- Username
- raenw
- Date posted
- 5y ago
@maga thanks for responding and being open. I appreciate it lots!
It took me a while to get diagnosed, and before I knew what it was I just felt so terribly awful and knew there was something very wrong and phoned the therapist in the midst of a panic attack. I tried to explain to her: "I'm agonizing over something I didn't do and I know I didn't do it but I just can't let it go". It was awful. I haven't told all my friends, but the thing is, there is so much ignorance, I don't think they would get it.
:D
I always was able to keep my OCD pretty hidden then it became more intense and I'd be noticed w some of my OCD things I'd do but I basically self diagnosed and then saw Dr and specialist in which doesn't seem to help me that much besides taking a slight edge off w the meds. I didn't mind talking to someone about it since it controls a lot of my life but also I'm not into just talking to people I meet about it because I don't like that focus of that on me more than I already deal w it in life.
@Bkm1973 thanks for sharing your experiences. I appreciate it!
Lane no problem ?
What is your OCD story? I’m curious to hear about what other people’s journeys with OCD have been like. When you were diagnosed/what kind of treatment you have tried/what kind of OCD or symptoms do you have/what has helped you most? For me personally I don’t have a lot of people that I feel comfortable sharing my journey with in real life so I like having the chance to let it out on another platform. I’d love to hear whatever you are willing to share. I’ll start by sharing my journey. I was first diagnosed with and treated for OCD when I was seven (12 years ago). It started when my parents noticing that I was constantly smelling and washing my hands. I also worried a lot about my family’s safety and had a lot of magical thinking: I couldn’t throw anything away, had special walking rituals, had to touch things certain ways, etc. When I got to high school my symptoms got worse. I was re-diagnosed with OCD, dermatillomania, social anxiety, generalized anxiety, panic disorder, and depression. My OCD had morphed into just right/perfection obsessions (took me hours to do a simple homework assignment and I spent hours per day reviewing my interactions to look for mistakes), contamination OCD (couldn’t go outside, in my car, downstairs in my home, etc.), magical thinking OCD (knocked on wood over 60 times per day), health OCD, fears of losing control and intrusive thoughts. My life was consumed by my disorders so I entered a partial hospitalization program for OCD for 12 weeks. Two years later I was still struggling to function. I felt like I had tried everything. intensive ERP, 13 different medications, 11 different mental health specialists so I decided to enter residential OCD treatment. I was there for 3 months. It helped a lot to have the intensive ERP and 24/7 staff support. I got also got a much better grasp on my issues. I still struggle but I know how to deal with my obsessions and compulsions. I doubt anyone made it this far but if you did thank you for your time. I’m definitely interested in reading other people’s stories no matter how short or long they are :). Have a great day.
When and how did you first discover you may have OCD? I'm beginning to think OCD is one of the most understudied, misunderstood mental health issues ever. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder about 6 years ago after I started suffering from panic attacks, but only just recently discovered my condition could be much more specific than that. I've been suffering from intrusive thoughts and complusions since I was a teenager with a variety of themes. And honestly this app and amazing community has opened my eyes to it. I'm curious if anyone else has had an experience like mine where they were just thrown into the general diagnosis category of just having anxiety and/or depression and is only just now coming to terms with having OCD? What has been your experience with the therapists on this app? I'm using another popular, pricey app for talk therapy at the moment, but so far 4 therapists have ghosted me on it so my confidence is feeling pretty shot. Has talk therapy and working with a therapist on here been successful for you?
Has anyone else had trouble telling people about their OCD? I would like to help break the stigma about mental health and be a part of the change. But it is such an exhausting thing to even think about. Not only would it be difficult to tell people (even people I trust), but it would be even more difficult to have to explain to people what OCD really is (not just the stereotypes they have seen on TV). On top of that I keep thinking how do I even begin to explain the subtypes that I have experienced? I suppose I don't have to, but it helps to give some real depth for them to sink their teeth into; to really understand the difference between OCPD and OCD. I keep thinking if I can get through ERP (which I have recently done), then I can certainly share my disorder with others (well I cant be 100% certain...see what I did there?). I know I don't have to tell others about my OCD and I respect people who want to keep it private. I have for years. I just think that I would like to be confident, own it, and help others who are still figuring out about their own mental health struggles. I know many of my family and friends will be surprised to hear that I have OCD. So if you have any suggestions or anecdotes you would be willing to share that would be great. Thanks!
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