event OCD with "I don't deserve" thoughts that have latched onto pretty much every aspect of my life. I'm leaving overseas tomorrow with my partner to go and see her family, we've had this trip planned for awhile, and for a long time I was good with it. Two days ago my head goes "but wait, you don't deserve to enjoy going overseas" forcing me to confront this trigger. So long story short, I'm unintentionally doing erp. The problem is I find it so overwhelming, all my old OCD triggers have come up at the same time due to me being stressed. I've also stopped sleeping well, is this normal for starting erp?.

Username: Anonymous

User type: OCD Conqueror

Date posted: 48w ago

Trying ERP on myself

I haven’t had my first session with my therapist yet, but after reading up on ERP and everything I can about OCD I started trying to expose myself to my triggers and do the tips I read on how to handle it. I thought I was getting slightly better these last few days but today I kicked it up a notch and now, hours later, feel terrible and feel like I’m back in square one and have made no progress. My POCD thoughts are horrible again and I’m scared ERP isn’t gonna work on me because of it. I want to get better now but I also don’t know if trying to ERP myself is a good idea when I haven’t met with my OCD specialist yet, can that make it worse? Am I not doing it right? What should I do?

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